Opening Panel Round Our panelists answer questions about the week's news: It's good to be Alvin Wong.
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Opening Panel Round

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Opening Panel Round

Opening Panel Round

Opening Panel Round

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Our panelists answer questions about the week's news: It's good to be Alvin Wong.

PETER SAGAL, Host:

We want to remind everybody they can join us here most weeks, right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago. For tickets and more information, you always can go to WBEZ.org and you can find a link at our website, waitwait.npr.org. And you can check out the new podcast, "How to do Everything," from the producers of WAIT WAIT. You can find that at howtodoeverything.org.

Right now, Panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Faith, Alvin Wong is a 69-year-old guy living in Honolulu with his wife and kids. And according to the New York Times, he is also what?

FAITH SALIE: I need a hint.

SAGAL: Well, there's a smile on his face for the whole human race.

SALIE: Oh, he's the happiest man alive.

SAGAL: He's the happiest man alive. He is.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: He's the happiest man in America.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Yes, he is. Yes. The Times commissioned a study of what factors correlate best to human happiness. It turns out Asians tend to be happier than other ethnicities. Jews tend to be happier than other religious groups. Really, are they talking about Jewish Jews?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I know some. Anyway, it turns out, if you put them all together, the theoretically most happy person would be a married, tall Asian Jew living in Hawaii with his wife and kids, who makes over $120,000 a year. All those factors put together. Such a person exists and his name is Alvin Wong. He lives in Honolulu.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And the Times called him up and they said, "Are you happy?" He said, "Yeah, I'm pretty happy."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The study also identified the unhappiest person in America. That would be Mrs. Wong, who just can't stand that smug bastard for another day.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

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