Limericks Carl reads three news-related limericks: An eight-legged freak; Missing a beat; The stoned age.
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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

Limericks

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Carl reads three news-related limericks: An eight-legged freak; Missing a beat; The stoned age.

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924, or you can click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!.

HANNAH LAWRENCE: Hi, this is Hannah Lawrence from Ventura, California.

SAGAL: Hi, how are you?

LAWRENCE: Fine, thank you. How are you?

SAGAL: I'm really well. So what do you do there in Ventura?

LAWRENCE: I design test fixturing. We test primarily optical components.

SAGAL: Okay. So you're one of those techy guys.

LAWRENCE: I'll take that as a compliment.

SAGAL: It is; it's meant as one. Well Hannah, welcome to our show. Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of them, you will, of course, win our prize. Ready to go?

LAWRENCE: Yes.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, Host:

I have asked my insurance provider for the venom of silky web gliders. The trick of Cialis is merely paralysis. Just like from the bite of a?

LAWRENCE: Spider?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Spidey. Very good, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: You got it. Scientists in Georgia believe they have found a natural substitute for Viagra. Instead of taking that conspicuous blue pill, all you have to do now is find a Brazilian wandering spider and provoke him.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: One bite and you'll be good to go for up to four hours, scientists say. And while this won't stop you, keep in mind the side effects of a bite of this spider include paralysis, loss of muscle control and asphyxiation.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So really, if your erection lasts longer than four hours, that would be the least of your problems.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

MO ROCCA: Okay, so this spider is a real turn-on.

SAGAL: It is actually, yes.

ROCCA: And it's a Brazilian spider.

SAGAL: It is.

ROCCA: So it's probably really passionate.

SAGAL: They're very hot.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: Though this dance tune is set on repeat, I don't know what to do with my feet. You might think I'm sublime, that I've transcended time, but I'm really just deaf to the?

LAWRENCE: Beat?

SAGAL: Yes, beat.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A bad sense of rhythm is no longer just a curse, or a way to pick out the white people in dark dance clubs.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Now, it's a disease. Scientists at the University of Montreal encouraged beat deafness in 23-year-old Mathieu, a subject. They say he, quote, "flails in a time zone of his own when bouncing up and down to a melody."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Now, since that same description probably fits you and all of your dads, you might be wondering what took scientists so long to notice it, especially when all they had to do to discover it was to go dancing with the other scientists.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, very good, here is your last limerick.

KASELL: As a caveman who's painting his rooms, my time warps and space grows bright plumes. I'm pre-Raphaelic and most psychedelic, 'cause I'm really tripping on?

LAWRENCE: Shrooms?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Shrooms.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Shrooms. Look at a cave painting, and you might think that our distant primitive ancestors had a remarkable sense of color, form and movement. It turns out, nope, they were just high.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Scientists studying the 6,000-year-old cave paintings in Spain say there's no doubt the 13 small mushroom-like objects depicted in the murals are a local hallucinogenic mushroom. They're still found in the area. And in addition to the drawings, archeologists have unearthed other signs of ancient drug use such as ancient lava lamps.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And a cave painting of a youth Keith Richards.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

TOM BODETT: I mean, if you were, like, stuck in Neolithic times, wouldn't you have to just be high all the time?

SAGAL: Just to get through it?

BODETT: I mean just to get through the day.

SAGAL: Absolutely.

BODETT: Oh my God, hunting, gathering.

SAGAL: Hunting.

BODETT: Hunting, gathering.

ROCCA: On Neolithium.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Just to have a conversation, you know.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Hannah do on our quiz?

KASELL: Hannah had three correct answers, Peter. So Hannah, you win our prize.

SAGAL: Well done, congratulations.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

LAWRENCE: Thank you.

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing, Hannah.

LAWRENCE: Thank you for having me.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

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