Panel Round Two More questions for the panel: An early start, Al Cosmo.
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Panel Round Two

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Panel Round Two

Panel Round Two

Panel Round Two

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More questions for the panel: An early start, Al Cosmo.

CARL KASELL, Host:

From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Amy Dickinson and Maz Jobrani. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Thank you, Carl.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thanks so much. In just a minute, in his March Madness bracket, Carl picks the University of Rhyme to go all the way to the Final Four. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, Panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.

Maz, a Manhattan mother has sued her four-year-old daughter's elite preschool, claiming the instruction there did what?

MAZ JOBRANI: Taught her?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. Because of them she will not be able to do what?

JOBRANI: She won't be able to...

SAGAL: I mean, no, she'll have to.

AMY DICKINSON: Get into?

JOBRANI: College.

SAGAL: But not only college.

JOBRANI: Oh, get a job.

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Graduate school.

SAGAL: No, not just any college.

JOBRANI: Oh Harvard.

SAGAL: Yes. Because of them, she will not be able to go to an Ivy League school, so she's suing.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Oh my gosh.

SAGAL: That's the lawsuit.

POUNDSTONE: Is it too late for my parents to get a piece of this?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: I'll tell you something.

SAGAL: This woman, her name is Nicole Imprescia, she paid $19,000 to send her daughter to the elite York Avenue Preschool. Why did she do that? Because it would prepare her daughter for the ERB test, which you need to ace to get into a good kindergarten. And you need that to get into a good grammar school, which gets you into an elite high school, which you need for the Ivys. So basically, it's this preschool that decides who in life will be a winner and who's going to go to the corner to eat the paste.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to the lawsuit, "the school proved not to be a school at all, but just one big playroom."

POUNDSTONE: Oh no.

SAGAL: It's preschool.

JOBRANI: How dare they. How dare they.

SAGAL: In which little Lucia was squandering precious study time learning shapes and colors. And shapes and colors do not get you to Harvard, people.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Listen, unless you have oval really down...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: You know what, this is like one of those whoa moments for me where I just realize what went wrong.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I had Mrs. Bump in Sudbury Co-op. And I'll tell you something, she is going down.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Your preschool teacher was named Mrs. Bump?

POUNDSTONE: Yeah. There were days she couldn't even teach because we were laughing so hard.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Amy, last year we talked about a new glossy magazine that was launched by al Qaeda. And we predicted what they might do as a follow-up. We were right. As a second title, al Qaeda has now launched what?

DICKINSON: Hmm, a glossy magazine and a second title.

SAGAL: Well, the first one was sort of like a lifestyle magazine.

DICKINSON: Right.

SAGAL: Like al Qaeda Gentlemen's Quarterly. That kind of thing.

DICKINSON: Right, okay.

SAGAL: Maybe it's called - I'm not sure, maybe it's called like Cosmo Qaeda.

DICKINSON: Like a women's magazine.

SAGAL: Yes, a women's magazine, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The first issue of the magazine, the real title translates as The Majestic Woman. It features on the cover, yes, a woman in a burka holding a machine gun.

DICKINSON: No.

SAGAL: Articles include, and imagine this, if you will, printed around the picture of the woman on the cover, you know. "How to Marry a Mujahideen."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: First aid tips. And this is real, "How to Preserve a Youthful Complexion." And al Qaeda's answer? Never leave your house. Seriously.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

SAGAL: Keep your face covered. Don't go outside.

JOBRANI: That's good advice.

POUNDSTONE: Oh man.

JOBRANI: The sun can really be, you know.

SAGAL: I know.

DICKINSON: They are really starting to piss me off.

SAGAL: Oh, finally.

DICKINSON: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: I would consider writing a monthly column for them, but otherwise...

SAGAL: Of course, because...

JOBRANI: Ask Amy, the Infidel.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That would really be funny. That'd be great. I think they should have an Ask an Infidel column.

POUNDSTONE: Oh that's a great idea.

DICKINSON: I love that.

SAGAL: It could always be like, editor's note: don't do that.

POUNDSTONE: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Boy, I mean if they had any problems winning over the women before, this will do it.

SAGAL: Oh, yeah, this will...

DICKINSON: Yeah, this will take care of it.

SAGAL: Cosmo, "How to have an explosive night in bed." Al Qaeda, "How to spend time in bed with a guy with explosives."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Gently, gently, no sudden moves.

DICKINSON: Yeah, that's right.

POUNDSTONE: Avoid detonation.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: That's terrible.

JOBRANI: Don't pull that.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

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