Who's Carl This Time? Carl reads three quotes from the weeks news: European Vacation, RSVP'ing the Grand Old Party and Rapture Redo.
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Who's Carl This Time?

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Who's Carl This Time?

Who's Carl This Time?

Who's Carl This Time?

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Carl reads three quotes from the weeks news: European Vacation, RSVP'ing the Grand Old Party and Rapture Redo.

CARL KASELL, host:

From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell, and here's your host, at the North Charleston Performing Arts Center in Charleston, South Carolina, Peter Sagal.

(Soundbite of cheering and applause)

PETER SAGAL, host:

Thank you. Thank you, Carl.

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: Thank you. Thank you very much. Yeah, we feel the same way. It's great to be here in Charleston. Later on, we're going to get celebrated Charleston Chef Bob Waggoner on to explain how all those shrimp crawled into our grits.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: But we left Chicago for one simple reason this week: There is no more Chicago.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: We knew that Oprah Winfrey was ending her show, but...

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: ...what we didn't expect was that when she was done, her crew would disassemble the skyline and lay off the three million extras who were playing, quote, "Chicagoans."

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Anyway, we're looking for substance this week, so give us a call. The number is 1-888-Wait Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924.

It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on WAIT, WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

Hi.

SAGAL: Hi, who's this?

Ms. LAURA FABIAN (Biologist): I'm Laura from Pasadena.

SAGAL: Hey, Laura. From Pasadena, California?

Ms. FABIAN: Oh, I'm sorry. Pasadena, Maryland.

SAGAL: Pasadena, Maryland?

Ms. FABIAN: Yes.

SAGAL: I didn't know there was a Pasadena, Maryland.

Ms. FABIAN: It's very small. We're on the water.

SAGAL: Oh, really? So you're out there on the ocean.

Ms. FABIAN: The bay.

SAGAL: The bay. Sorry.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Ms. FABIAN: Oh, that's okay.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Ms. FABIAN: It's much smaller.

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Laura. Let me introduce you to our panel this week, joining us here in Charleston.

First up, author and humorist with a name sort of familiar to most Americans, its Mr. Tom Bodett.

(Soundbite of applause and cheering)

Mr. TOM BODETT (Author and Humorist): Hi, Laura. How are you?

Ms. FABIAN: Very good.

SAGAL: Next, a contributor to "CBS Sunday Morning," Ms. Faith Salie.

(Soundbite of applause)

Ms. FAITH SALIE (Contributor, "CBS Sunday Morning"): Hi, Laura.

Ms. FABIAN: Hi, Faith.

SAGAL: And lastly, a writer for HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher," Mr. Adam Felber is here.

(Soundbite of applause and cheering)

Mr. ADAM FELBER (Writer, "Real Time with Bill Maher"): Hi, Laura.

Ms. FABIAN: Hi, Adam.

SAGAL: Laura, welcome to the show. You're going to start us of, of course, with Who's Carl This Time. Carl Kasell is going to read you three quotes from the week's news. Your job, of course, correctly explain or identify them do that two times out of three, you'll win our prize: Carl Kasell's voice on your home voicemail. Ready to go?

Ms. FABIAN: Yes, absolutely.

SAGAL: Here is your first quote.

KASELL: He killed his pint of Guinness, he gets my vote.

SAGAL: That was Christy O'Sullivan, an Irishman talking about a man who displayed his ability to drink Guinness while visiting his country this week. Who?

SAGAL: Oh, that was Barack Obama.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed. It was Barack Obama.

(Soundbite of applause and cheering)

(Soundbite of a bell)

SAGAL: It was a successful trip, not only did the president finish off his Guinness, he then burped out the terms of a new trade agreement.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: President Obama went to Europe to meet some heads of state and to attend the G8 meeting. He had a serious purpose - he needs our allies to pick up the check for once.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: He's like, come on, guys. We got bin Laden, can you cover us on the Libya thing?

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: And then check comes, and France immediately - boom - disappears to the bathroom.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: President Obama is popular in Europe, but our media seemed obsessed during this trip with Obama's gaffes. First, he signed - did you see this? He signed the guest book at Westminster Abbey and he wrote the date as 2008?

(Soundbite of a gasp)

Ms. SALIE: That was a good year.

Mr. BODETT: Because that was the date - year.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: And then the presidential limo gets stuck on a curb. But those really weren't really gaffes. It was all part of a very calculated move to shed his elitist image for the coming campaign. It's going to be: Obama 2012, He's Just Like You - Kind of Dumb.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: This whole campaign though, to make the president seem more human, really didn't work. For example, when his car got stuck, he yelled: D'oh. But he spelled it D-E-A-U-X.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Ms. SALIE: You know, you said the media has been obsessed with his gaffes.

SAGAL: Yes.

Ms. SALIE: But y'all see the pictures of Michelle Obama's hair? There's this great shot of very gusty, and the queen is holding down the bottom of her dress. And Michelle Obama's hair goes vertical.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Ms. SALIE: And I...

SAGAL: As if she had just seen the queen fail to hold down the bottom of her dress.

(Soundbite of laughter and applause)

SAGAL: That would be the reaction. All right, very good. Here is your next quote.

KASELL: If I have disappointed you, I will always be sorry.

SAGAL: That was Governor Mitch Daniels of Indiana, saying that just like a lot of other Republican politicians he is not going to do what, either?

Ms. FABIAN: Oh, he's not going to run for president.

SAGAL: He isn't going to run for president.

(Soundbite of a bell)

SAGAL: He said so. That's very good, yes.

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: Republicans are looking for a savior in the 2012 presidential election, got two pieces of bad news this week. First, Mitch Daniels said he would not run. And second, former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty said he would.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Pawlenty's campaign did not start out well. This is true, his - its kind of an omen. His hometown paper in St Paul put the news of his official announcement on the obit page.

Ms. FABIAN: Ooh.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: His slogan is: It's spelled Pawlenty.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: In addition to Daniels, Jeb Bush and Paul Ryan also said they wouldn't be running. But just as GOP leaders were despairing that no one would emerge to save them, Sarah Palin came back, saying she had, quote, "the fire in her belly."

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: There she was on Fox News talking about something in her belly that was not this time another child.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: It's like...

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: ...we thought you was gone. It's like one of those action movies, like "Alien," in which you think the villain is defeated.

Ms. SALIE: No.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: But then, Sarah Palin bursts right through Tim Pawlenty's chest.

(Soundbite of laughter and applause)

SAGAL: Which, by the way, would be the only way you can make Pawlenty interesting.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: In addition to talking about her belly fire, Ms. Plain is planning to tour the country in large bus and she is releasing a new documentary this spring about her political career, called "Undefeated."

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: That's title. That's actually, okay, that's the short version. The full title is "Undefeated: Except for that One Time."

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. BODETT: Yeah.

Ms. SALIE: But she's got good numbers, at least according to "The Drudge Report" I read today. Mitt Romney is like 17 percent and she's behind him at 15 percent.

SAGAL: But they're the only two. That comes to, like, 32 percent.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: They don't win if nobody else runs.

Mr. FELBER: A shoe came in at 12 percent.

(Soundbite of laughter and applause)

SAGAL: Here we go.

Mr. FELBER: A shoe.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: It was, however, a right shoe which was important part of clothing for Republican primary.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. BODETT: Oh, absolutely - and not a loafer.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Ms. SALIE: And not a flip-flop.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: No.

Mr. FELBER: And he's going to be a heel.

SAGAL: He - ah, yeah.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Here is your last quote.

KASELL: It has been a really tough weekend.

SAGAL: That was a man named Harold Camping. He was speaking Monday.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: He was upset that something he predicted for last Saturday night didn't happen.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Ms. FABIAN: Oh.

SAGAL: What?

Ms. FABIAN: Oh, the - oh, it's not Reformation. It's...

(Soundbite of laughter)

Ms. FABIAN: ...everybody is going up to heaven.

SAGAL: It's one of those R-words.

Mr. FELBER: What was supposed to happen?

Mr. BODETT: Reformation.

Ms. FABIAN: The Revelation?

SAGAL: Revelation, the Rapture, is that what you mean?

Ms. FABIAN: The Rapture, that's what it was.

SAGAL: It's the end of the world, we're talking about.

(Soundbite of a bell)

(Soundbite of applause)

Mr. BODETT: I thought she said Reformation.

SAGAL: I know all you guys follow the news pretty closely, so you may have noticed the world did not end on Saturday night.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: You were probably as disappointed as Mr. Camping was in this, as you were looking forward to either going to heaven or stealing the large screen TVs of those who did.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Ms. SALIE: Didn't he say that it was just fuzzy math though? Didn't he say it's going to happen this fall?

SAGAL: Yeah.

Mr. BODETT: Yeah, October.

SAGAL: This is a funny thing. I mean...

Ms. SALIE: It's going to be cold in the fall. I would rather The Rapture happened now.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. BODETT: It's sort of a slow burn rapture.

SAGAL: Here's the thing. He keeps predicting specific dates. He's done this twice before. If you include this time, he's done it a third time. He says it'll happen October, I think.

Mr. FELBER: Yeah, if anybody ever needed to learn the suffix -ish...

SAGAL: Yeah.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FELBER: ...that guy.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Laura do on our quiz?

KASELL: Laura, you played a perfect game. Three correct answers, so you win our prize.

SAGAL: Well done, Laura. Thanks so much.

(Soundbite of applause and cheering)

Ms. FABIAN: Thank you so much.

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: Thanks so much for playing.

Ms. FABIAN: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

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