Limericks Carl reads three news-related limericks: The Itch to Gamble, From Woof to Wool, and Embarrassment Is The New Black.
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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

Limericks

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Carl reads three news-related limericks: The Itch to Gamble, From Woof to Wool, and Embarrassment Is The New Black.

PETER SAGAL, host:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT, WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924. You can click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show in Nashville on June 30th.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

Professor MARC MUNEAL: Hi this Marc Muneal from Barnesville, Georgia.

SAGAL: Hey. How are things in - I don't even know where Barnesville, Georgia is.

Mr. MUNEAL: Barnesville, Georgia is about an hour and 15 minutes south of Atlanta.

SAGAL: Oh, okay. I think people are calling in this week from completely fictional places.

Mr. ADAM FELBER (Writer, "Real Time with Bill Maher"): Yeah they're making it up.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: And they're all making it up.

SAGAL: What do you do there in that supposedly real place?

Mr. MUNEAL: I'm an English professor.

SAGAL: Are you really?

Mr. MUNEAL: I am.

(Soundbite of cheering)

SAGAL: I was an English major.

Mr. MUNEAL: Oh, wonderful.

SAGAL: Thanks for nothing.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: I'm sorry, I shouldn't take it out on you. I loved it.

Marc, welcome to our show. Carl Kasell's going to read you three news-related limericks, with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two limericks, you'll be a winner. And because you are an English professor, we want you to explain their meaning.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

KASELL: Our casino brings bugs to their knees. Or the itching's too bad to appease. To earn gambling dollars Croupiers put on collars to try to get rid of those...

Mr. MUNEAL: Fleas.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: A Casino in New Zealand is battling a flea infestation. And they thought well, we could clean the place but isn't there an anti-pest solution that also dehumanizes our employees? Yes. So now casino workers are wearing flea collars.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: It's workingmaybe all too well, gamblers have found they can tip dealers with kibble...

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: ...or distract them with little laser pointers.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Here's your next limerick.

KASELL: My new sweater is nothing to flog. It's from yarn that leaves most couches clogged. My pet I do brush. For his hair is quite plush. I make wool from the hair of my...

Mr. MUNEAL: Dog.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Ever looked at your dog and thought, I would look great in that fur?

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Well, you're crazy, but you're not alone. According to a report in the Wall Street Journal, more and more knitters are making sweaters from their dog's fur. Nothing's cozierit's like having your entire torso humped by warmth.

(Soundbite of laughter)

KASELL: Could that possibly be comfortable? I mean dogs scratch all the time.

(Soundbite of laughter)

KASELL: If it itches them...

SAGAL: Only if they've been to a casino in New Zealand, but...

KASELL: Yeah.

SAGAL: All right. Here's your last limerick.

KASELL: Yes, sulking's the name of the game. That's why moody guys get all the dames. Don't come on too strong. Make them think you've done wrong cuz ladies love looks of true...

Mr. MUNEAL: Shame?

SAGAL: Right

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: You know that old saying, nice guys finish last. Well, add a new clause to that. Nice guys finish last; and guys crippled by shame finish first. According to a groundbreaking Canadian study, women are most attracted to men who exhibit obvious signs of shame - as in lowered heads and averted eyes.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: I'm doing it now so as to drive you ladies wild.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FELBER: There was a, I mean it's just like three weeks ago there was a study on this show that women were attracted to men who put their heads back when they talked, looking down their noses.

SAGAL: Right.

KASELL: I'm serious.

SAGAL: So you're supposed to put your heads back, close your eyes and invert them in shame.

KASELL: And look - Shane. Yes.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FELBER: It just sounds like being attractive is very hard on the neck.

SAGAL: Yes.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Marc do a quiz?

KASELL: Well, Marc was is correct three times, Peter. So he wins our prize.

SAGAL: Well done, sir.

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: Congratulations. Thanks so much for playing.

Mr. MUNEAL: Thanks for having me.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

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