Lightning Fill In The Blank All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.
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Lightning Fill In The Blank

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Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

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All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

PETER SAGAL, host:

SAGAL: Now, it's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

KASELL: Adam Felber and Tom Bodett are tied for first. They both have four points. Faith Salie has three.

SAGAL: All right. Faith, you are in third place, so you're going to be up first. Please fill in the blank.

Cities across the Midwest struggled to cope with a series of (BLANKS) that hit this week.

Ms. FAITH SALIE (Contributor, "CBS Sunday Morning"): Tornadoes.

SAGAL: Right on.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Thursday the Senate voted to extend three key provisions of the blank act that were due to expire.

Ms. SALIE: Patriot.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Thursday the Supreme Court upheld an Arizona law that revokes the business licenses of companies that hire blank.

Ms. SALIE: Illegal aliens.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Right. At his corruption trial on Thursday, former Illinois Governor blank took the stand in his own defense.

Ms. SALIE: Blagojevich.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: After photos surfaced showing its sales agents snorting cocaine, a German insurance company said it's not what it looks like, they were just (BLANKING).

Ms. SALIE: They were snorting salt in a Tequila drinking game.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Changing its decades old guidelines, the USDA announced that it's safe to cook blank to only 145 degrees internally.

Ms. SALIE: Pork.

SAGAL: Yes.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: During an interview with David Letterman on his show Monday night, singer blank ate Letterman's note card.

Ms. SALIE: Lady Gaga.

SAGAL: Yes.

(Soundbite of bell)

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Police in Hampshire, England, armed themselves with tranquilizer guns and got in a helicopter to chase down a blank.

Ms. SALIE: Runaway president of the United States.

SAGAL: No.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: A toy stuffed tiger.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Residents noticed a white tiger lying for hours without moving in a field near a golf course, they knew it must be an escaped killer and they feared for their lives.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: To be fair, the life sized toy plush tiger was making an especially scary growly face.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Faith do on our quiz? Pretty well, I think.

KASELL: Very well, Peter. Seven correct answers.

SAGAL: Wow.

KASELL: Fourteen more points and now that's 17 points. I'm relieved.

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: Very well done.

Ms. SALIE: Thanks.

SAGAL: We've flipped a coin. Adam is selected to go next. The Washington Post reported Thursday that Pakistan has given the CIA permission to search blank's compound.

Mr. ADAM FELBER (Writer, "Real Time with Bill Maher"): Osama bin Laden.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: A federal judge ruled Wednesday that Jared Loughner, the man charged with shooting blank, was not competent to stand trial.

Mr. FELBER: Gabby Giffords.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: On Thursday, a Wisconsin judge struck down a new law taking away almost all blank rights from state workers.

Mr. FELBER: Collective bargaining.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

Although its release was threatened by a lawsuit over the use of a copyrighted tattoo, the movie blank opened as scheduled.

Mr. FELBER: Oh, "The Hangover 2."

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: A town in Australia is offering a reward anyone who finds the rat that (BLANKED).

Mr. FELBER: Won the mayorship.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Stole a woman's false teeth.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: NFL player Hines Ward beat out actress Kirstie Alley to win this season of TV's blank.

Mr. FELBER: "Dancing with the Stars."

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: NASA announced Wednesday that it would stop trying to contact one of the rovers currently on blank.

Mr. FELBER: Mars.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: An 18 year old county Dairy Princess in Washington State will compete for the state title next month despite the fact she is BLANK.

Mr. FELBER: A vegetarian.

SAGAL: No lactose intolerant.

Mr. FELBER: Ah.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Laurel Gordon has held the county title for two years, sneaking glasses of heretical soy milk when the cameras aren't looking. But her family's in the dairy business, and she hopes the Washington State Dairy Princess crown will help her on her way to the Miss Irony USA title.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Adam do in our quiz?

KASELL: Adam had six correct answers for 12 more points. He now has 16 points but Faith Salie still has the lead with 17.

SAGAL: Oh my gosh.

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: How many then will Tom need to win?

KASELL: Seven correct answers.

SAGAL: All right, Tom. Tall order. Fill in the blank.

On Wednesday the Senate voted down a GOP budget plan that would have dramatically revamped blank.

Mr. TOM BODETT (Author and Humorist): Medicare.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Hundreds of flights in Europe were cancelled this week because of ash from an Icelandic blank.

Mr. BODETT: Volcano.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Because overcrowding violates the ban on cruel and unusual punishment, the Supreme Court ordered California to reduce its blank population.

Mr. BODETT: Prisons.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: In a speech before a joint meeting of Congress, blank said he was open to quote "painful compromises for peace."

Mr. BODETT: Benjamin Netanyahu.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: A Chicago lawyer is claiming his opponent in a small claims case is trying to influence the jury with blank at his table.

(Soundbite of bell)

Mr. BODETT: Oh, a woman with large breasts.

SAGAL: Buxom women. Yes.

(Soundbite of bell)

SI.com reported this week that Mike Brown would take over Phil Jackson's spot as the coach of the blank.

Mr. BODETT: The Lakers.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: 29.3 million viewers tuned in to see country singer Scotty McCreery win this season's blank.

(Soundbite of bell)

Mr. BODETT: Oh, the "American Idol."

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: A New Zealand truck driver who fell on a tank of compressed air was accidentally blanked.

Mr. BODETT: Oh, god. He inflated himself.

SAGAL: Yes, he did.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Ms. SALIE: Like a spleen.

SAGAL: Yeah. Yes.

Mr. BODETT: Like a spleen. He blew up like a spleen.

(Soundbite of laughter)

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: But not nearly so tasty.

Steven McCormack knew he was in trouble when he fell into the compressed air tank nozzle because quote "I was blowing up like a football. McCormack said the quick thinking of his coworkers probably saved his life, and promised to invite them to his new job, as the main attraction at this year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

(Soundbite of laughter)

(Soundbite of applause)

Mr. BODETT: He was actually rescued by a team of Oompa Loompas.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Psshh.

Mr. BODETT: (Singing) What do you get when you fall on a nozzle?

(Soundbite of laughter)

(Soundbite of applause)

Mr. BODETT: (Singing) Wait for the air to come out your schnozzle.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Carl, did Tom do well enough to win?

KASELL: Tom needed seven correct answers. He had a correct answers.

SAGAL: Well done. That's amazing.

(Soundbite of cheering)

(Soundbite of applause)

KASELL: So the total points, Tom Bodett is this week's champion.

SAGAL: I did not think that could be done. And you did it.

Mr. BODETT: Well, thank you.

SAGAL: Wow. That was awfully impressive, Tom.

Mr. BODETT: Oh, so you really didn't have to give me that point of Adam's earlier.

SAGAL: No I didn't. Yeah.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists how Oprah will spend her time now that she's not busy hosting her show.

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