Bluff The Listener Our panelists tell us three stories of new ways to toughen up your kids.
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Bluff The Listener

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Bluff The Listener

Bluff The Listener

Bluff The Listener

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Our panelists tell us three stories of new ways to toughen up your kids.

CARL KASELL, Host:

From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Kyrie O'Connor, Roy Blount, Jr., and Luke Burbank. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Thank you, Carl.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thanks, Carl. Right now, it's time for the WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-Wait-Wait to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME.

HEIDI CONRAD: Hi.

SAGAL: Hi, who's this?

CONRAD: This is Heidi Conrad from St. Charles, Missouri.

SAGAL: St. Charles, Missouri. How are things in St. Charles?

CONRAD: Great.

SAGAL: What do you do there?

CONRAD: I work for a financial services technology firm.

SAGAL: Financial service technology firm?

CONRAD: Uh-huh, exciting, huh?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You sound excited about it.

CONRAD: I wish. I am, I am.

SAGAL: Oh yeah. They might be listening. Good, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Heidi, good to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Carl, what is Heidi's topic?

KASELL: Why, when I was your age, I was opening beer bottles with my teeth.

SAGAL: I believe that children are the future. And if that's true, our future is going to be obese, lazy and good for nothing but playing Angry Birds.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But somebody is trying to do something about this. Our panelists are going to read you three stories of parents going the extra mile to toughen their kids up. Guess the real story, you'll win Carl's voice on your home answering machine or voicemail. Ready to go?

CONRAD: Yep.

SAGAL: First, let's hear from Luke Burbank.

LUKE BURBANK: It's a tradition nearly as old as summer itself, the adorably adorable children's lemonade stand. With it's charmingly substandard signage and promise of refreshment on a sweltering day. But what about the times that beverage isn't actually all that refreshing? Enter Rick Owens of Escondido, California, who's made it his mission this summer to visit every kid lemonade stand in the city and write reviews of them on Yelp.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: "Lemonade? More like stagnant pond water mixed with battery acid."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Owens wrote in one particularly biting review of a stand at 33rd and Ravenna, manned by two six-year-olds.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: "I sent the brownies back two times, to no avail. Someone must have switched the recipe with the dirt patties they'd been previously working on in the backyard."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Many local parents are upset by this, but Owens stands by his blunt writing. "These kids are going to either learn now or later that you've got to stand behind your product." Fritz Park Yelp says it's powerless to stop Owens from dishing out his brand of tough love, recommending that those offended by the reviews take the ultimate Yelp-based revenge: clicking on that button that says I did not find this review helpful.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A guy giving out Yelp reviews to lemonade stands in Escondido. Your next story of someone trying to toughen up their kids comes from Kyrie O'Connor.

KYRIE O: Olivia Dickson is pretty sure the boss is going to chew her out. She has 25 unfilled orders, 123 new emails in her inbox, an uneaten yogurt sweating on her desk, and she's late for a sales meeting. Olivia is eight.

Welcome to Office Camp aka Ant Farm, where New York kids learn the hard truths of what office life is really like.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

CONNOR: Just as mommy does at the office, Olivia sits in on deadly conference calls, faces impossible deadlines on meaningless reports, fights over the good pens in the supply closet.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

CONNOR: And has to wear spanks and three-inch heels all day.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

CONNOR: "Yesterday, I got yelled at bad for falling asleep in a meeting. But it was so boring."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

CONNOR: Olivia told the Wall Street Journal. "I cried in the restroom." Olivia's mother said she sent her daughter to drone training when Olivia learned the term business major. "I'm a project manager and there's got to be more to life than that," she said. "I want Olivia to be a filmmaker."

SAGAL: Office camp for kids. And your last story of a new way to make children stronger comes from Roy Blount, Jr.

ROY BLOUNT: Ride 'em, sheep boys and girls. The hot new sport for little kids out west, we learned this week, is rodeo with sheep, also known as mutton busting.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT: Rural youngins have always tried to ride bucking sheep, pretending they are bulls or broncos, but only lately have arenas, cheering crowds and corporate marketing been involved. Now, companies like Wool Riders Only are advancing mutton busting into the 21st century, with codified rules, special gear and interstate competition to the extent of a 16-stop tour featuring 125 staff sheep who ride in a custom double deck trailer, leading to a world finals in Fresno, California. So parents and other spectators can watch three to seven-year-old boys and girls cling to fleece for a few seconds, before the muttons bust them.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Okay, Heidi, here are your choices. From Luke Burbank, a guy giving out somewhat brutal Yelp lemonade stand reviews. From Kyrie O'Connor, office camp to show the kids what cube life is like. Or from Roy Blount, Jr., mutton busting, little kids riding sheep in rodeos. Which of these is the real story in the week's news?

CONRAD: Oh gosh.

SAGAL: Oh gosh.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

CONRAD: Is it too late to switch to the...

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That's tricky too.

CONRAD: I think I will go with number three.

SAGAL: You're going to go with the third choice, Roy's choice?

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

CONRAD: Yeah.

SAGAL: The audience approves.

CONRAD: Because it sounds the funniest.

SAGAL: Mutton busting. Well, we spoke to somebody who helps run this program for kids.

TOMMY GUY: The kids climb on the back of the sheep and we open the gate, and they try to ride for six seconds.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That was Tommy Guy-Doane. He's the owner of Wool Riders Only. It's a mutton busting organization, sheep riding for kids. Congratulations, Heidi, you got it right. Well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

CONRAD: Yay.

SAGAL: Yay, you earned a point for Roy and you've won our prize. Carl Kasell will record the greeting on your home voicemail. Thank you so much.

CONRAD: Awesome, thank you.

SAGAL: Thanks for playing. Bye-bye.

CONRAD: Bye.

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