Panel Questions Questions for the panel: Ritzy Roughing It, Haboobs, Laptop Lapdogs, and An Unlikely Export.
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Panel Questions

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Panel Questions

Panel Questions

Panel Questions

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Questions for the panel: Ritzy Roughing It, Haboobs, Laptop Lapdogs, and An Unlikely Export.

CARL KASELL, Host:

From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Roy Blount, Jr., Luke Burbank and Kyrie O'Connor. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Thank you, Carl.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much. In just a minute, Carl relaxes by watching old episodes of "Mad About You," starring Paul Rhymser.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROY BLOUNT: Oh god.

SAGAL: We're so beyond the bottom of the barrel now, we are.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888- 924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Roy, there's a new trend among kids attending camp this summer, according to the New York Times. Campers are doing what more than ever before?

BLOUNT: They're declaring bankruptcy.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

LUKE BURBANK: They're walking away from their cabins and just mailing the keys back in.

SAGAL: The cabins are underwater. All the kids are taking adjustable rate mortgages on their cabins at summer camp.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, to make this more outdoorsy though, some of the kids do ride on the wings.

BLOUNT: They fly in.

SAGAL: They fly in, yes, but on private planes.

BLOUNT: Private planes.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BLOUNT: Oh.

KYRIE O: Oh.

SAGAL: The kids are taking private planes. While getting kids to summer camp is a chore, all that driving and having to spend hours and hours ignoring your BlackBerry while your child natters on.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But nowadays, if you're rich and terrible...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: There's a solution, private plane traffic is way up as more and more kids are flying from the New York area to sleepaway camps up in New England on private planes. Sure, the kids are spoiled, but once they get there, they're just normal campers. There's nothing like sitting around the campfire watching your maid slowly roast a marshmallow for you.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT: S'mores really works for those kids.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And many kids now don't actually do arts and crafts, they become patrons of arts and crafts.

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SAGAL: Oh Bobby has a fine collection of lanyards. It's really...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's really exquisite. His taste, honestly. Luke, dust storms known as haboobs are wreaking havoc all over Arizona, and Arizonians are calling out for help. What is the big problem?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: You mean in addition to the haboobs?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well their problem is specific with the haboobs.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: They're sad their kids are learning about haboobs.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: On the streets instead of in a church or a family meeting?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, I will tell you it's because they hate the name haboob. That's the problem.

BURBANK: That was kind of my - I inadvertently answered the question.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Haboob is an Arabic term for a desert thunderstorm. But the way Arizona is treating it, the word might as well be a Mexican.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Laughing at them.

SAGAL: Yes.

BURBANK: Not with them.

SAGAL: Says one resident, "I am insulted that local TV news crews are saying haboob. How do our soldiers feel coming back and hearing some Middle Eastern term?" Meteorologists are complying with Arizonians concerns and instead of "haboobs" will be using the far more American term "habazongas."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Kyrie, computers now act as our newspapers, our TVs, our social meeting place. And now, according to one alarming new study, computers have also replaced what in our lives?

CONNOR: Does this have anything to do with our love lives?

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That happened years ago.

CONNOR: Them I'm going to need a hint.

BLOUNT: Well what were you going to say if it did have to do with it?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

BLOUNT: I don't need to know, I just wondered.

CONNOR: No, you really don't need to know.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You can see guys at Starbucks telling their laptop to stay and throwing it a treat.

CONNOR: They've become our pets.

SAGAL: They've become our dogs specifically.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

CONNOR: Our dogs?

SAGAL: Yeah, dogs. They've replaced our dogs, because dogs...

CONNOR: No, dogs are our dogs.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: For you maybe, but not for many. I mean dogs are cute and loyal, but when's the last time they showed you porn?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to...

CONNOR: Well...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

BURBANK: Have you been to the dog park?

CONNOR: The dog park is quite a randy place.

SAGAL: According to a joint poll conducted by Britain's Computeractive Magazine and their SPCA, 70 percent of adults said they rely more on their computers for companionship than their dogs. The dogs are not giving up though. A bunch of Golden Retrievers have worked out a way to bring their masters unwanted ads for Herbal Viagra.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Like see, we can do it too. Luke, good news in Kabul. Just kidding.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But there is news in Kabul.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Pretty soon Afghanistan will be getting its very own what?

BURBANK: What was the name of those storms in Arizona?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Haboobs.

BURBANK: Kabul will be getting it's own - is this something American, something that tends to be associated with the American lifestyle?

SAGAL: Actually, it is now, but it was originally British. British, then America, and many other countries, and now it's finally coming to Afghanistan.

BURBANK: The television show "The Office."

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: They're getting their own version of "The Office."

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Coming soon to Afghan TV, "The Ministry." That's the country's own version of "The Office." "The Office" has been franchised all over the world. It's been a success in France, Japan, Canada, even Germany where it's just raw security cam footage of an office.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: What will "The Ministry" be like? Well, it'll follow the office hi-jinks of Afghanistan's garbage ministry. And a lot of the classic gags we know from the shows we've seen will translate with a little Afghan tweak. Jim somehow seals Dwight's stapler in a bowl of Jello, the Dwight blows up Jim's desk.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

CONNOR: And their Dwight is going to have an opium crop.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

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