Panel Round Two Our panelists answer questions about the week's news: The Cruise From Hell.

Panel Round Two

Panel Round Two

  • Download
  • <iframe src="" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript

Our panelists answer questions about the week's news: The Cruise From Hell.


We want to remind everyone that they can join us here most weeks at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago. For tickets and more information, you can go to and you can find a link at our website,

You can also find out about our upcoming cinema event. If you thought "The Hobbit" was too long and left you feeling nauseous, well then get ready for the live WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! movie on May 2nd, in a theater near you.


SAGAL: Right now, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Brian, passengers on the Carnival cruse ship the Triumph are complaining about conditions. What is wrong on that love boat?

BRIAN BABYLON: Man, it's no love, Peter.


BABYLON: No love. It was stranded and broken.


BABYLON: And the worst vacation ever.

SAGAL: Pretty much that's the answer.



SAGAL: The answer is everything.


SAGAL: Everything is wrong on that cruise ship.

BABYLON: The buffet was horrible.

SAGAL: Well what happened was is they had an engine fire in the middle of the Caribbean that knocked out power for the ship and it left it drifting. They couldn't use the toilets because those are powered toilets. The sewage system backed up. There was broken air conditioning. It made the whole thing not so much a balloon and cotton candy type carnival cruise and more of a carnies eating your baby carnival cruise.


SAGAL: Really, it's the equivalent of vacationing in the men's room at Fenway Park.


BABYLON: Oh, man.

SAGAL: The trip was so bad that the passengers sort of gathered in the railing and just started looking out to sea, shouting "iceberg, iceberg, iceberg."


BABYLON: But this happens like every year there is always...

SAGAL: Every few years there's a cruise ship disaster.

BABYLON: ...there's a cruise thing and then you see there's big deals on cruises.

SAGAL: But think...

LUKE BURBANK: Well, because it turns out you shouldn't be able to bowl at sea. You know what I mean? Like we've created this environment that's like all the comforts of Akron but in the middle of the water.




BURBANK: And they're lovely when they're working, but it's, you know, it takes a lot of magic to make that thing happen. And as soon as one little bit of the magic starts to break down, you realize that you're basically in "Lord of the Flies."

SAGAL: Exactly.


BABYLON: Literally, lord of the flies in this case.

SAGAL: Yeah, I know.

BURBANK: I don't know why CNN missed the best headline they could have done which was "Total Ship Show."


BURBANK: I didn't see that one time.



Copyright © 2013 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.