Panel Round Two More questions for the panel: Hug-E-Boy; Second Best Man; How To Stop A Goldfishdigger.
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Panel Round Two

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Panel Round Two

Panel Round Two

Panel Round Two

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  • <iframe src="" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
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More questions for the panel: Hug-E-Boy; Second Best Man; How To Stop A Goldfishdigger.

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis and we are playing this week with Faith Salie, Charlie Pierce and Paula Poundstone. Here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.



Thank you Bill. In just a minute, Bill kills you with the rhymes. He's the lim reaper. Look, you knew what you were in for when you came.


SAGAL: In our Listener Limerick Challenge - if you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions from you from the week's news.

Paula, Japanese designers have come up with an all-new kind of armchair. We've seen chairs that recline before, but this one does what?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: I don't know - drives you to the kitchen?

SAGAL: No. I'll give you a hint - this, like a number of other products we've noticed from Japan, are marketed for lonely people.

KURTIS: Uh-oh.

POUNDSTONE: It shoots out of the house, the door flies open and it takes you towards another person in a chair.


SAGAL: Like the chairs speeding towards each other? No.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, it's attracted to other lonely people in chairs.

SAGAL: No. That would be useful.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, there's a big cluster down at town center.

SAGAL: Yeah.

CHARLIE PIERCE: A four recliner pileup at the intersection.

SAGAL: I'll give you a...

POUNDSTONE: The sad thing is there's millions of lonely people in chairs, so it'd be like tons of people. There'd be only four or five people left in their homes.


SAGAL: All give you a hint - well, it's an armchair. It might as well use its arms.

POUNDSTONE: It hugs you.

SAGAL: It hugs you.


PIERCE: Thank God.

POUNDSTONE: That is horrible. It's horrible. It should take you down the street to other lonely people.

SAGAL: It's called the tranquility chair - that's a weird name. Maybe they should call it the sudden terror chair. It's designed to look like an oversized man wearing jeans and a hat.

FAITH SALIE: Oh, that's creepy.

SAGAL: When you sit in it, it kind of wraps its arms around you in a hug. You could save a thousand dollars and just sit on an oversized man with jeans and a hat.

POUNDSTONE: Well, there'd be two less lonely people in the world. Maybe it can do the Heimlich?

PIERCE: Can you like custom order your own chair? 'Cause I don't want to sit in Mr. Green Jeans' lap, let alone get hugged by him.

SAGAL: Some people find it comforting.

SALIE: Would you feel better with a very large woman hugging you? Can you calibrate how strong you want your hug to be?

SAGAL: That's a good question, you should. It should be like, you know, with one of those control panels like the Barcaloungers have.

SALIE: How lonely am I?



SAGAL: Paula, a recent survey conducted by the Daily Mail in England found that half of all women have already selected a backup in case their what fails or stops working?


SAGAL: Yes, exactly right.


SAGAL: The Daily Mail reported 50 percent of married women have mentally selected a backup husband. Half the woman are laughing here, half the woman are going, how did they find out?


SAGAL: In case their marriage goes sour or their current husband stops booting up properly and just starts displaying an error message. According to the Daily Mail, most of the backup husbands are chosen from three specific groups. They're either ex-boyfriends, current platonic friends, or Ryan Goslings.


SAGAL: And if you're the backup husband, right...

PIERCE: Who took the poll, by the way?

SAGAL: It was the Daily Mail.

POUNDSTONE: I don't answer poll questions over the phone anymore, by the way. So when they call - I answer my phone most of the time like this - I don't want to do a poll and I don't have any money. That's how I answer my phone. And 90 percent of the time, it would be one of - that's who's calling.

SAGAL: Really?

POUNDSTONE: So these people who answer the polling questions - I'm not sure they're really the cross-section that were looking for.


SAGAL: People willing to answer their phones?

SALIE: So how do you feel if you learn you're the backup husband?

SAGAL: Well, I imagine it depends on how you find out.

POUNDSTONE: I don't think you share it with them.


SALIE: Do men choose backup wives?

SAGAL: I wouldn't say the word wife so much.


SAGAL: If you know what I mean.

SAGAL: Faith, prenuptial agreements have long been used by rich people to ensure their spouse doesn't get all their money with a divorce. Now a U.K. charity has come up with a prenup specifically for what?

SALIE: Can I have a hint?

SAGAL: It's a good thing Paula's single 'cause she has a lot of these.

SALIE: Cats? Pets?

SAGAL: Yes, pets.


PIERCE: That makes sense.

SAGAL: The petnup ensures your ex doesn't get the dog in the event of a breakup. It's a smart plan until now couples have had to divide their pets in half, meaning you might end up with the un-cute part.


SAGAL: But here's the thing - all right, now this does make sense 'cause we all know couples have had fights about their pets. It can get very unpleasant. But when do you bring up - you're in love, you want to get married, but honey, I just want to sign a prenup with you about our pets.

POUNDSTONE: I think you'd bring it up when you mention the backup husband.


SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: Let's just get everything out on the table right here. You're not getting the cats, and you're not really the guy I want.


SAGAL: Other than that, darling, I love you. Are there people who marry other people just to get their hands on their pets?

POUNDSTONE: No question.

SAGAL: Really?

POUNDSTONE: Yeah. Oh, there are people after me all the time.

SAGAL: I was about to say, is that why you're resolutely single, Paula? Because you don't want people to get their hands on your - how many cats?

POUNDSTONE: I have 16 cats. I'll tell you, what I wouldn't do to get somebody to take some of those cats.


POUNDSTONE: I don't even like sex, but I would make a rare exception to the rule.


POUNDSTONE: I sift litter boxes four times a day.

SALIE: Paula, why do you have 16 cats then?

POUNDSTONE: Oh, I thought you were going to say why do I sift four times a day?

SALIE: No, why did you accumulate 16 cats? How?

POUNDSTONE: 'Cause I had 15 and I got one more.


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