Lightning Fill In The Blank All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/439736847/439763274" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game - Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can - each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Roxanne has three. Paula has three. Faith has two.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh. Faith, you're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, President Obama directed his administration to accept 10,000 refugees displaced by the conflict in blank.

FAITH SALIE: Syria.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Senate Democrats successfully cleared the way for the blank deal.

SALIE: Iran.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new expose by ESPN, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell helped cover up blank's massive spying ring.

SALIE: Oh, the Patriots.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Jeb Bush and George Clooney were among the first guests this week on blank's new late show.

SALIE: Stephen Colbert.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The U.S. military admitted this week that it may have mishandled the organism that causes blank.

SALIE: Oh, Agent - Agent Orange?

SAGAL: No, the plague.

SALIE: Oh.

SAGAL: Over 30 students at the West Point Academy were injured this month when the - when the annual blank went awry.

SALIE: Pillow fight.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Every year, the Military Academy at West Point allows its freshmen students to unwind with a class-wide pillow fight. This year, however, things got a little out of hand, and the pillow fight ended when 30 students wound up requiring medical attention. It was less "Black Hawk Down" and more White Goose Down.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Faith got five right for 10 more points. She now has 12 and the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We flipped a coin, and Roxanne has elected to go last. So Paula, you are up next. At an event on Wednesday, blank unveiled the latest version of the iPhone.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Oh, Apple.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Environmentalists were outraged when it was announced that Fox was buying blank magazine for $725 million.

POUNDSTONE: Outdoor Life.

SAGAL: No, National Geographic.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, silly me.

SAGAL: A study found that the drug Truvada is 100 percent effective in preventing blank transmission.

POUNDSTONE: AIDs.

SAGAL: Yes, HIV.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Over 100,000 people have evacuated their homes as heavy flooding continues to plague blank.

POUNDSTONE: Japan.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new report, it's more expensive to rent a studio apartment in San Francisco than it is to rent a blank.

POUNDSTONE: Bentley.

SAGAL: A seven-bedroom castle in France.

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the city council of Sao Paulo voted to ban ridesharing app service blank.

POUNDSTONE: Uber.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Criminals convicted of minor offenses in Iran are now being offered a choice between jail time and blanking.

POUNDSTONE: And - minor offenses - having their genitalia cut off.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Writing a book report, Paula.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A new law...

POUNDSTONE: If you're not a good student, it's the same thing.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A new law lets judges in Iran come up with creative alternatives to prison - a month of hard labor, a two-week stay in Flemington, N.J., and one judge has started assigning book reports. First-time offenders and those convicted of minor crimes are given a list of books and are required to write reports on five of them. For very-severe offenders, one of them is "A Separate Peace."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, she got four right. That means she has eight more points, for a total of 11, but Faith still has the lead.

POUNDSTONE: Faith's in the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SALIE: Not for long.

SAGAL: How many, then, does Roxanne, who has two cats - how many does she need to beat Faith, who has none?

POUNDSTONE: Wait a minute, don't you get extra points for having cats?

(LAUGHTER)

ROXANNE ROBERTS: That means you've got 15 extra...

POUNDSTONE: I won this thing when I sat down.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Roxanne only needs five more points...

ROBERTS: Oh, boy...

KURTIS: ...So we'll count 'em off.

ROBERTS: ...That depends...

SAGAL: Here we go. This is for the game, Roxanne. On Monday, the family of Freddie Gray was awarded a $6.4 million settlement with the city of blank.

ROBERTS: Baltimore.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Labor Day, President Obama signed an executive order providing federal contractors seven days of paid blank leave.

ROBERTS: Sick leave.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Queen Elizabeth II claimed the record as Britain's blank.

ROBERTS: Longest-reigning monarch.

SAGAL: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Pope Francis announced new reforms to make it easier for married Catholics to obtain blanks.

ROBERTS: Annulments.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Vermont reported that a man they caught driving 112 miles per hour in a 45 mile-per-hour zone was on his way to blank.

ROBERTS: To pay speeding tickets.

SAGAL: Exactly, a traffic court.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Serena Williams defeated blank to advance to the semifinals of the U.S. Open.

ROBERTS: Venus Williams.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Kansas State University's marching band was forced to pay a $5,000 fine after making a formation that looked like a 50-yard-long blank.

ROBERTS: Penis.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Kansas State's marching band says they were just trying to depict their rival's mascot doing battle with the Starship Enterprise.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Why they wanted to do that, no one knows.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And they accidentally, as the Enterprise moved to attack, created what looked like a giant 50-yard phallus on the field.

POUNDSTONE: That's - what - who is in charge that a decision like that gets made? And people - you know, that - there's a lot of planning involved in a thing like that.

SAGAL: To put it mildly.

POUNDSTONE: You know, you have to go, like, OK, trumpets - no, over there, over there. And they have to sketch it up - that's absurd.

SAGAL: It's like no...

POUNDSTONE: How could that get through so many steps without somebody...

SAGAL: Yeah, I can imagine the bandleader going no, no, no, he's not Jewish. Move over.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Roxanne got seven right, 14 more points, a total of 17 and a big win for Roxanne.

POUNDSTONE: There it is.

SAGAL: Thank you, Roxanne. Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We saw that one coming a mile away.

Copyright © 2015 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.