Panel Round Two
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT… DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. And here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
SAGAL: Thank you so much. On WAIT WAIT…, we like to bring you the news you can use, especially in your personal life. So here was 2015's coverage of love, WAIT WAIT… style.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED BROADCAST)
SAGAL: P.J., a company in St. Louis is helping single people avoid awkward questions at family gatherings or at other situations by allowing them to go online and using their online app or the app on their phone to create and commute with what?
O'ROURKE: Gee, you can create an avatar that will...
SAGAL: No, no. You go home, say, to visit your parents. And they're like so, when are you going to meet a nice girl?
SAGAL: And you're tired of the question, so you go online and what do you do?
O'ROURKE: It will give you responses for those questions and speak them out loud?
SAGAL: Yes. Hang on a second mom - beep, beep, beep, beep. None of your damn business.
O'ROURKE: You go for it. Alonzo, you go for it.
SAGAL: P.J. defers to Alonzo.
ALONZO BODDEN: A fake boyfriend or girlfriend or significant other.
SAGAL: Exactly right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: It will create a fake significant other.
SAGAL: Let's say you're somebody who's just too shy or, you know, just too invested in your career in public broadcasting to have a relationship. Well...
SAGAL: Well, the app will provide you with text conversations, voicemails from your made up significant other and actual letters to, quote, "give you the real world social proof you're in a relationship," unquote. So when your mom asks you when she can meet your girlfriend, you just say that's not possible without a significant extra charge, mom.
SAGAL: So just look at these texts from her on my phone.
FAITH SALIE: What's the app called, I'm Not Gay?
SAGAL: Yeah, well...
SAGAL: Alonzo, as you know, Kickstarter and Indiegogo, those are the websites where you go for funding when you have a great idea that no one would actually want. Now a man, though, is using Indiegogo to raise money to pay for what?
BODDEN: His Kickstarter campaign?
SAGAL: That would be brilliant but no.
BODDEN: Give me a hint. Give me something.
SAGAL: I'll give you a hint. Well, your donation pays for dinner, a movie and two separate cab rides home.
BODDEN: Oh, for his dating?
SAGAL: Yes. He went to Indiegogo to raise money so he can go out on dates.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
BODDEN: But couldn't he just go to the app and get the fake date...
BODDEN: ...And just - I don't know - stay home, smoke some weed and eat some pizza. I just...
SAGAL: He wants to raise $2,400 to pay for several dates for him and to be determined and to-be-disappointed women.
SAGAL: The guy mentions he loves thunderstorms, fine film and he has all these adorable pictures of himself with sleeveless vests so you can see his sleeve of tats and his beard and his Warby Parker glasses and his little biker cap. And the only problem with this whole thing after watching it is it's so difficult to send him a donation when you've already punched a hole through your computer.
BODDEN: Has anyone donated?
SAGAL: That is a good question. He's got about $500, but the competing Indiegogo to have him sterilized has raised $2,000.
SAGAL: Tom, paleontologists in Israel believe they have found the cave where humans and Neanderthals first did what?
O'ROURKE: It's illegal in Alabama, I'll tell you that.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
TOM BODETT: Humans and Neanderthals - this is in Israel?
SAGAL: Well, they found it in Israel.
BODETT: Oh, negotiated the boundary in Jerusalem.
SAGAL: No, no.
SAGAL: This happened a long time ago prior to modern political issues.
BODETT: Oh, well, mated?
SAGAL: Yes, exactly right...
SAGAL: ...Got it on...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...As the paleontologists say.
BODETT: They found the interspecies love nest in Israel.
SAGAL: They did - 55,000 years after what was surely a magical night, scientists believe they found the exact place where humans and Neanderthals first hooked up. Researchers...
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Wait.
BODETT: This is when early man was just like - they were slumming. They were totally just like out, you now? They're like sailors in port, you know. Come on. Come on.
O'ROURKE: I am so betting beer was involved.
SAGAL: This may have been prior to beer.
ROBERTS: Do we know the Neanderthal was the boy?
SAGAL: No, I don't think we know that.
SAGAL: If you think about it, you realize that the human must have been the boy because a boy will sleep with anything.
ROBERTS: Well, it could have been...
SAGAL: God, you have the most beautiful brow ridge.
SAGAL: Bobcat, tough news this week for anyone out there dating someone named Megan or Nathan. According to a new study, Megans and Nathans are most likely to do what?
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: They most likely will cheat.
SAGAL: That's exactly right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
GOLDTHWAIT: Yes, I...
SAGAL: Did you know this?
GOLDTHWAIT: Yes, I - I'm not speaking with Nathan at all.
SAGAL: It's possible right now that some of you out there are dating Nathan, possible that some of you are dating the same Nathan. According to a dating website survey of 2,000 men and 2,000 women, people named Nathan and Megan were the most unfaithful. How unfaithful are Nathans and Megans - 1,999 of the 2,000 men surveyed were dating the same Megan.
ADAM FELBER: Wow.
SAGAL: But what about a couple named Nathan and Megan? What if Nathan and Megan are dating each other? On the line with us now are Nathan Lovin and Megan Modafferi. They're getting married this summer. Hello, Nathan and Megan.
MEGAN MODAFFERI: Hello.
NATHAN LOVIN: Hey there.
SAGAL: How are you guys? So Nathan and Megan, you're getting married. When you heard about this survey showing that Nathans and Megans are the mostly to cheat, were you shocked or did you say to yourself, they found out?
MODAFFERI: (Laughter) You know, we were a little surprised. But I think we're both glad that at least we're both the same level of bad.
SAGAL: You're a nice fit.
GOLDTHWAIT: That's the key to any successful relationship.
SAGAL: Yeah. Are you guys going - when you get married, are you going to try to fight your essential Megan-Nathan natures or you're just going to give into it?
MODAFFERI: What do you think, Nate?
LOVIN: We'll probably just write it into the vows and...
SAGAL: I like that. It's like 'til death or someone hotter do we part.
FELBER: It's the only set of vows with extensive footnotes.
SAGAL: But Nathan, I have to say if a guy named Nathan is more statistically likely to cheat, a guy with your name, Nathan Lovin - it's an absolute certainty.
SALIE: Slam dunk.
LOVIN: Right, I was wondering why it took you so long to get there.
SAGAL: Do you feel that with a name like Nathan Lovin, you have to live up to that?
LOVIN: Yeah, probably.
MODAFFERI: Well, he's getting his Ph.D., aspiring to become Dr. Lovin, so...
SALIE: So good.
GOLDTHWAIT: Yes. Yes.
SAGAL: They call him Dr. Lovin. He's got the cure, you're thinkin' oven.
SAGAL: Nathan and Megan, thank you so much for talking and good luck...
SALIE: Good luck.
SAGAL: ...Because, as we know, you're going to need it.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "JUST THE TWO OF US")
BILL WITHERS: (Singing) Just the two of us, we can make it if we try. Just the two of us, just the two of us.
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