Panel Round Two
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON’T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Mo Rocca, Roxanne Roberts and Maz Jobrani. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill looks ahead to the South Carolina rhymary (ph) in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now panel, some more questions for you guys from the week's news. Mo, sugar rots your teeth, makes you fat. Artificial sweeteners give you cancer. Well, what else, as it turns out, is very bad for you?
MO ROCCA: Water. No, what else is really bad?
SAGAL: Actually, you're right. I'm going to give it to you.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: It's carbonated water, seltzer...
ROCCA: Oh, no...
SAGAL: ...Is bad for you.
ROCCA: What's Bernie Sanders going to do?
SAGAL: I don't know.
SAGAL: So everything that is actually good to drink has been taken away from us. Soda is too sweet, diet soda too laden with chemicals. And if we whiskey at work one more time we'll get fired.
SAGAL: But at least we have seltzer, right? Sure, it has no flavor, but at the little bubbles reminded us we could still feel something.
SAGAL: Sorry, the bubbles in seltzer are created by carbonic acid, which rots your tooth enamel. So if you go ahead and drink that six-pack of LaCroix, you'll end up looking like an old bum anyway without the benefit of getting drunk most of the time.
MAZ JOBRANI: Does this include Perrier and all those guys?
SAGAL: Yeah, all those guys...
JOBRANI: Oh, man.
SAGAL: ...Especially those minerals...
SAGAL: Apparently, yeah.
ROCCA: I'll take flat water.
JOBRANI: I knew how privileged my kids were when I heard my 7-year-old son say my favorite sparkling water is Pellegrino.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Really?
JOBRANI: I said, wow, you have choices of sparkling water. Congratulations, young man.
JOBRANI: He likes - now I've got to stop the Pellegrino. I didn't know this.
SAGAL: You are a terrible father.
JOBRANI: I know.
SAGAL: Maz, McDonald's in Canada has introduced a new entree that is even worse for you, according to nutritional experts, than a Double Big Mac. What is it?
JOBRANI: Wow, I didn't even know we had a Double Big Mac.
SAGAL: There is a Double Big Mac, at least up in Canada.
JOBRANI: They put two Big Macs together?
SAGAL: Yeah because, you know...
JOBRANI: That was - that must've been a big idea day. Some guy goes, we got a Big Mac...
SAGAL: Oh, yeah...
JOBRANI: ...We're going Double Big Mac.
JOBRANI: I like it.
SAGAL: And I say we do two and to hell with them.
JOBRANI: Give me a hint.
SAGAL: Well, the croutons - they're little individual chicken McNuggets, apparently.
JOBRANI: The croutons - so it's chicken Caesar with chicken croutons?
SAGAL: It's a - well, what is a chicken Caesar...
SAGAL: We're looking for a...
JOBRANI: Chicken Caesar salad.
SAGAL: A salad, yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: It is a salad. Specifically, it is a kale salad. It is actually, as far as we know, the first introduction of kale into a McDonald's menu. Kale, if you're not familiar, is a leafy green that white people eat to punish themselves for the whole Oscars thing.
SAGAL: Now that I think of it, if you are not familiar with kale, how are you listening to NPR right now?
SAGAL: We are glad to have you here, but you are clearly lost.
ROCCA: Kale and quinoa are the twin pillars...
SAGAL: I know.
ROCCA: ...Of NPR.
SAGAL: That's where we get our strength. Anyway, McDonald's Canada unveiled their new kale salad - sounds healthy. But it's like a Trojan horse sneaking fat and calories into your body, except horse tastes better.
SAGAL: The new crispy chicken Caesar salad with kale has more calories, salt and fat than a Double Big Mac, meaning Canadian kale eaters, you're going to have to get even bigger yoga pants.
JOBRANI: Well, I like how they put the bad - the name of the salad at the front.
JOBRANI: It's a bad salad with kale.
SAGAL: With kale.
JOBRANI: You go oh, OK, there's a possibility it might be good, healthy.
SAGAL: Well, kale has become what bran used to be, say, 20 years go. It has kale, it must be good for you.
JOBRANI: Right, so it's like saying cocaine with bran.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "ALL ABOUT THAT BASS")
MEGHAN TRAINOR: Because you know I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble. I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble. I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble. I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, bass, bass, bass, bass. Yeah, it's pretty clear, I ain't no size two.
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