Lightning Fill In The Blank All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.
NPR logo

Lightning Fill In The Blank

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/472716938/472797664" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript
Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/472716938/472797664" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can - each correct answer now worth 2 points. Bill, can you please give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Alonzo has 1. Amy has 3 and Adam has 4.

AMY DICKINSON: Whoa.

ADAM FELBER: What?

SAGAL: Here's the good news, Alonzo - you're in third place so you get to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, the FBI announced that they had unlocked the San Bernardino shooter's blank.

ALONZO BODDEN: Iphone.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new report published in the journal Nature concluded that blanks could rise up to 6 feet by the end of the century?

BODDEN: Water levels?

SAGAL: Yeah, sea levels.

BODDEN: Water levels.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Fidel Castro criticized blank's trip to Cuba.

BODDEN: Barack Obama.

SAGAL: Right, exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In Las Vegas, fans who paid $2000 to meet Justin Bieber instead got to meet blank.

BODDEN: His publicist?

SAGAL: No, ay cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber.

(GROANS)

FELBER: How could they tell?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, California put itself on track to be the first state to offer a $15 blank.

BODDEN: Minimum wage.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A British women vacationing in Portugal had to be saved by a...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Local fisherman after she blanked.

BODDEN: Drowned while fishing? I don't know.

SAGAL: No, she missed her cruise ship's departure and tried to swim for it.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: They look like they're going slow.

SAGAL: The 65-year-old woman who was on a cruise with her husband had disembarked in the city of Funchal to do some shopping, as one does. But when she got back to the dock, the cruise had already set sail toward Lisbon. Undeterred, she dove into the ocean and swam for it. At about 1,500 feet from shore, she was picked up by a local fisherman and brought to the hospital for fatigue and hypothermia, which isn't nearly as bad as what she would've caught if she had just made it back to the cruise ship.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Now, they're sure the husband had nothing to do with it?

SAGAL: Nothing to do with it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, she's back. I'm sure of it. Let's go, captain.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz today?

KURTIS: He got four right, 8 more points. He's in the lead right now with 9.

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, Amy, you are up next. Here we go, fill in the blank. This week, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker endorsed blank for president.

DICKINSON: Ted Cruz?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, a 4-4 tie in the Supreme Court upheld blank fees.

DICKINSON: Blockbuster late fees?

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Union fees. According to a report from the U.S. Geological Survey, thanks to drilling, Oklahoma is as prone to blank as California.

DICKINSON: Earthquakes.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the governor of Virginia vetoed a bill that would defund blank.

DICKINSON: Planned Parenthood?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, a misspelled Easter sign at a church in England proclaimed blank.

DICKINSON: He - he isn't risen?

SAGAL: No, it proclaimed Chris is risen.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Oh, it was so close.

SAGAL: You were. This week, Syracuse became the first number-10 seed to ever reach the Final Four of the blank.

DICKINSON: Of the NCAA basketball - wooo...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

DICKINSON: And the women - yeah. Sorry.

SAGAL: It's OK.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Thursday, five members of the U.S. women's national soccer team accused the sport's governing body of blank.

DICKINSON: Like, pay disparity.

SAGAL: Yeah, wage...

DICKINSON: Yeah.

SAGAL: ...Discrimination, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Runners at a marathon in China were given what they thought were energy bars...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...But quickly discovered that they were blank.

DICKINSON: They were diarrhea-making bars.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: I went there.

FELBER: Did you outsource that one to my 3-year-old?

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, they were given bars of soap.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Oh.

SAGAL: So I don't know if you've ever run a race or a marathon, but you finish and they start handing you all these treats and snacks to replenish your fuel. And they handed out these energy bars. And the runners opened them up and took big bites of them. And it turns out they were in fact bars of soap.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The organizers apologized for the switch and promised that next year, they'll make sure the soap is chocolate and peanut butter flavored.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Amy do on our quiz?

KURTIS: So she got five right, 10 more points. So she pulls ahead with 13 into the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done.

DICKINSON: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right then, how many does Adam need to win?

KURTIS: He needs five to win.

SAGAL: Here we go, fill in the blank. This week, the Taliban took credit for the Easter bombing in blank.

FELBER: Pakistan.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the governor of Georgia vetoed a bill that would allow businesses to deny service to blank.

FELBER: Gay people.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Secret Service announced it was banning blanks from the GOP National Convention.

FELBER: Guns. Why?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Texas man pursued by police was forced to rethink his escape plan when he hid from the cops in what turned out to be blank.

FELBER: A police car.

SAGAL: An alligator-infested lake.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, hundreds of people lined up in order to be the first to order blank's newest electric car.

FELBER: Tesla.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Best known for her Oscar-winning role in "The Miracle Worker" and for her eponymous show, actress blank passed away at 69.

FELBER: Patty Duke.

SAGAL: Indeed...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...And her identical cousin. The day after Met's pitcher Matt Harvey missed a Spring Training game due to a bladder infection...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...The New York Post ran the headline blank.

FELBER: No P (ph).

SAGAL: No. They ran the headline You've Got To Relieve.

FELBER: Oh, that's good.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Yeah.

SAGAL: They also ran a lot of others, but how about Field Of Streams?

FELBER: Now that's good.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Yeah, that's very good.

DICKINSON: Oh...

BODDEN: That would work.

DICKINSON: That's great, yeah.

FELBER: That's absolutely a good one.

SAGAL: Bill...

FELBER: Oh, I've got one for the Post should have gone with.

SAGAL: (Laughter) Yes, Adam.

FELBER: He's Out - Urine (ph).

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

FELBER: (Unintelligible).

SAGAL: Adam, he's first in our hearts. But is he, in fact, this week, first in the score?

KURTIS: Adam squeezed out a win with 14.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

BODDEN: Good thing you trickled in that last one.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, I'm going to write a letter complaining about us.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, it's true. Adam is number one. But now...

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

FELBER: I am flushed with victory.

SAGAL: In just a bit, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be a surprising use of that new virtual reality technology that came out this week.

WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircut Productions - Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philipp Goedicke writes our limericks. Our house manager is Don Hall. Our assistant house manager is Tyler Greene. Our intern is Isabell Biv Devoe Robertson (ph). Our web guru is Beth Novey. Special thanks to Gary Yak this week and the crew at Chase Bank. B.J. Leiderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Miles Doornbos. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Ann Nguyen. Our production coordinator is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is Mike Danforth.

Copyright © 2016 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.