Bluff the Listener
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON’T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. And we are playing this week with Tom Bodett, Peter Grosz and Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. Right now...
SAGAL: ...We've been waiting for it, it's the WAIT WAIT... DON’T TELL ME...
SAGAL: ...Bluff The Listener Game. Give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play ourgame of the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON’T TELL ME.
MELISSA MCNALLY-COSTELLO: Hi this is Melissa McNally-Costello (ph).
SAGAL: Hey, where are you calling from, Marissa?
MCNALLY-COSTELLO: Boston, Mass.
SAGAL: Hey, Boston Massachusetts, I love it. Where do you live in Boston?
MCNALLY-COSTELLO: Charlestown, right across from the Bunker Hill Monument.
SAGAL: Oh, that's exciting. Now, we have seen a number of movies of late about Charlestown. And according to those movies, you just live in a crime-ridden area filled with charming but evil men with thick Boston accents. Is that the case?
MCNALLY-COSTELLO: Yes, but now there's a Whole Foods.
SAGAL: Well, nice to have you with us, Marissa. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Marissa's topic?
KURTIS: Vroom, vroom.
SAGAL: Volkswagen, of course, had diesel-gate, Hyundai had the you-got-seen-driving-a-Hyundai-gate. But there's another automotive scandal out there this week you may not have heard of. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth, you'll win our prize - Carl Kasell's voice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
SAGAL: Let's do it. Let's first hear from Tom Bodett.
TOM BODETT: Tesla electric car mogul Elon Musk is rich, famous, not ugly and a man with vision. He is also, as it turns out, a man with a distinctive odor, an odor that we can now all enjoy. When Tesla shoppers began registering disappointment that the space-age Tesla cars lacked that compelling on-the-lot new-car smell - in fact, they're so environmentally sterile, they lack any smell at all, Elon Musk had the solution. "People are always telling me that I smell good," said Musk. "I wear no colognes, use no fragrant soaps. It is simply my natural pheromones. It is why beautiful women adore me and men want to wear shoes like mine. So why not have my cars smell as good as their creator?" With no one in his world willing to give an answer to that, the new Model 3 Tesla comes with a factory-installed air scent called - yes - Elon Musk.
BODETT: For customers already driving their odorless Teslas, or even those of you with a family-ravaged Subaru in need of a smell overhaul, the Elon Musk dispenser is available as an aftermarket add-on. Elon Musk - hey, you smell good.
SAGAL: The Elon Musk musk from Tesla's...
SAGAL: From Tom Bodett. Your next story of carmaker controversy comes from Paula Poundstone.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Toyota has not issued an official recall to what has been dubbed the public radio syndrome - the mysterious behavior of some Toyota Prius's radios whose tuners mysteriously gravitate towards public radio stations regardless of what stations users have programmed them to. Complaints have been far and wide. "I have followed the directions in the manual to reset my radio a hundred times. I just want to hear Beyonce sing. I hear Lakshmi Singh.
POUNDSTONE: "I only got a Prius to avoid gas stations," says Renee McCraw of Fairfax, Va. "But I would rather drink gasoline than hear one more in-depth story on the plight of the silkworm rancher."
POUNDSTONE: Paul Matlock of Somerville, Mass., enjoys listening to the Celtics games on the radio on a Sunday. "So I'm trying to listen to the Celtics. It's one of the few pleasures of my life, I swear to God. I turn a corner, and I hear Peter Sagal talking about some [expletive] study on wait wait do I care...
POUNDSTONE: ...Or whatever the name of the thing is."
POUNDSTONE: "I'm banging on the dashboard trying to fix this stupid tuner. I was happy as could be listening to WLUV play Trisha Yearwood's entire "Heaven, Heartache And The Power Of Love Album."
POUNDSTONE: "And all of a sudden I hear someone asking questions of a musician who plays a one-stringed instrument. They talked about all the years it took to learn to play it."
POUNDSTONE: "It's a one-stringed instrument."
POUNDSTONE: "How long could it take to learn," says Nancy Ross of Quartz Mountain, Okla. Toyota is offering complimentary servicing. "We are not sure how this happened," says Toyota CEO you to CEO Akio Toyoda. But we sincerely apologize to our customers, especially during pledge week.
SAGAL: So that happened...
SAGAL: ...(Laughter) And your next story of somebody's wheels coming off comes from Peter Grosz.
PETER GROSZ: As we all know, history is filled with heroes who bravely fought injustice, stood up and spoke when others were silent - people like Rosa Parks, Norma Rae, Spartacus. But none of these freedom fighters can claim they stopped someone from taking too many sausages from a buffet. This weekend, an annual shareholders meeting of Daimler Auto Group in Germany, a man was spotted getting greedy at the buffet line, piling sausage upon sausage onto his plate, allegedly to take home with him. Apparently he applies the same theory to sausages that your grandmother does to dinner rolls at Denny's - eat a few now, put a few dozen in your bag for later. Fortunately, a hero rose from the crowd ready to challenge this dastardly meat hoarder - a lone woman who protested stood up for the good of humanity and prevented the man from taking more than his fair share of tubed meats. This epic confrontation of good versus evil soon exploded into a shouting match that completely derailed the meeting and forced company officials to call the police to break it up. Now, while the woman may have won the victory for sausage equality, in a cruel twist, the losers might turn out to be her fellow shareholders. Daimler Chairman Manfred Bischoff released a grim warning for future meetings, saying, quote, "either we need more sausages or we have to get rid of the sausages entirely." And no German wants to look forward to a sausage-less future.
GROSZ: "In fact," says Hans Holsen," head of Daimler's horrible pun division, "that would really be the wurst-case scenario.
SAGAL: All right...
SAGAL: So here are your three stories...
SAGAL: ...Troubling the automotive world. Is it from Tom Bodett, Elon Musk making his cars smell with his musk, from Paula Poundstone, how Prius's were forcing their drivers to listen to public radio, or from Peter Grosz, how a fight over sausages broke out at a Daimler Auto Group shareholders meeting in Germany?
MCNALLY-COSTELLO: I am going to guess that it is the sausage-equality story.
SAGAL: All right, you have chosen then Peter's story of the sausage fest - I mean fight - at Daimler Motor Company. Well, to find out the correct answer, here's a spokesperson for the car company in question.
SILKA WALTERS: (Ph) There was one shareholder taking many sausages. Another shareholder saying it's not OK to take those sausages home with them.
SAGAL: That was Silka Walters (ph). She is a spokesperson for Daimler. Congratulations, you got it right. You earned a point for Peter Grosz. You've won our prize - Carl Kasell recording a greeting on your voicemail. Well done, Marissa.
MCNALLY-COSTELLO: Thank you so much.
SAGAL: Thank you.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "DRIVE MY CAR")
BOBBY MCFERRIN: (Singing) Beep beep, beep beep, yeah. Beep, beep beep, yeah...
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