Panel Round Two More questions for the panel...It's Not Delivery, It's Survival; The Dong Show
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Panel Round Two

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Panel Round Two

Panel Round Two

Panel Round Two

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More questions for the panel...It's Not Delivery, It's Survival; The Dong Show

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Amy Dickinson, Peter Grosz and Adam Burke. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill pays tribute to '80s teen idol Lim-Ricky (ph) Schroder.

AMY DICKINSON: Oh, Jesus.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Peter, stock in the Papa John's company, along with some other pizza delivery chains, has gone up, and analysts say it's because of what?

PETER GROSZ: Because people don't care what pizza tastes like anymore.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I'll give you a hint - same reason stocks in fallout shelter companies are skyrocketing.

GROSZ: Because you can save Papa John's for two years in an underground bunker?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In case what happens?

GROSZ: In case of armageddon...

SAGAL: Yeah.

GROSZ: ...You can save Papa John's Pizza?

SAGAL: No, but people apparently are ordering more pizza because they're afraid of the end of the world.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Well, I don't know if I deserve that bell, but thank you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They're ordering more pizza because...

SAGAL: Yeah, this is sort of how it works. The world is in peril, danger lurks around every corner. Civil unrest is everywhere. Do you want to go out to eat, or do you want to have somebody else brave that flaming hellscape to bring you a pizza?

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: In a "Mad Max" delivery truck?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah, really.

ADAM BURKE: Is there - I don't remember a lot of references to pizza in the book of Revelations.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: The four delivery drivers of the apocalypse?

SAGAL: And the rider came on a pale horse carrying half a pepperoni.

GROSZ: And yea, if you do not receive it within 30 minutes, it shall be free.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Amy, we've had "The Dating Game," "The Bachelor" - now there is a new dating show on the U.K.'s Channel 4 where you choose your mate based entirely on their what?

DICKINSON: Ooh. I'm sure I've done this in real life, so I'm just saying...

SAGAL: I would really - I don't know if you've done this.

DICKINSON: Really.

SAGAL: I'm going to say that, Amy. I've known you for a while, and I don't think you've done this.

DICKINSON: You choose your mate - it's not kissing because that's been done.

SAGAL: Yeah. They're not so much concerned with emotional baggage, but they are concerned with packages.

DICKINSON: Like your genitals?

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

DICKINSON: I'm shocked that I even knew that's what that meant.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It is a game show in which the person choosing the potential date at least starts entirely just by looking at their genitals.

DICKINSON: No, no.

GROSZ: Naked?

BURKE: Is it called "The Crotch Game?"

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It is called "Naked Attraction," and I am being dead serious. You have a person, and then you have six potential dates standing in boxes.

DICKINSON: No.

SAGAL: And there's a curtain covering them from the waist up.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: God.

SAGAL: And so only their big Bens or their little Bens...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...or if they're women, their 10 down there street is showing. And the contestant...

BURKE: We call them Stonehenges.

SAGAL: Thank you, yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If the contestant then sort of looks and says, well, I'll take number - and then starts eliminating them on the basis of what he or she sees. And as each round goes, they pull up the curtain to reveal a little...

DICKINSON: No.

SAGAL: ...bit more.

DICKINSON: If the drapes match.

SAGAL: As it were, right.

GROSZ: So they - the show - this is now called "Downtown Abbey?"

BURKE: Yeah, downtown...

SAGAL: "Downtown Abbey," yeah, exactly.

BURKE: Or "Downtown Shabby."

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: It's also it's also a great way to find out whether or not someone's an anti-Semite.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's true.

GROSZ: Yeah, because in Britain you wouldn't have that unless...

SAGAL: That's absolutely true.

BURKE: Two questions. I mean, can you tilt the scales by getting a tattoo of your resume on there?

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: But it being an English show, it has to be a really short resume.

SAGAL: Yeah.

DICKINSON: Oh.

BURKE: I've had two jobs. Maybe.

GROSZ: So - and at the end they just, like, lay a rose on someone's genitals, like...

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: ...I have chosen your genitals. It's also like - your genitals are the - they're the least attractive parts of your body.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Yeah.

SAGAL: Like, penises aren't, like objectively good looking, right?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Like, I know I'm a guy and I'm, like - I'm straight, so I don't have, like, an interest in seeing those. But I've seen my fair share, and, like, I've seen mine. And, like, they're all weird looking. They all look like weird mole things, like...

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: But maybe that's the point of the show, to find the one dashing penis.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: And then it's a guy with a monocle or something.

GROSZ: Then it should be called "The Dashing Penis."

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Because then I will watch it.

DICKINSON: It's wearing, like, a little ascot.

SAGAL: It is a weird...

GROSZ: Good day.

DICKINSON: Hello.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "PART OF ME")

KATY PERRY: (Singing) Now look at me. This is the part of me that you're never going to ever take away from me, no. This is the part of me that you're never going to ever take away from me, no.

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