Panel Round Two
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Roy Blount, Jr. and Tom Bodett. And here again is your host at Tanglewood in Lenox, Mass., Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. Thanks everybody. In just a minute, Bill will be baking up a loaf of his famous marbled rhyme bread. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.
Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Roy, having finally exhausted all his options, an NBC weatherman in Phoenix, Ariz., is addressing a challenge he has faced for some time. He has turned to his viewers. He is pleading with them to help him do what?
ROY BLOUNT JR: He's a weatherman?
SAGAL: In Phoenix.
BLOUNT JR: In Phoenix, Ariz.
SAGAL: Which is important.
BLOUNT JR: He can't think of another way to say it's just dry as hell.
SAGAL: I'm going to give it to you. But he's - the problem is he can't think of another way to say, it's really hot.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: That's the problem. The weather in Phoenix, if you've been there, especially in the summer, is always the same. It's really hot with a 70 percent chance of old people. NBC meteorologist Matt Pace has used every possible phrase in his career to describe it. It's hot, it's steamy, it's above average, it's hotter than Donald Trump thinks his daughter is. But...
SAGAL: He's used every possible synonym he can think of. He asked viewers to submit them for how he can say hot in a new way. These are real submissions - anti-cold, extremely lukewarm.
TOM BODETT: Yeah, I had a logger gave me one of my favorite terms one time. It hadn't rained in weeks and the woods was very dry, and he said that it was drier than a popcorn fart. I wonder if anyone has phoned this into NBC. I think I will.
BLOUNT JR: Yeah.
SAGAL: Tom, so a new study looked into those terms and conditions agreements that always pop up on the internet when you sign up for something. And to prove that no one reads these things, the people conducting the study added a section where people agreed to do what - they signed away what?
BODETT: Well, first-born child would be...
SAGAL: Exactly right.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Wow.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: No need to speculate further. Dozens of people blindly signed away their first-born children as they signed up for some dumb app that they were told to sign up for.
BODETT: Well, I'm glad my first-born child is in the, you know, the age of consent.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, that's the only thing saving him.
BLOUNT JR: How did - why did they have to prove that? Everybody knows that.
SAGAL: Well, actually. Of course, they did. As you say, nobody reads these things. If you had a deep secret that could never ever get out or it would destroy your life, the safest place would be either to put it in a terms of agreement notice or in one of those ads they make you watch before they give you free Wi-Fi.
POUNDSTONE: But, you know, it's the exact same thing for Go Kart World.
SAGAL: It's true. But it's human nature.
POUNDSTONE: You know, my kids want to go to Go Kart World. I'm going to sign the thing. I don't know what it says. You know, OK, and if they die, you won't be that upset. I signed it.
SAGAL: This is - as you point out, it's human nature, and it's not the internet. It goes back, you know, to the dawn of time. When Moses got to the top of Mount Sinai, you know, God started reading out the Ten Commandments and, like, Moses - and he was like, Commandment Four, and Moses was like, yeah, yeah, fine, agree, agree, agree.
BLOUNT JR: But also they don't bring them up to date. I mean, there's nothing in the Ten Commandments that says you can't take pictures of your crotch and put it on the internet.
SAGAL: That's true.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, so you want, like, Commandment 11?
BLOUNT JR: Yeah, an amendment.
POUNDSTONE: Well, you know, what people don't realize is that when the bush was burning, it said, oh, and one more thing. And Moses was already back down the mountain.
POUNDSTONE: And the bush yelled at him, Anthony Weiner shouldn't take pictures of his crotch.
POUNDSTONE: And Moses came down, and he said, jeez, it was a hot up there. It was hot as a popcorn fart.
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