Panel Round 2
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Peter Grosz, Paula Poundstone and Faith Salie. And here again is your host at the State Theatre in Cleveland, Ohio.
KURTIS: Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. Thank you everybody. In just a minute, Bill's not going to let him catch the midnight rhyme-der (ph).
SAGAL: It's our Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Paula, there is a new gadget out there just in time for the gift-giving season. I'm sure you're looking around for presents. Well, for just $25, you can get this. It's just like a hot glue gun, but it's for what?
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Oh, skin - to repair your - to do your own surgery. You do your own incision.
POUNDSTONE: And then you hot glue it.
SAGAL: That would be awesome.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, it's certainly the way I've been doing it.
SAGAL: I believe that's what the Republican Congress is going to present as a replacement for Obamacare.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah. That's...
SAGAL: That's what it is.
POUNDSTONE: ...Part of the new health care.
POUNDSTONE: Give me a hint and I'll get the right answer, by golly.
SAGAL: Well, remember it's very hot. So when you're using it Brie careful.
POUNDSTONE: It's for cheese.
SAGAL: It is. It's a hot cheese gun.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
POUNDSTONE: A hot cheese gun.
SAGAL: And it's called the Fondoodler.
SAGAL: The Fondoodler sounds like something that could be fun for the kids or someone who has to stay at least 100 yards away from them.
FAITH SALIE: Wait. If I understand this correctly, this is a gun that will turn any piece of cheese into fondue?
SAGAL: Well, it's a gun that you can put any kind of cheese in, presumably. And then you squeeze it and out the nozzle comes a very precise stream, if you will, of melted cheese. It's perfect...
SALIE: I am now a staunch supporter of the Second Amendment.
SAGAL: You are?
PETER GROSZ: Yeah.
POUNDSTONE: I was about to say, you can put cheese - any kind of cheese into any kind of gun, by the way.
GROSZ: Yeah, I don't think...
GROSZ: That's true.
SALIE: That's a really good point, Paula.
SAGAL: They will...
POUNDSTONE: I think the forefathers intended it that way, did they not?
SAGAL: They will take my gun when they pry it from my very sticky hands.
POUNDSTONE: That's right.
GROSZ: So who uses it? And where do you get it?
SAGAL: Well, people - people who - anybody who wants to have like a very precise stream of cheese to do food decorations or...
GROSZ: It's like a Easy Cheese spray.
SALIE: It's like Squeeze Cheese.
SAGAL: It's like Squeeze Cheese but any cheese...
SALIE: But with...
SAGAL: ...You like and much more precise. It's good for doing decorations or signing divorce papers.
POUNDSTONE: Now, you've repeated over and over again that it's very - what was the...
POUNDSTONE: Precise. So there is less than precise...
SAGAL: Well, yeah. You know, have you ever had a can of what they call Squeeze Cheese?
POUNDSTONE: No. Never have.
SAGAL: The aerosol cheese?
GROSZ: Cheez Whiz.
SAGAL: You've never had this?
SALIE: I guarantee you, if you went to the Amazon supermarket, you would load up your cart if no one were looking with canisters of Squeeze Cheese.
SAGAL: You must have had this. This is the cheese and you hold it and you press...
POUNDSTONE: And big adult diapers. No, I...
SAGAL: ...The little nozzle and cheese comes out. You fill up Bugles. It's very tasty.
SALIE: It is.
GROSZ: It looks like whipped cream, but it's cheese that comes out.
SALIE: We did this...
SAGAL: Kids love it.
SAGAL: ...All the time. We have what's called Five Finger Friday in my home where I squeeze it - I squeeze the cheese on each of my kid's fingers and they lick it off and we start again. That's what life's like in my home.
SAGAL: Oh, yeah.
POUNDSTONE: And you have a...
GROSZ: And what holler do you live in again?
GROSZ: I thought you lived in the Upper West Side of Manhattan.
SALIE: I do. Not every half Jewish child gets to eat like that on Shabbat.
POUNDSTONE: Faith, what is Shabbat? It's a Jewish holiday?
SALIE: It's every week, it's a Jewish holiday.
POUNDSTONE: Every week?
SALIE: It's the Sabbath.
SAGAL: It's the Sabbath.
POUNDSTONE: See I had...
GROSZ: Wait a minute, Paula, how have you been in comedy for so long and this is a first time you're asking a Jewish person what Shabat is?
SALIE: I'm not Jewish. I'm not even Jewish.
POUNDSTONE: You're not Jewish?
SALIE: I'm Catholic.
POUNDSTONE: Well, why are you doing Shabbat and five finger cheese stuff?
SALIE: Because I'm open minded, Paula.
POUNDSTONE: Oh. Well, I'll tell you something. I'm an Atheist. But I did last spring to go to a Seder. And I must say, Peter, I know you're Jewish. You guys eat some unhappy foods.
SAGAL: Unhappy foods?
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, very.
POUNDSTONE: I'm eating the Matzah. I said to the people, I go you know what this needs? Leavening.
POUNDSTONE: But, you know, if you're partying once a week, do you have time to put all the ingredients in a happy food? No.
SAGAL: What's interesting is that Paula, herself is the answer to the question why is this night different from all other nights?
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "HAPPINESS IS A WARM GUN")
THE BEATLES: (Singing) Happiness is a warm gun. Bang, bang. Shoot, shoot. Happiness is a warm gun. Yes it is. Bang, bang. Shoot, shoot. Happiness is a warm, yes it is, gun. Happiness, bang, bang. Shoot, shoot.
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