Panel Questions Fowl Embrace
NPR logo

Panel Questions

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/532300354/532379151" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript
Panel Questions

Panel Questions

Panel Questions

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/532300354/532379151" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript

Fowl Embrace

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Right now, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Paula, after a number of salmonella outbreaks, the CDC is advising people not to do what?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Eat salmonella.

(LAUGHTER)

FAITH SALIE: That has to be true.

SAGAL: No.

POUNDSTONE: I - not "The Hokey Pokey."

SAGAL: It doesn't matter how affectionate you feel towards poultry. Don't do this.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, don't kiss your chicken.

SAGAL: No, actually...

POUNDSTONE: Yeah...

SAGAL: ...This is what's interesting.

POUNDSTONE: No, that they've been saying for a while.

SAGAL: They're saying don't kiss your chicken. But now they don't want you to do what either or in addition?

POUNDSTONE: Go to the next base with your chicken?

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: That goes without saying.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Honestly, Peter, any good chicken will tell you that.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, Paula, the answer is they don't want you to cuddle with chickens.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

POUNDSTONE: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SAGAL: Yeah, yeah.

SALIE: Live chickens.

SAGAL: Yes.

POUNDSTONE: Well, you know why? 'Cause you're leading them on.

SAGAL: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I should explain. So previously on the show, we had mentioned a CDC advisory that people should not kiss their chickens. That's because it's unhealthy and because chickens reserve kissing only for their actual boyfriends. That didn't stop the love-crazed poultry lovers. So now the CDC is warning people to stop snuggling their chickens.

This is meant to prevent you from contracting salmonella. Remember, the only time you should spoon your chicken is when it's already in soup.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: You can't blame these people. I mean, chickens have really nice breasts and thighs.

TRACY CLAYTON: That is true.

POUNDSTONE: You know, the truth is turkeys are really a wonderful petting experience.

SAGAL: Are they?

POUNDSTONE: I don't want to eat them. But, yeah, 'cause...

CLAYTON: But they're delicious.

POUNDSTONE: ...Underneath their wings, it's, like, cavernous. You could store stuff in there. It's big enough for, like, a makeup bag.

CLAYTON: You've been under a turkey's wing?

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, I have.

CLAYTON: Wow. How did that even happen?

POUNDSTONE: Well, I was at a friendly farm.

CLAYTON: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: And I went in. I sat with a turkey for a while. And then I slowly made my move.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "HOLD ME NOW")

THOMPSON TWINS: (Singing) Oh, hold me now, warm my heart. Stay with me.

(SOUNDBITE OF CHICKEN CLUCKING)

SAGAL: Coming up, our panelists give themselves one last night of debauchery before settling down. It's our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAITWAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME from NPR.

Copyright © 2017 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.