Bluff The Listener
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Tracy Clayton, Faith Salie and Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
SAGAL: Thank you so much. Right now it's time for the WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAITWAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME.
LIZ PHILLIPS: Hi. This is Liz Phillips from Orlando, Fla.
SAGAL: Hey, how are things in Orlando?
PHILLIPS: Really well. It's beautiful out right now. It finally stopped raining after the last 20 straight hours of rain.
SAGAL: Oh, well, I'm glad to hear that.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Wow.
SAGAL: What do you do there?
PHILLIPS: I'm a licensed massage therapist. And I'm currently attending school full time to become an acupuncture physician.
SAGAL: Really? Who gets to be, like, your first test patient, the first person you're going to stick pins in?
PHILLIPS: The very first thing that you get to puncture is an orange. And then you, yourself, are the second person that you can...
SAGAL: Oh, really? So the first person you have to stick pins in is yourself?
POUNDSTONE: Well, that seems fair.
FAITH SALIE: That's fair.
SAGAL: Yeah, that's fair.
TRACY CLAYTON: Yeah, it makes sense. It makes a lot of sense.
SAGAL: All right. Liz, it's nice to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Liz's topic?
KURTIS: Bachelor party.
SAGAL: The bachelor party. That time-honored tradition where you celebrate the guest of honor by poisoning him with tequila and making him do things that'll get him divorced before he's even married. This week, we read about a special new way to celebrate your last few single days. Our panelists are going to tell you about it.
Pick the one who's telling the truth, you'll win our prize, the voice of Carl Kasell on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
PHILLIPS: Yes, I am ready.
SAGAL: First, let's hear from Faith Salie.
SALIE: If you're getting married and you want one last night out with the lads, who's your inspiration? Why not the most famous bachelor in the world, a man who's loved by millions of ladies, who lives in a palace, a guy who wears chunky jewelry and dresses like a boss? That's right, the dude you want to emulate for your bachelor party is the pope. And the vehicle you need is the popemobile.
For just 300 euro an hour, you and your buddies can be driven around in a real popemobile from 1979. You have to party near Dublin, though, because this hot ride is property of the Dublin Wax Museum and was purchased by a local businessman named Paddy Dunning. The popemobile was built for Pope John Paul II's first visit to Ireland.
And Paddy gave the popemobile a $77,000 makeover. While pimping it out for stag parties, he parked it at his mom's house and invited some nuns to come visit. Talk about indulgences. This ride offers 15 seats, including a papal throne that you can sit on or use to hold your keg. If that's not enough to make you gentlemen genuflect, check out the popemobile's rooftop viewing balcony.
What better way to celebrate the sacrament of holy matrimony than standing where the supreme pontiff once gave papal blessings and drunkenly singing "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" at the top of your lungs?
SAGAL: Rent the popemobile...
SAGAL: ...To give your bachelor party that Vatican touch. Your next story of a new way to throw away your single life comes from Tracy Clayton.
CLAYTON: A company in Hamburg, Germany is making headlines after an advertisement of theirs made its way around the Internet last week. Tote Bazook (ph) specializes in giving you back the loved ones you've lost for your important life celebrations like birthdays, weddings, christenings and bachelor parties. Did your bro bounce and leave you lonely? Do you want to honor your life's evolution by including someone that death's icy hand has already claimed? Look no further.
Tote Bazook has designed an extensive, highly intelligent survey that will provide all the information needed for an actor to show up at your celebration and pretend to be your dearly departed loved one. I know, right? Crazy.
CLAYTON: Clothes, hair, body type, catchphrases - they'll incorporate it all into the new body of your loved one so you don't have to pass milestones without them. It was amazing, said John Streusel (ph), who is a real person.
We had someone come to my bachelor party and take the place of my friend Hons (ph), who died last year. Hons owed me $20 when he died, and the new Hons paid it back with interest. They made me give it back at the end of the party. But still, the new Hons was way cooler than the dead Hons.
CLAYTON: Take that, science and Mother Nature.
SAGAL: A company in Germany provides your beloved, yet dead relatives and friends for your bachelor party. Your last story of a new kind of bachelor party comes from Paula Poundstone.
POUNDSTONE: As hand-cuffed groom-to-be Danny Davin (ph) was led with his similarly restrained groomsmen from the Wanahatchie (ph), Wis. Bed Bath & Beyond by the Wanahatchie, Wis. men in blue, his best man, Eddie Buffington (ph), desperately explained that the party had not broken into the store. Mr. Buffington claimed that he had booked the evening's laser tag bachelor party after hours in the Bed Bath & Beyond online through the Born To Be Wild party company.
For six hours, the band of buddies celebrated their mate's final night of bachelorhood by running, hiding, ducking, commando crawling and role playing in the bed section. Shouts of I got you, no you didn't, Yes I did, you're behind the wrinkly hose in the as-seen-on-TV section rang through the huge department store. Friendships were frequently strained by making up rules on the fly.
You can't shoot me when I'm deciding if I need a colorful wire whisk, you butt-head. No fair, I was trying to register. The Born To Be Wild party company was the illegal brainchild of Jennifer Clemente (ph), the assistant manager of the Wanahatchie, Wis. Bed Bath & Beyond. However, the corporate office is now considering stealing the idea. If they put the mile-high stacks of towels back when they knock them down, this bachelor party business could be profitable.
SAGAL: All right, which of these was a real bachelor party idea? From Faith Salie, a place in Ireland that will let you rent a genuine popemobile to take you and your bros around, from Tracy Clayton, a company that provides people who replicate your dead loved ones so they can be there for your bachelor party or from Paula Poundstone, a rogue Bed Bath & Beyond manager in Wisconsin sells some rowdy bachelors a chance to go wild at a Bed Bath & Beyond.
Which of these is the real story of a new idea in bachelor parties?
PHILLIPS: Wow, that's a real - that's a nail-biter. But I'm going to go with number one, the popemobile in Dublin.
SAGAL: You're going to choose Faith's story of being able to rent the popemobile.
SAGAL: Apparently. Well, we spoke to someone who knew a little bit about this real bachelor party opportunity.
IMELDA MURRAY: The wax museum does own the popemobile. And it's available to rent or whatever through the wax museum.
SAGAL: That was Imelda Murray. She's the front office manager of the National Wax Museum Dublin where, of course, you can rent the popemobile for your bachelor party.
SALIE: Good on you, Liz.
SAGAL: Congratulations, Liz. You got it right. You earned a point for Faith...
SALIE: Thanks, Liz.
SAGAL: ...For telling the truth. And you won our prize. Carl Kasell will record the greeting on your voicemail. Well done, Liz.
PHILLIPS: Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Love you guys.
SAGAL: Love you too. Bye-bye.
POUNDSTONE: Bye, Liz.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "PARTY")
THE COLLINS KIDS: (Singing) Some people like to rock. Some people like to roll. But moving and a-grooving's going to satisfy my soul. Let's have a party. Let's have a party. Send them to the store. Let's buy some more. Let's have a party tonight.
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