Panel Questions Make Believe Friends, Lay Lady Lays
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Panel Questions

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Panel Questions

Panel Questions

Panel Questions

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Make Believe Friends, Lay Lady Lays

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Tracy Clayton and Faith Salie. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, it is summer-rhyme, and the limericks are easy.

(LAUGHTER)

TRACY CLAYTON: That was good. I liked it.

SAGAL: Thank you, Tracy.

CLAYTON: You're welcome.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If you'd like to play give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Faith, vending machines exist to give us what we want when we want it, which explains why there is now a vending machine in Russia that provides what?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: DNC emails.

(LAUGHTER)

FAITH SALIE: What we want when we want it - is it something intangible?

SAGAL: Oh, yes. As a matter of fact, it is.

SALIE: Really? Like, approbation?

SAGAL: In a way, yes.

SALIE: Twitter followers.

SAGAL: I'm going to give it to you.

SALIE: OK.

SAGAL: Basically, it's a vending machine that sells likes on your social media posts.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SALIE: Wow.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: This machine...

POUNDSTONE: That is messed up.

SAGAL: Isn't it, though?

SALIE: Wow.

SAGAL: This machine is in a mall in Moscow, and $1 will get you 100 likes on one of your Instagram posts.

SALIE: Oh, my gosh.

POUNDSTONE: That shows how phony the whole thing is anyway, you know, sort of like hiring a company to send you valentines, you know?

SAGAL: Yeah.

SALIE: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: It's foolish. It's like, the thank-you thing on your receipt from Burger King. You know, don't bother printing it.

(LAUGHTER)

CLAYTON: I really appreciate the thank-yous on burger receipts.

SAGAL: Do you really?

SALIE: Do you?

SAGAL: Do you feel validated?

CLAYTON: It's just nice to hear it from somebody.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Paula, in China, shoppers can now purchase potato chip bags that contain what?

POUNDSTONE: Well, the obvious answer, Peter...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: ...Potato chips.

SAGAL: No.

POUNDSTONE: Potato chip bags that contain - can you give me a hint?

SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: I hate to ask for it. But...

SAGAL: Brands include Lay's lady Lay's.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: I love that song. (Singing) Lay's lady Lay's

POUNDSTONE: Include - that include Eric Clapton? What?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Eric Clapton?

POUNDSTONE: Eric Clapton is inside the potato chip bag?

SAGAL: No. First of all, it's not Eric Clapton.

SALIE: Who is it?

SAGAL: You're thinking of "Layla."

SALIE: Who is it?

POUNDSTONE: No. Lay, lady, lay - lay across my big brass bed?

SAGAL: How about - here's another hint. That - who is that?

SALIE: Who is that?

SAGAL: It's not Eric Clapton.

SALIE: Who is it?

POUNDSTONE: Who?

UNIDENTIFIED MAN #1: Dylan.

SALIE: Bob Dylan?

POUNDSTONE: Bob Dylan's in a potato chip bag?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No.

POUNDSTONE: Like that makes any more sense than Eric Clapton being in a potato chip bag.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: In China.

SAGAL: It's not Bob Dylan. It is a book of his lyrics.

POUNDSTONE: A book of his lyrics come in a potato chip bag?

SAGAL: Yes, they do.

POUNDSTONE: You know, I think our level of respect for Bob Dylan is just not where it should be.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, to the untrained eye, these look like bags of Bob Dylan-flavored potato chips, which, by the way, is indistinguishable from...

CLAYTON: Ew.

SAGAL: ...Salt And Vinegar. What it is is it's a booklet of his lyrics inside the little potato chip bag.

POUNDSTONE: It's inside a potato chip bag?

SAGAL: Yeah. Bob Dylan becomes only the second Nobel laureate to have his work sold in snack bags along with Gabriel Garcia Flaming Hot Cheetos.

(LAUGHTER)

CLAYTON: Are these, like...

POUNDSTONE: None of this makes any sense.

SAGAL: Well, this - it actually does because somebody said why are...

POUNDSTONE: It doesn't. No, it doesn't

SAGAL: Why are you selling...

POUNDSTONE: Somebody...

SAGAL: ...Books of Bob Dylan lyrics inside potato chip bags with a picture of Bob Dylan on the front?

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: And they said, well, we thought about what people really like. And people really like potato chips.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Who's the...

CLAYTON: Potato chips are pretty good.

POUNDSTONE: Who's the we when you say we thought of them?

SAGAL: The company...

SALIE: I can't...

SAGAL: ...That decided that they would like to sell booklets of Bob Dylan lyrics to the good people of China.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

CLAYTON: Oh.

SAGAL: He is the Nobel Prize winner in literature.

POUNDSTONE: Yes.

SALIE: Oh, I thought the story started with the potato chip people who were like, how do we spice this up?

SAGAL: No, no, no.

SALIE: But when you tell it to me that way, I get it.

SAGAL: Yeah. It's, like, why not?

POUNDSTONE: Oh, no.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: This is, like - I feel like I'm in a nightmare right now.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: You take something you want to sell. And then you...

POUNDSTONE: And you put it in a potato chip...

SALIE: ...Put something delicious with it.

CLAYTON: Yeah, actually, I'm into it.

POUNDSTONE: This makes no sense at all...

(LAUGHTER)

CLAYTON: I'm into it.

POUNDSTONE: ...Starting from the very beginning of the show, when Peter said we're watching a bad thing happen, and there's nothing we can do about it.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: We can do something about it. This is America, and we don't get our Bob Dylan from a potato chip bag.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: It's just we don't.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: And if the Chinese are doing that, it's a way of disrespecting us.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: First they - I don't know what they did first.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: First, they might have manipulated currency, and I don't even know what the hell that means.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Next thing you know, they're crinkling Bob Dylan.

(SOUNDBITE OF BOB DYLAN SONG, "LAY, LADY, LAY")

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