Panel Questions
Total Eclipse Of The Dumb, Just For Kicks
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, Mo Rocca and Adam Felber. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill consults with Secretary of Energy Lim-Rick (ph) Perry...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...In our Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Mo, this week doctors in California are treating several people who believed the way to safely watch the solar eclipse last week was to do what?
MO ROCCA: To squint, probably.
SAGAL: No.
ROCCA: They thought it would be - they thought they could watch it through, like, a colander.
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: I tried to do that.
SAGAL: Did you really?
ROCCA: No, I actually got on a plane from New York to Los Angeles, and I looked at the path of totality in my flight path. And I was so excited. And I thought I was going to drive - fly right into the eclipse and go into, like, a parallel universe or something.
SAGAL: You were tweeting about this, yeah.
ROCCA: I was really, really excited. And when I showed up the airport, I said to the flight attendant - this is so exciting. And she said, why? And I said because we're going to fly right into the eclipse. And she said well, keep your shade down then. She just sort of spoiled it. She wasn't fun at all about it.
SAGAL: Really? Well, did you actually fly through the total eclipse?
ROCCA: We - very, very close. We took off too early, so it became very dusk-like.
SAGAL: Oh, I'm sorry.
ROCCA: But yeah - looking through a colander...
SAGAL: Nope.
ROCCA: ...Through a jar of jelly?
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: In this case, I'll give you a hint. The SPF stood for Stu Pid F-er (ph).
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: Oh, people rubbed suntan lotion on their eyeballs.
SAGAL: That's exactly what they did.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
ROCCA: Whoa.
SAGAL: Not only...
ROXANNE ROBERTS: (Laughter) That's awesome.
SAGAL: ...Did rubbing suntan lotion on their eyeballs not protect them from the brightness of looking directly at the sun, the sunscreen caused irritation to their eyes.
ADAM FELBER: You think?
SAGAL: And they didn't even get that sexy eye tan that everybody wants.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So an urgent care clinic in Redding, Calif., reported at least three patients showed up in pain after trying this. They said these people now realize their error. And for the next eclipse in a few years, they'll do the smart thing and rub the sunscreen directly on their glasses.
(LAUGHTER)
FELBER: That'll work.
SAGAL: Adam, this week, a blog finally addressed a little-discussed challenge of child rearing, publishing a guide for fathers to help them keep what safe from their children?
FELBER: Their stash.
SAGAL: Not quite.
FELBER: Their...
SAGAL: Something very valuable to them, somewhat irreplaceable - their jewels, you might say.
ROCCA: Oh, gosh.
FELBER: Their gonads.
SAGAL: Yes, exactly right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
FELBER: You know what? I am absolutely in favor. I can think of a lot of advice.
SAGAL: All fathers of small children are like, yes - where do I find that?
SAGAL: This is about those chest-mounted baby carriers, like BabyBjorns. They're cute - right? - seeing a kid there. But every new father knows that your baby's legs hang at just the right height to threaten your own little baby bjalls (ph).
(LAUGHTER)
FELBER: Repeatedly.
SAGAL: Repeatedly. So this week, the "Lifehacker" blog published a guide to protect your precious parts from the flailing limbs of your children. Before this, the only solace you had was knowing that one swift kick would prevent you from having any more kids to torment you.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So they suggest putting an arm over their legs - that makes sense, right? - putting the kid on your back or, seriously, wearing a protective cup.
(LAUGHTER)
ROBERTS: OK. All right. I understand if you're talking about toddlers. But we're talking about very small children in these. Right?
SAGAL: Well, very small babies' legs are just the right length to swing back and forth.
ROBERTS: No, I understand that. But even if they swing, can they really get sort of the...
FELBER: Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
ROBERTS: Really?
SAGAL: Oh, yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Trust me on this.
ROBERTS: That hard?
SAGAL: No. We are very grateful for this because it's important to address the real victims of child raising, dads - not the lucky moms because no baby does anything painful to their genitals ever.
(LAUGHTER)
FELBER: That is just one time, though.
SAGAL: It is.
ROBERTS: I think you should say that your wife repeatedly.
SAGAL: I know.
ROBERTS: It was just one time - no big deal.
FELBER: Yeah, I'm going to not do that.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "ALIVE AND KICKING")
SIMPLE MINDS: (Singing) Alive and kicking - stay until your love is alive and kicking. Stay until your love...
Copyright © 2017 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.
NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.