Limericks Bill Kurtis reads three news-related limericks: Interest Free CDs, Birdbrain and Platform Shoes.
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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

Limericks

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Bill Kurtis reads three news-related limericks: Interest Free CDs, Birdbrain and Platform Shoes.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAITWAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There, you can find out about attending our weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show in Hartford, Conn., on March 15 and our April 5 show in Columbus, Ohio.

Hi, you are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

ANNA CARMACK: Hi. This is Anna Carmack (ph) calling from Atlanta, Ga.

SAGAL: Hey. How are things in Atlanta?

CARMACK: They're good. I am visiting from Maine, though. So it's a little - they think it's cold. I think it's warm.

SAGAL: Really? So what are you doing in Atlanta?

CARMACK: I am a medical student down here doing an elective rotation.

SAGAL: Oh, OK. Cool. So it's an elective rotation. What did you choose, then, to study?

CARMACK: I'm at the CDC for a few weeks.

SAGAL: Oh, you are?

ADAM FELBER: Oh.

CARMACK: Yeah - in the flu division so keeping busy.

SAGAL: Things have changed. But is the CDC against diseases, or are they for them now?

(LAUGHTER)

CARMACK: Hopefully against.

SAGAL: All right. Anna, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play?

CARMACK: OK. Yeah.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: Because everyone plays MP3s, we don't need discs of all the Bee Gees. And each cracked jewel case was just eating up space, so the stores have stopped selling...

CARMACK: CDs.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

CARMACK: CDs.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Best known as those shiny little plates used to keep crows away...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...CDs will no longer be sold at Best Buy, where for years they've been one of the worst buys. The thing is, most people thought CDs were gone years ago, but they've been here all the time - like Nazis.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Does this make you guys sad because you all grew up with CDs?

FELBER: The countdown has just started to when hipsters start insisting it's the best sound out there.

SAGAL: That's true.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: With my beak, I play heavy percussion. I peck holes in the wood - no discussion. Each day, I sustain heavy blows to my brain. This woodpecker has a...

CARMACK: Concussion.

SAGAL: Yes, concussion.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: With all the attention paid to athletes, we've forgotten about the most obvious concussion sufferers, woodpeckers.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Scientists say they have found proteins in the brains of birds that indicate head trauma, trauma that comes, of course, from constantly banging its head on a tree to get food. Can you imagine if the only way to get food would be to bang your head on a Trader Joe's?

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: That's what it feels like when you try to park there.

SAGAL: Yeah, I know. You finally - you bang your head. You bang your head, and finally you make a little hole, and the peanut butter-filled pretzels finally come out.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Not only do they have to do that, they have the stupidest name - woodpecker.

FELBER: Yeah.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: You won't find that in a certain school dictionary.

SAGAL: Certainly not.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Here, Anna, is your last limerick.

KURTIS: Hot fashion has news I can use. New footwear, I'm choosing by twos. The runway extolls double layers of soles, so I'm wearing some shoes on my...

CARMACK: Shoes?

SAGAL: Yeah, shoes on your shoes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It's - if you're having a hard time envisioning what shoes for shoes are - good. That means you're not wearing them. So a Chinese designer has created this pair of shoes you strap onto the shoes you're already wearing, sort of the same way you would strap on an old-style pair of roller skates. Roller skates are, of course, safer because you might break your leg, but at least you won't look like a moron.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And the idea was - it was designed as a fashionable way to protect the expensive shoes that you might be wearing. You know, you don't want to ruin your $800 loafers, so you strap on these $350 shoe protectors.

AMY DICKINSON: And they're, like, giant crampons, right?

SAGAL: Sort of, yeah.

FELBER: It sounds like someone just reinvented goloshes and put a big price tag on it.

SAGAL: Sort of - but they're much more expensive that eventually you're not going to want to ruin them, so you have to get a pair of shoes for your shoes...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...For your shoes for your shoes - and then, of course, a pair of shoes for your shoes for your shoes for your shoes. And eventually, you'll have so many shoes on your feet that you'll ram your head on the bottom of Elon Musk's car.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Anna do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Anna, that undergrad at Notre Dame paid off. You got them all right. You killed it.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

CARMACK: Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Anna, thank you so much for playing.

CARMACK: Thank you. Have a good day.

SAGAL: Bye-bye. You, too.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKING")

NANCY SINATRA: Are you ready, boots? Start walking.

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