Lightning Fill In The Blank All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.
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Lightning Fill In The Blank

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Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

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All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

It's time now for our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth 2 points.

Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: We have a three-way tie.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Everyone has 4 points.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Well, we've got a three-way tie. I'm just going to randomly pick Hari to go first. Here we go. This week, a U.S.-led coalition conducted airstrikes against pro-regime forces in blank.

HARI KONDABOLU: Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Amazon announced it was launching free two-hour delivery from blank stores in four cities.

KONDABOLU: Department stores.

SAGAL: No, Whole Foods.

KONDABOLU: Oh.

SAGAL: They own Whole Foods, remember? After an incident this week, Florida police issued an advisory to the public to not call 911 for blank.

KONDABOLU: The weather.

SAGAL: No, do not call 911 for a police escort because you're running late to a friend's wedding.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Too many romantic comedies.

KONDABOLU: Somebody did that.

SAGAL: Yeah. On Monday, the Virginia Senate voted unanimously to approve medical blank treatments.

KONDABOLU: Marijuana.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, John Mahoney, the actor best known for playing the father in the sitcom blank passed away at 77.

KONDABOLU: "Frasier."

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Washington State University awarded...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Its community involvement award to player Logan Tago, who had blanked.

KONDABOLU: For feeding the homeless.

SAGAL: No. He won their community involvement award because he completed 240 hours of community service he was sentenced to by a judge.

(LAUGHTER)

AMY DICKINSON: Everybody gets a trophy.

SAGAL: Tago is a defensive lineman for the Washington State Cougars. He was given the 240 hours of volunteer work sentence as part of a plea bargain after he was arrested for punching a guy and stealing his beer.

DICKINSON: (Laughter) Jeez.

SAGAL: During his acceptance speech as he received the award, Tago said he hoped his win inspired other students to have a judge force them into a life of community service on threat of being jailed.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Hari do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Hari got three right, 6 more points - total of 10 - and moves into the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Amy, why don't you go next?

DICKINSON: OK.

SAGAL: Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi gave the House's longest speech ever, calling for protections for blank.

DICKINSON: DACA.

SAGAL: Right.

DICKINSON: DREAMers.

SAGAL: Or the DREAMers.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, mixed doubles curling opened the first day of the 2018 blank.

DICKINSON: Olympics.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, President Trump's lawyers advised him against speaking with special counsel blank.

DICKINSON: Mueller? No.

SAGAL: Mueller, Mueller. Yeah, Mueller.

DICKINSON: Yeah, Mueller.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the Supreme Court upheld an anti-gerrymandering ruling in blank.

DICKINSON: Shoot. Was that Pennsylvania?

SAGAL: It was.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Officials in Kansas say they're considering changes to the state's election rules after blank.

DICKINSON: The governor did something bad.

SAGAL: No, after seven teenagers applied to run for governor and attorney general.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I don't know why they're upset. It worked here in South Bend.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Mayor Doogie. On Thursday, Dunkin' Donuts announced it would eliminate blank from its restaurants by 2020.

DICKINSON: Styrofoam cups, yes.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a new study suggested that cutting asparagus out of your diet could help stop the spread of blank.

DICKINSON: Smelling your pee.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Cancer, cancer. Not as bad as the smell of pee, but bad. After calling police and asking for assistance...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...A farmer in Scotland who spotted a tiger prowling his property realized blank.

DICKINSON: It was a giant stuffed toy.

SAGAL: This is true.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: He called the police after he saw the tiger inside his cow shed. While waiting for them to arrive, he noticed the tiger wasn't moving, eventually realized it was a stuffed animal. He admits he was shocked at how realistic the tiger looked. And he said he was even more surprised that his cows had learned to use the claw machine he had installed in the shed.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Now, in Scotland...

DICKINSON: Seriously.

SAGAL: This is what's amazing. This is the second time, as far as we know - there could be more - that somebody has called the police in Great Britain saying, my God, there's a tiger...

(LAUGHTER)

ADAM FELBER: What are they thinking?

SAGAL: ...And it turns out it's a big stuffed tiger.

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: Those people miss the empire.

SAGAL: They really do.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Because, you know, tigers (unintelligible)...

FELBER: (Growling).

SAGAL: ...Common in Great Britain. Bill, how did Amy do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, she got six right - 12 more points. She has a total of 16, moves into the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So Bill, how many, then, does Adam - our last panelist - need to win?

KURTIS: Six to tie and seven to win.

SAGAL: All right, Adam. Here we go.

FELBER: (Impersonating British accent) It's a tiger. Oh, no. Nevermind.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: (Impersonating British accent) It's an audience.

SAGAL: Here we go, Adam.

FELBER: (Impersonating British accent) Oh, a tiger. Oh, no.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: (Impersonating British accent) It's only our beloved host, Peter Sagal. False alarm.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right.

FELBER: (Impersonating British accent) Oh, it's a - (unintelligible) my pencil.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: (Imitating British accent) Sorry.

SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Adam. All right, Adam. This is for the game. According to a report from the AP, over 11 million people enrolled in blank for 2018.

FELBER: Obamacare.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The National Transit Safety Board (ph) said they're investigating the cause of the second blank crash in two weeks.

FELBER: Amtrak.

SAGAL: This week...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...The DHS's cybersecurity chief said that blank successfully hacked some states' voter registration systems in 2016.

FELBER: The Russkies.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, aftershocks of a 6.4 magnitude earthquake slowed rescue efforts in blank.

FELBER: Taiwan.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Norwegian man was stopped by police this week after he was spotted blanking.

FELBER: Buying 15,000 eggs.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This happened back in Norway. He was stopped for cross-country skiing with improper technique.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Oh, stop.

FELBER: You got to wear pants, guy.

SAGAL: They take it seriously.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But the chafing. After reporting their first-ever quarterly profit, shares in social media site blank shot up 22 percent this week.

FELBER: Twitter.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the U.S. Postal Service announced it would unveil a stamp featuring beloved PBS icon, blank, next month.

FELBER: Mr. Rogers.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Thanks to an advance in food science announced this week...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...The next big trend in fine dining might be food that blanks.

FELBER: Monitors itself as it passes through your system.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That levitates.

KONDABOLU: Oh.

SAGAL: Sure. Sure, paying $40 for a single bite of food is great, but you know what's better? Plucking it out of the air with your mouth.

DICKINSON: OK, that sounds great.

FELBER: Those Doritos will rise right out of the bag, Amy.

SAGAL: Yeah.

DICKINSON: That sounds awesome.

SAGAL: This new technology is called TastyFloats. It uses sound waves to levitate food particles in front of you. You just open your mouth and grab it as it floats by, like a human sea anemone.

KONDABOLU: We don't deserve to live.

SAGAL: I know.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Bill, did Adam do well enough to win? No, but he tied Amy.

SAGAL: There you go.

(APPLAUSE)

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