Bluff The Listener
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Tom Bodett, Adam Burke and Faith Salie. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Segal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
SAGAL: Right now, it is time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
DAN TAYLOR-STUON: Hello, how are you?
SAGAL: I'm fine. Who's this?
TAYLOR-STUON: This is Dan Taylor-Stuon from West Chester, Pa., just outside Philadelphia.
SAGAL: Oh, yeah, I know Chester pretty well. What do you do there?
TAYLOR-STUON: I'm a high school English teacher.
SAGAL: Oh really?
SAGAL: How is that going? In high school, English teachers played a pretty significant role in my life. Have you been reduced to the point where you're just teaching tweets?
TOM BODETT: That was slightly maniacal, Dan.
SAGAL: Yeah, I know. (Laughter) Well, Dan welcome to the show. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Dan's topic?
KURTIS: Vengeance is mine.
SAGAL: Revenge is a dish best served cold. This is one of the many things revenge has in common with vichyssoise.
SAGAL: They're also - often both involve potatoes. This week, we read a story of someone getting revenge in a somewhat surprising and clever way. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the real story, you'll win our prize - the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
TAYLOR-STUON: I'm prepared to be lied to.
SAGAL: All right, good. That's such a general posture we should all be in all the time.
SAGAL: First, let's hear from Faith Salie.
FAITH SALIE: Former sorority sisters and now sisters-in-law, Brittany Lewis (ph) and Nicole Lewis (ph) have gone from BFFs to sworn enemies. At issue, who has rights to a baby name? And what happened when one of them allegedly tried to steal it. Back when they were Chi Omega at University of Alabama, Brittany says she told Nicole that some day she wanted to have a baby named Grayson (ph). Nicole swears she heard Brittany say she wanted a grandson and that anyway, it doesn't matter because Brittany was very, very drunk on bubble gum schnapps. But then, Nicole got pregnant first and announced she was going to name her daughter Grayson. Brittany, outraged that Nicole would steal the name of her yet-to-be-conceived first child, decided to get even. Like a fake loyal BFF, she held Nicole's hand during childbirth and then offered to bring her niece's completed birth certificate to the nurse's station, where Brittany changed the name Grayson Olivia (ph) to Gorgonzola Auburn (ph).
SALIE: Obnoxious nod to University of Alabama's hated rival. Then Brittany made a Facebook announcement that said not to be cheesy y'all, but let's welcome Gorgonzola to the world. Finally, she convinced their mother-in-law, Grandma Dibah (ph), to knit a blankey (ph) with the nickname Gorgon in orange and blue, the colors of Auburn. Nicole is suing Brittany for emotional distress. Brittany is suing Nicole for what her lawyer is calling the intellectual property and spiritual ownership of a name. Their husbands, who are brothers, have gone golfing during this very difficult time.
SAGAL: One woman gets revenge and another for supposedly stealing her baby name by naming the baby Gorgonzola. Your next story of someone seeking payback comes from Tom Bodett.
BODETT: Few criminal gangs command the heights of fame and fear is that of the Hells Angels. With their bikes and boots and blades and chains and huge mustaches, they rule all roads they travel. So imagine what happened when Dale Kelland, president of the Manitoba Nomads, a chapter of the outlaw Hells Angels, heard his members had been turned away from a Winnipeg hotel and restaurant for wearing their trademark logos. Kelland squeaked out of those stretchy leather gloves, grabbed up his phone and called on his badass brothers to boycott that business. They obeyed their leader in droves and on March 27, the outlaws took to social media to express their displeasure. Hundreds of them pummeled the Facebook page of the helpless enterprise with one-star reviews, reducing its 4.5 star reputation to three stars overnight. Then the animals move their attack to TripAdvisor.
BODETT: We refer to this type of fraud as vandalism, Tara Lieberman, a spokesperson for TripAdvisor, wrote in an email. We have sophisticated systems and teams in place to detect fraudsters, as well as strong penalties to deter them. But these are not just fraudsters. These are the Hells freaking Angels. Strong penalties be damned - off they charged to deliver the kill shot - Yelp. The offending businesses' Facebook pages were taken down in defeat. Respect restored, the gang concealed their phones in their boots and waistbands and waited for their leader's command. Let's troll, boys. Let's troll.
SAGAL: The Hells Angels in Canada wreaking their violent revenge by leaving very negative Yelp reviews. Your last story of revenge comes from Adam Burke.
ADAM BURKE: Rejection is always hard, especially in the cutthroat world of regional theater. In Belfast, Maine, long-frustrated thespian Harlow Finch (ph) has revenged himself on local drama troupe the Maine Mummers (ph) for decades of no thank you's and failed auditions. Sandra Meeks (ph), creative director for the group explains - look, Harlow is enthusiastic but also he stinks. So when a sudden windfall inheritance fell into Finch's lap, he saw the chance to make his dreams come true and settle some scores. It was bad enough he opened his own theater right across the street from us, said Meeks, but then he started putting on competing versions of our productions. In order to skirt licensing rules precluding two competing productions of a play in the same zip code, Finch had to get creative. When the Mummers mounted a well-known tragedy by Arthur Miller, Finch premiered his own self-penned opus "Last Breath Of A Tradesman."
BURKE: With himself in the lead as down-on-his-luck huckster Phil E. Holeman (ph). Or when the Mummers essayed Tennessee Williams, he beat them to the punch with his "Trolley Car Called Passion" in which he starred as a bevested Sidney Kipowski (ph), yelling plaintively for his wife, Sheila (ph).
BURKE: The Mummers are bracing themselves for this summer when their big musical, "Grease," will face off against Finch's spectacular "Lube..."
BURKE: ...Starring Finch's '50s heartthrob Manny Tuko (ph) singing (singing) inform me further, inform me further about those August evenings.
SAGAL: So somebody took revenge on somebody else. They did it in one of the following ways. Was it from Faith, the woman who got upset when her friend stole her baby name by renaming the baby after a smelly cheese? Was it from Tom Bodett, the Hells Angels, much feared, getting back at a hotel that didn't serve them by leaving very negative reviews on TripAdvisor and Yelp? Or from Adam Burke - how a guy, a frustrated actor, got revenge on the company that would not hire him by opening up his own theater company directly across the street. Which of these is the real story that we found in the week's news?
TAYLOR-STUON: Wow. As much as I would love to take in a production of "Last Breath Of A Tradesman," I think I'm going to have to go with Tom's story.
SAGAL: You know, Tom's story of the computer savvy Hells Angels.
TAYLOR-STUON: I want it to be true.
SAGAL: Yes. All right. Well, you chose that story. We spoke to one of the reporters that ended up telling us about this act of revenge.
CAROLINE BARGHOUT: The Hells Angels president asked fellow bikers, Hells Angels, to leave one-star reviews.
SAGAL: That was Caroline Barghout, who's a reporter for the CBC, talking to us about the Hells Angels' terrible vengeance. Congratulations, Dan. You got it right. You earned a point for Tom. You've won our prize - the voice of anyone from our show on your voicemail. Yay.
BODETT: Thank you, Dan.
TAYLOR-STUON: Thank you so much.
SAGAL: Thank you for playing.
NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.