Bluff The Listener Our panelists read three stories about a new frontier for home security, only one of which is true.
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Bluff The Listener

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Bluff The Listener

Bluff The Listener

Bluff The Listener

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Our panelists read three stories about a new frontier for home security, only one of which is true.

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Negin Farsad and Brian Babylon. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you...

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: ...Bill. Thanks, everybody.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Right now, it's time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

KATHY CRAIG: Hey, Peter.

SAGAL: Hey, who's this?

CRAIG: This is Kathy Craig from Columbia, S.C.

SAGAL: Columbia, S.C. - how are things there?

CRAIG: Pretty nice.

SAGAL: And what do you do there?

CRAIG: I'm a part-time picture framer. I'm a full-time mom of six kids.

SAGAL: Oh, what? Six children - what's the age range?

CRAIG: Well, they're getting big. There's 25 down to 13. But they still keep coming around.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Are you leaving food out?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Kathy. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Kathy's topic?

KURTIS: No trespassing.

SAGAL: It can be tough to defend your home and hearth. Locks can be broken. The electric eels in your moat require constant care. This week, we read about a new frontier in home security. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the real one, you'll win our prize - the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?

CRAIG: I think so.

SAGAL: I hope so because here we go. Let's first hear a story of home security from Negin Farsad.

NEGIN FARSAD: Hey, ladies. If you're worried about the dangers of being home alone at night, there's a new product for you. From Japan - the country whose main export is Hello Kitty and Pocky sticks - comes Man on a Curtain. This aptly titled service projects an image of a fake shadow boyfriend onto any curtain in your home.

(LAUGHTER)

FARSAD: The criminal sees the shadowy boyfriend, assumes it's real and then gets scared and runs away, obviously. These strapping shadow puppets can be programmed to do some casual boxing on your curtain. They can do karate or even swing a baseball bat because you know how men like to randomly swing a baseball bat around...

(LAUGHTER)

FARSAD: ...In the living room. I feel like all dudes do that, right? But aggro sports isn't all these shadows do. You can also program them to get dressed, putting on pants over and over again on a loop.

(LAUGHTER)

FARSAD: Or he can walk around naked with only the socks on.

(LAUGHTER)

FARSAD: One of the company's original options involved the shadow boyfriend vacuuming, which critics argued was unrealistic.

(LAUGHTER)

FARSAD: The company has since scrapped that design along with other settings where the shadow is dusting, doing the laundry or asking about your feelings.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Man on a Curtain...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...A system from Japan which projects the moving shadow of a fictional man onto your curtains. Your next story of someone guarding their homestead comes from Paula Poundstone.

POUNDSTONE: Living in the area surrounding the Chateau Rouge Metro stop in Paris, France, can be dangerous. It's a bit sketchy. That's why resident art teacher Janae Pillion (ph) started her security company, Sketchy Sketches. She put her drawing students out on the street. Among her clients are neighborhood residents, the metro and the city itself. If someone commits a crime, one of Mademoiselle Pillion's students is likely to have a sketch of them. (Imitating French accent) sometimes it's hard to draw in a shrub at night...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: ...Says art student Emil St. Clair (ph). (Imitating French accent) sometimes I get the nose right, but it ends up under the guy's mouth.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: (Imitating French accent) It's like if Picasso was a police sketch artist.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Student Flavio Cairo (ph) drew a perfect likeness of a tagger on the same wall a few feet down from the vandal who was painting racial epithets.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Cairo captioned his sketch with an arrow and the words (imitating French accent) this is the [expletive] who wrote this.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Sketchy Sketchers...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...Whereby art students sketch everybody in the neighborhood so the police can nab them. Your last story of a new home security system comes from Brian Babylon.

BRIAN BABYLON: Coleman Bryce (ph) of Stuttgart, Germany, was very concerned when a rash of home burglaries were happening in his affluent neighborhood. And with a two-month yachting adventure right around the corner, he needed to think of a way to protect not only his house but his extensive collection of Faberge eggs.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: I had to think of something beyond fancy security systems, says Bryce, because all of my neighbors had top-line security systems and even some of them had armed security guards, and they all still got robbed. That's where Bryce's sister-in-law, Jessica Malkin (ph), a attorney at a record label, came up with this great idea of letting her top hip-hop client, rapper Travis Scott (ph) house sit. It was great, says Scott. Me and my 13 boys rode deep into this fancy German town.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: I don't think they see this much swag all at once over here.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Travis and his entourage set up shop at Coleman's house and had a blast. This is one of my top cookouts, says Scott. We eat ribs, beer and some Faberge eggs in a baller German hood - it's kind of lit.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Colman's neighbors reported that not only did no strangers disturb the house while Scott and his friends were there, no one came near the neighborhood the entire time.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Let us review. One of these is a way that security is being provided somewhere in the world. Is it, from Negin Farsad, Man on a Curtain, a system in Japan which projects an exercising and dangerous-looking guy moving around onto your window curtains; from Paula Poundstone, Sketchy Sketches, in which a neighborhood in Paris is protected by art students sketching everybody who walks by; or from Brian, baller nightwatch parties in which hip-hop artists are imported from America to sort of lighten up a neighborhood in Germany? Which of these is the real story of home security?

CRAIG: I think it's the first one - Man on a Curtain.

SAGAL: You think it's Negin's story about the projections of men onto curtains.

CRAIG: Come on, Negin. Come on. Help me out.

SAGAL: All right, you've chosen Negin's story.

FARSAD: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Well, we spoke to someone familiar with the real story.

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON: The resident can select up to 12 different actions for their shadow boyfriend to perform.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That was a description of the shadow boxing security man from Reuters. Congratulations, Kathy, you got it right. You've earned a point for Negin simply for telling a true story well. And you have won our prize - the voice of anyone you like on your voicemail. Congratulations.

FARSAD: Thank you.

CRAIG: Thank you.

SAGAL: Thank you...

CRAIG: Thank you, Peter.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...So much for playing, Kathy.

(SOUNDBITE OF THE VENTURES'S "NO TRESPASSING")

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