Panel Questions New Game: Meet our NATO Allies!, Shopper Joes
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Panel Questions

Panel Questions

Panel Questions

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New Game: Meet our NATO Allies!, Shopper Joes

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Right now, panel, time for a game that we are calling...

BILL KURTIS: Meet Our NATO Allies.

SAGAL: This week, as we discussed, Donald Trump said some things about our NATO allies that were not very nice, so we're going to ask you about some things they may or may not have called him. Tell us if what Bill says is real or fake. If you're right, you got a point. All right. Paula, here is a headline from a German newspaper. Is it real or fake?

KURTIS: "Ist Donald Trump Ein Sexmonster?"

(LAUGHTER)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Oh, that's got to be fake.

SAGAL: No, it's real.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Another German paper called Trump a horror clown.

(LAUGHTER)

ADAM BURKE: By the way, horror clown and sex monsters are both the names of colognes that he definitely wears.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: OK, Adam. Yours is from the U.K., appropriately enough. The BBC ran this headline - is it real or fake?

KURTIS: Is Donald Trump a sex monster?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Real or fake?

BURKE: I mean, it wouldn't be the first thing that British took from the Germans.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: Or anyone else for that matter. Let's be honest. I'd say that's true.

SAGAL: No, it was actually fake. The BBC headline read, "Is Donald Trump A Sex Pest?"

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: OK, Faith - real or fake? This is from a former communications director for a NATO country.

KURTIS: "Trump Is A Unicorn Riding A Unicorn Over A Rainbow."

SAGAL: Real or fake?

FAITH SALIE: (Laughter) What?

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: That is so unfair to unicorns.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: It's a different tone.

SALIE: It's an unnamed country. You're not going to tell me.

SAGAL: Nope.

SALIE: I mean - it's real.

SAGAL: It is real.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The...

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

SAGAL: ...NATO country is the U.S. That is from Sean Spicer's upcoming memoir.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Wow.

POUNDSTONE: No, that's not true, is it?

SAGAL: It is. Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: He - Sean Spicer said - what is it?

SAGAL: He said, Trump is a unicorn riding a unicorn over a rainbow.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: That seems way more pro-gay marriage than Sean Spicer.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

BURKE: (Unintelligible).

SAGAL: All right. It's time for some more questions for you guys from the week's news. Faith, according to a report this week, supermarkets are changing their strategy and attempting to appeal to a new customer base. Who is it?

SALIE: They're changing their strategy.

SAGAL: Right.

SALIE: I need a hint.

SAGAL: You need a hint, do you?

SALIE: Please.

SAGAL: Well, it has to do with the sort of modern division of labor in the home.

SALIE: Oh, no. Really?

SAGAL: Yeah.

SALIE: So this is like - so all - so it's brand-new. Oh, men have found their way to the supermarkets.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's - you think you're joking.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But it is true. Polls show that more men are doing the grocery shopping.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: So grocery stores...

SALIE: God bless them.

SAGAL: I know.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We're doing our best. So...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: There's a commercial on TV right now for Senekot where a lady has just done the grocery shopping...

SAGAL: Hold on, stop. What is Senekot?

POUNDSTONE: It's a constipation drug.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: And so there's a lady who's just on the - the bags are out, she's going - the guy walks in, the husband walks into the kitchen and starts just picking stuff up from the bag - like, not putting it away - just picking - and he picks up a thing, and he goes, Senakoot (ph)? Now...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: First of all, it's S-E-N-A-K-O-T. It's phonetic. It couldn't be any easier to pronounce.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: And he goes, what's that? And they both sort of freeze. And she goes, sometimes I get constipated.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: And he puts it back in the bag. He doesn't put it away. And I think, you know what? That's what he does. He just comes in, and he seems baffled by everything in the bag.

SALIE: And that's why she's constipated.

POUNDSTONE: Like, part of it.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: His first question was, what room is this?

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah.

SALIE: (Laughter).

POUNDSTONE: He picks the thing up, and he goes, Cheery-Oz (ph)? What are these?

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: And, finally, she just goes, get the hell out. I'll do it myself.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Polls show that more men are doing grocery shopping.

POUNDSTONE: (Laughter).

SAGAL: So grocery stores are now offering things like butchery classes and so-called beer dens to encourage the men to stay longer. If that doesn't work, the next step will be re-labeling the chicken breasts to be chicken boobs.

(SOUNDBITE OF THE METERS' "FUNKY MIRACLE")

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