Panel Questions The world's oldest profession.
NPR logo

Panel Questions

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/637793573/637811596" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript
Panel Questions

Panel Questions

Panel Questions

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/637793573/637811596" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript

The world's oldest profession.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Amy, a new service in Japan allows you to rent a what for as little as $9 an hour?

AMY DICKINSON: Oh. Does it - is it a sex robot?

SAGAL: It is not a sex robot.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In fact, some people might say...

DICKINSON: Oh, sorry. Did I say that out loud?

SAGAL: You did.

DICKINSON: Oh.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Nine dollars an hour - a mom?

SAGAL: No. I will just say...

DICKINSON: A lactating mother?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I'm intrigued with your thought process here, Amy.

BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: It just seemed that that would be worth it.

SAGAL: I'll give you one more hint, and that is that these people are presumed to have wisdom.

DICKINSON: A grandparent?

SAGAL: No. It's...

DICKINSON: A therapist?

SAGAL: No. It's much more generic than that. I'll just tell you. For $9 an hour in Japan, you can rent the services of a middle-aged man.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: A middle - what would you...

PETER GROSZ: I'm surrounded by middle-aged men.

DICKINSON: ...Want one of those for?

SAGAL: Well, that's the...

GOLDTHWAIT: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I didn't say...

(CHEERING)

GROSZ: Excuse me.

DICKINSON: I have two I'll give you for free.

SAGAL: I did not say that you would want to rent one of these. I said that you could.

GOLDTHWAIT: But what do you use them for?

SAGAL: Let me explain.

GOLDTHWAIT: Thank you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Do you need some sage advice? Do you have a lot of things to carry and you want to make sure that you have cargo pants conveniently nearby?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Rent a middle-aged man. This is now a real service in Japan, so book your flight to Tokyo, rent your car from Hertz and then rent your man from Everything Hurts.

DICKINSON: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The same rules apply, though. You got to check all around the middle-aged man for dings. And it came full of gas, so you have to return it full of gas.

DICKINSON: Oh, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: No problem there.

SAGAL: The idea is that these men in their late 40s into their 50s can offer the wisdom of age to someone.

GOLDTHWAIT: Because it's really hard to get a middle-aged guy to pipe up about his opinion.

SAGAL: Yeah, it's terrible.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: They're so...

GOLDTHWAIT: You've got to draw it out of them.

DICKINSON: You do (laughter).

GOLDTHWAIT: I don't - I can't - I don't know who the target audience is for this.

DICKINSON: But, you know what? Think about it. Wait. It's cheaper than a Uber, probably. For an hour, you could just get one to drive you around...

SAGAL: I guess you could.

DICKINSON: ...Or carry your stuff.

GROSZ: If all you wanted to do was, like, talk about the route that you were taking.

DICKINSON: That's true.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: I get lost in it.

SAGAL: And tell you how it could be better.

GROSZ: Yeah.

GOLDTHWAIT: And knows a faster way.

SAGAL: Yeah.

GOLDTHWAIT: I've never said, you know what would make this great is if someone chewed with their mouth open and had really weird, unexplainable tiny white flecks on their...

GROSZ: Yeah.

GOLDTHWAIT: ...T-shirts.

GROSZ: And they were like, hey, I'm going to cut my toenails now in front of you. Is that OK?

(SOUNDBITE OF NEIL YOUNG SONG, "OLD MAN")

SAGAL: Coming up, om, my God - it's our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.

Copyright © 2018 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.