Bluff The Listener
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Adam Felber and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
SAGAL: Thanks, everybody. Right now it is time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air.
Hi, you are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
CALEB: Hi, this is Caleb (ph) from Sioux Center, Iowa.
SAGAL: Caleb from Sioux Center, Iowa...
SAGAL: That is a very fitting name. Classically, somebody from Sioux Center will be called Caleb. Do you walk around wearing overalls and no shirt?
CALEB: Only during - between June and the end of August.
SAGAL: I understand. What do you...
SAGAL: What do you do there in Iowa?
CALEB: I'm studying secondary education and history.
SAGAL: Oh, that's awesome. You're going to be a high-school teacher.
CALEB: Yes, that's the plan.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: I bet you'll be good at it...
POUNDSTONE: ...Because, so far, I've listened to everything you've said.
CALEB: (Unintelligible) more than I can say for some of my friends, so...
SAGAL: Caleb, it is very nice to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you must tell truth from fiction. What is the topic, Bill?
KURTIS: Summer is ruined.
SAGAL: Summer is almost over. The good news is, at this point, winter will probably also be super hot.
SAGAL: This week, we came across a story about somebody's summer plans being ruined. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win our prize - the voice from our show of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to play?
CALEB: I am.
SAGAL: All right. First, let's hear it from Mr. Adam Felber.
ADAM FELBER: Sure, it's expensive to get there, but when you finally make it to Euro Disney, and you're standing in front of Cinderella's castle, and you see the looks on the faces of young Horst and little Greta as they reach out to shake the hand of Mickey Mouse, it's all worth it - that is, until a dude runs up from behind, rips Mickey's head off and screams, the mouse is a lie.
FELBER: That scene has been playing itself out all summer as radical animal rights group Untamed has made it their business to infiltrate the Magic Kingdom and unmask Disney's beloved mascots. Says Untamed spokesman Kelly Arcoin (ph), (imitating accent) when you appropriate an animal's image, you are stealing. Animals are not your playthings. We need to show these children that this so-called duck they see is not in fact a duck and that no one should ever, ever dress a duck in a sailor suit.
FELBER: The only character to escape their actions - Winnie the Pooh. Arcoin says, (imitating accent) he is based on a cartoon about a child's stuffed bear, making that costume a representation of a representation of a representation, which poses a philosophical dilemma for us. Plus, he's so cute.
SAGAL: Animal activists beheading the characters at Euro Disney. Your next story about summer not going quite as planned comes from Paula Poundstone.
POUNDSTONE: People love dolphins. They come from all over the world and pay a ton of money to swim with dolphins on their birthday. Not the dolphin's birthday - what dolphin would ask to swim with a human for its birthday?
POUNDSTONE: Well, there is one. In the French city of Brest, a dolphin the local beach-goers have nicknamed Zafar has been hanging around the shallow waters, reportedly rubbing up against boats and swimmers alike. And now that the dolphin has made the first move in the relationship, people are a little freaked out by it. A kayaker said it jumped over its head. One female bather had to be rescued by a boat because the dolphin wouldn't let her swim back to the beach. And another guy claimed to have been confronted by the dolphin, which seemed anxious to interact.
POUNDSTONE: The comments have an undercurrent of unwanted sexual advances from the dolphin...
POUNDSTONE: ...And no allegations of Zafar the dolphin paying hush money.
SAGAL: A frisky dolphin, shall we say, keeping swimmers out of the water off the beaches of Brest, France.
SAGAL: Your last story of somebody's summer just falling apart comes from Roxanne Roberts.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: The only thing Vladimir Putin likes better than subverting democracies is taking off his shirt.
ROBERTS: Quote, "When I'm on vacation, I see no need to hide in the bushes," he told an Austrian journalist in June. So popular is the longtime president that 125 Russian tourists paid the equivalent of $2,500 each for last week's Siberian safari at a rustic resort in Tuva, the remote region where Putin spends every summer. The hunt of this safari was to spot and photograph Putin bare-chested, and expectations were high. Quote, "I was so sure I would see him in the flesh," Julian Strover (ph) told local reporters. "I was so excited to see my hero." But, alas, it was not to be. Quote, "We spotted him from a distance, but he was wearing a jacket and a hat, she explained. I couldn't believe it. It ruined my vacation." Apparently, no one saw Putin half-naked. Some of the disappointed tourists speculated that Putin had put on weight this spring and hid the fact in custom suits.
ROBERTS: The only winners in this scandal - Moscow newspaper, which have dubbed this scandal the latest Russian cover-up.
SAGAL: All right.
SAGAL: I hope your summer was really perfect, but it wasn't for what group of people? Was it, from Adam, kids who went to Euro Disney only to see their beloved characters beheaded by animal activists? From Paula, bathers in Brest, France, who couldn't go in the water because of an amorous dolphin? Or, from Roxanne, tourists who paid big bucks to see their beloved President Putin shirtless but never got the chance? Which of these is the story of a summer vacation ruined?
CALEB: I love all three of those, but I think I'm going to go with our overly frisky dolphin friend.
SAGAL: You're going to go with...
SAGAL: ...The overly frisky dolphin. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to a journalist who covered this very important story.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)
ALLYSON CHIU: There is a dolphin in France that...
CHIU: ...Has been exhibiting behaviors consistent with being in heat.
SAGAL: That was Allyson Chiu, a reporter for The Washington Post, talking about Zafar, le dauphin amoureux...
SAGAL: ...From France. Congratulations, Caleb. You got it right. You earned a point for Paula.
SAGAL: You've won our prize - the voice of anyone from our show on your voicemail. Thank you so much for playing with us today, Caleb, and good luck...
CALEB: Thank you.
SAGAL: ...With that teaching career.
CALEB: Thank you.
SAGAL: Take care.
POUNDSTONE: Bye, Caleb.
FELBER: Bye, Caleb.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "BABY, I NEED YOUR LOVING")
THE FOUR TOPS: (Singing) Baby, I need your loving, got to have all your loving. Baby, I...
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