Panel Questions Kids With No Cents, Doggone Wind, Naming Rights and Wrongs.
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Panel Questions

Panel Questions

Panel Questions

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Kids With No Cents, Doggone Wind, Naming Rights and Wrongs.

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Luke Burbank, Maeve Higgins and Alonzo Bodden. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Right now it's time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air.

Hi. You're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

JUSTIN STRICKLAND: Hey, Peter. This is Justin Strickland from the Scenic City, Chattanooga, Tenn.

SAGAL: Hey.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Have you heard anything from Amazon recently?

(LAUGHTER)

STRICKLAND: No, no. I don't think we're going to be the home of the headquarters.

SAGAL: They'll come back to you. They'll realize what's important in a city.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: What do you do there in Chattanooga?

STRICKLAND: I work in hospitality. But actually, I'm a local railroad historian. I've written a book about the train stations in Chattanooga. And...

SAGAL: Wait a minute.

STRICKLAND: Yeah?

SAGAL: You write about the Chattanooga Choo Choos?

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

STRICKLAND: (Singing) Pardon me, boy. Is that the...

SAGAL: Pardon me, boy.

KURTIS: (Singing) Pardon me, boy.

STRICKLAND: I came down from Nashville. I moved here because of the railroad history. And I wrote the book about it, and the rest is history.

LUKE BURBANK: Meanwhile, I'm never allowed to promote my books on this show.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Justin. It's nice to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. What is the topic, Bill?

KURTIS: Mooooooom (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Moms - they're not just the people you used to live inside of; they also want to help you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But this week, we heard the story of a mom that maybe went a little too far. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth; you'll win our prize, the WAIT WAIT-er (ph) of your choice on your voicemail. Ready to play?

STRICKLAND: Let's go for it.

SAGAL: All right. First up, let's hear from Luke Burbank.

BURBANK: A potential disaster was narrowly averted last week when two armed F-18 Hornets were scrambled to respond to an airborne disturbance over an elementary school in the town of Sedro-Woolley, Wash. We didn't know if it was going to be al-Qaida or aliens, pilot John Bolden told the Skagit Valley Herald. It just looked like a cluster of some kind of small war craft on the radar. It turned out to be something much more sinister, five drones being piloted by five different parents watching their kids play during recess.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Apparently, things started when Jan Saperstein, the mom of Braden, a fourth-grader, heard from her son that the other kids were cheating at tetherball. Using a drone camera that her older son, Kaden, had, quote, "begged for and then never used, not even once," Jan did uncover rampant tetherball and hopscotch cheating and even photo documented it, sending the drone pics to the school administrators. This led to a number of the accused kids' parents buying their own drones to gather their own evidence. The number eventually grew to five, known in aviation circles as an overparenting of drones.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: The mid-air dogfights that had started breaking out posed a real danger to the students. But it was actually the noise from all those drones that proved to be the final straw, when 87-year-old Lloyd Laritz who lived near the school emerged from his house in full duck hunting camo and started shooting at the aircraft with a shotgun.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: That was when the U.S. military got involved. And that was when Mary Purcell Elementary School officially banned all drones. Now, staring daggers across the parking lot during after-school pickup, that is still allowed.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A drone dog dogfight...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...As overprotective mothers in Washington state tried to monitor their elementary school kids.

Your next story of a mom that can't stop mom-ing (ph) comes from Alonzo Bodden.

ALONZO BODDEN: Every grandmother thinks their grandchild is perfect. But if you had the chance, wouldn't you want to make sure before it was too late? Roger Kato's mom, Lindsay, was delighted when he told her that he and his girlfriend Wendy were engaged. But Lindsay became obsessed with one question, and it wasn't the wedding date. What would her future grandchild look like? How about their health? Since Wendy's relatives weren't around, the only solution was to get a sample of Wendy's DNA. She thought it would be easy. But as it turned out, her future daughter-in-law is a bit of a germaphobe. Mom offered Wendy a taste of cookie dough thinking she'd get DNA from the spoon, and Wendy whipped out her own sterilized spoon.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Mom suggested to Wendy that she looked feverish and offered to take her temperature, but Wendy had her own ear thermometer.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Mom tried the direct approach, saying it would be fun for the family to send in their DNA and find out their backgrounds. Wendy's response? Those companies keep and sell personal info, so no way. By this point, Lindsay was convinced Wendy was a spy or a mutant or worse. She had to have that sample, which is why Lindsay Kato, 63, was arrested at 3 a.m. at the offices of a Tustin, Calif., gynecologist in the possession of a stolen urine sample.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: As a first-time offender, Ms. Kato will most likely be sentenced to the minimum six weeks in jail. But having finally gotten Wendy to show her some family pictures, she will spend the time in jail bragging to her cellmates about her tall, blond future grandchildren with a pension for athletics.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A future grandma tries to steal her future daughter-in-law's DNA.

And your last story of a grizzly mom comes from Maeve Higgins.

MAEVE HIGGINS: Is there anything better than a mother's love? One Maryland mom certainly think so. She wants an actual lover's love for her son. The woman's name is unknown, but she was spotted on Towson University's campus desperately trying to find her son a date. The Baltimore Sun - which is a newspaper, not her actual son...

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: ...Reported this week that a woman in her 50s was approaching people and showing them photos of her baby boy all grown up and asking them to date him.

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: Chief Charles Herring said her reported behavior may cause concern. He did not specify to whom it would cause concern, but it's widely assumed he meant her absolute virgin of a child.

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: University officials say that the woman is not being sought for any criminal investigation. But they do want her to refrain from hustling her son's photo around campus - even if it does have that cute puppy Instagram filter.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Somewhere, there was a story of an over interested mother. Was it from Luke Burbank, a mother who sent a drone to monitor her kid at elementary school leading to a kind of aerial arms race above the playground; from Alonzo, a future grandma who did everything she could, including breaking and entering, to get a genetic sample of her future daughter-in-law; or from Maeve, a woman stalking the campus of a university in Maryland trying to find a date for her son. Which of these is the real story of an over mothering mother?

STRICKLAND: Wow.

(LAUGHTER)

STRICKLAND: I think it's going to be Maeve's story. I think she's telling the truth.

SAGAL: You think Maeve is telling the truth. That's the one about the mother who's trying to find her son a date...

(APPLAUSE)

STRICKLAND: Yeah, that sounds like (unintelligible).

SAGAL: ...With pictures.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well, we could not find the mother in question, but we did speak to a reporter who was covering this story.

GEORGE SOLIS: A woman in her 50s was going around campus with a picture on her phone of her son. And she was asking people if they'd be willing to find a date for him.

(SOUNDBITE OF TRAIN BELL SOUNDING)

SAGAL: That was George Solis - he's a reporter for WJZ-13 in Baltimore - talking about the mom trying to find her son a date at Towson University.

(SOUNDBITE OF TRAIN BELL SOUNDING)

HIGGINS: Is that the train in...

SAGAL: I think it's the train, I think, yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You're on the train now. Anyway, you have figured it out. It was in fact Maeve who was telling the truth. You have won our prize and a point for Maeve. Congratulations.

HIGGINS: Thank you for choo-choo-choosing (ph) me.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Take care, Justin.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "PICTURE ME GONE")

MADELINE BELL: (Singing) So baby, when you look me over before you tell me that it's over, picture me in someone else's arms. Picture me - baby, picture me in someone else's arms - making love to...

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