Panel Questions Kids With No Cents, Doggone Wind, Naming Rights and Wrongs.
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Panel Questions

Panel Questions

Panel Questions

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Kids With No Cents, Doggone Wind, Naming Rights and Wrongs.

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Maeve Higgins, Luke Burbank and Alonzo Bodden. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill lights some candles and gets rhythmantic (ph) in our Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. All right, guys - some questions about the week's news.

Alonzo, The Wall Street Journal reports that kids today are confused and mystified whenever they encounter what?

ALONZO BODDEN: Kids are confused and mystified today by - there's so so much. Just...

SAGAL: It's something you and I are used to. But kids these days, as they say, have had very little experience with it, so they don't know what it is when it shows up in front of them.

BODDEN: Oh, they're confused by cash.

SAGAL: Yes, they're confused by currency.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Store owners report children being bewildered by currency - paper and coins. And parents say they have to teach their kids how to identify money. Well, it's the thing with all the old white men on it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, not the U.S. Senate.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: With most shopping being done online and more and more stores not even accepting cash, kids just never see actual currency. In fact, there's a new edition of Monopoly that doesn't even have cash. It has little debit cards for each player. That's true.

BODDEN: Again Peter, you know, I hate to be the cultural one whenever I'm here.

SAGAL: Yeah?

BODDEN: But I just don't think black kids are confused by money.

SAGAL: Really?

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

BODDEN: I just think - you know, you go to a black child or a Latino child and say, here's some money, they're going to be like, thank you. They're not going to be like - what is that?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They're going to be going up to the...

BODDEN: What is this money thing you speak of? Oh, no.

MAEVE HIGGINS: Should I blow my nose upon it?

BODDEN: Yeah, that's not going to happen.

SAGAL: Think about if we lose money. Just money - if it all goes away eventually, think of the traditions that will be lost. Young kids standing in front of a wishing well - they close their eyes, they make a wish, and then they throw your iPhone down it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Maeve, as high winds affected the Midwest this week, the National Weather Service issued a warning for people with what?

HIGGINS: Tornado warning.

SAGAL: No, no, no.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They issued - I mean, they're saying to people you have to...

HIGGINS: Oh, yeah. OK.

SAGAL: ...Watch for this, you have to - but especially...

HIGGINS: Oh, very light people.

SAGAL: No. Well...

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: With...

SAGAL: Yes?

HIGGINS: With light - you know how some people have heavy bones or whatever?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: So they issued a warning for people...

SAGAL: That's been my excuse my entire life.

HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: No, seriously. You're almost there. People with...

HIGGINS: Yeah.

SAGAL: People with...

HIGGINS: Oh, balloons - people holding balloons.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yes, Midwesterners do not be going outside in the vor-nado (ph) with...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, people who have something that they might care about that might get blown away.

HIGGINS: Oh. Oh, my - a little dog.

SAGAL: Yes, little dogs.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

HIGGINS: Oh, my God.

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: This city.

SAGAL: Hang on to your hats, ladies and gentlemen, especially if you wear a Shih Tzu as a hat.

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: Cute.

SAGAL: This week - oh, it's adorable. This week, the National Weather Service warned that in some parts of the Midwest, wind gusts might be strong enough to carry away smaller pets.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So while the...

BODDEN: Wasn't there a movie about that?

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: Yeah. You are in Kansas now, Toto.

SAGAL: Exactly, yeah.

HIGGINS: You started in Chicago.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: While the Midwest struggles with these windy conditions, the East Coast is enjoying an influx of free dogs...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Dog-nado (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They actually - the NWS tweeted out a picture of a little dog getting blown away. Watch out, they said. The photo was adorable and hilarious and undoubtedly inspired pet owners to throw caution to the winds - that is, pet owners who had named their Chihuahuas Caution.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Fly, Caution.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Luke, a new study shows that if you want your son to behave in school, you should really avoid doing what?

LUKE BURBANK: Do - can I get a hint?

SAGAL: Well, I'm afraid to say your parents absolutely did this to you, Luke.

BURBANK: Oh - don't name them Luke?

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The study looked at the behavior of over 60,000 elementary school kids. And they found there is a correlation between the kids and the names they had. For example, kids named Adam were generally well-behaved, whereas Lukes got into more trouble. Don't worry, though. They said as long as their last name is not a city in Southern California, they'll be fine.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: There is one name that did worse, Luke, so don't feel bad - although I confess I've never met someone named Murder Boy.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Wow. That explains a lot, Peter.

SAGAL: Did you feel mischievous and angry because you were Luke?

BURBANK: I didn't...

SAGAL: People would say, Luke. And you'd go - (shouting) what?

BURBANK: I did not like my name at all. But I got on, like, a baseball team where we got jackets with our names stitched in them.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURBANK: And I said I'm going to change my name as soon as I grow out of this jacket. And then I was done growing because I was, like, 16.

SAGAL: Yeah, that's it. So your name (unintelligible).

BURBANK: So I'm still Luke. You're welcome.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "THAT'S NOT MY NAME")

THE TING TINGS: (Singing) They call me Hell. They call me Stacey. They call me her. They call me Jane. That's not my name. That's not my name.

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