Limericks Bill Kurtis reads three news-related limericks: Vanity Plates for New Millennium; Lucky Brewski and Brunch Shoes.
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Limericks

Limericks

Limericks

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Bill Kurtis reads three news-related limericks: Vanity Plates for New Millennium; Lucky Brewski and Brunch Shoes.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAITWAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924 - or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago. You can also check out the new WAIT WAIT Quiz on Alexa and Google Home. You could even win the ultimate prize - the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Just say, open the WAIT WAIT Quiz.

Hi, you are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

SANDRA PURNELL: Hi, this is Sandra Purnell from Madison, Wis.

SAGAL: Oh, how are things up in Madison?

PURNELL: Cold.

SAGAL: Cold - they're a little colder than they are in Chicago. What do you do there?

PURNELL: I'm a sous-chef.

SAGAL: You're a sous-chef. And do you work at some kind of restaurant?

PURNELL: No, I actually work for the greatest bicycle company in Waterloo, Wis.

SAGAL: Really?

PURNELL: Yeah.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Wait a minute. You're a sous-chef at a bike place?

PURNELL: Yeah. We serve great, healthy, tasty food to all of the employees. We are kind of out in the country, so it's great for them to not have to go look for good food.

SAGAL: Right.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, that's wonderful.

SAGAL: Does everybody ride their bikes to work, I hope?

PURNELL: Quite a few do, actually, even in this weather.

SAGAL: Do you?

PURNELL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, Sandra, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is going to read for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in just two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play?

PURNELL: Ready.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: Smileys and thumbs-up - we know these. They give letters and numbers a slow squeeze. The police are annoyed by cop, poop, tears of joy. My vanity plate has...

PURNELL: Emojis.

SAGAL: Emojis.

KURTIS: Yes. Wow.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: I knew you'd get it.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: If you're a driver in Queensland, Australia, be on the lookout for new emoji vanity license plates. Gone are the days when you only had letters and numbers to reveal your narcissism to the world. Now you can throw in a laughing face, a hard-eyed smiley face and eggplant.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In case you can't afford a Hummer, just put an eggplant and people will understand.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I mean, I guess it's nice that people can do that - you know, spice up their license plate. But it's going to make police chases really confusing. Attention, all units, be on the lookout for a Honda Civic, plate No. 5, Peach, Thumbs-Up, Crying Emoji, Hamburger, Bagel, Bagel.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: With blue diamonds, green clover and cheer, your hangover helper is here. Our IPAs boast a sweet marshmallow roast. It's our magical Lucky Charms...

PURNELL: Blech, beer.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Very good.

SAGAL: The correct response - blech, beer. If you're the type of person who hears beer and thinks, Saturday morning, have we...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Have we got a product for you. It's an IPA made with pounds of Lucky Charms marshmallows in a new recipe the craft brewers are calling, the end of our industry forever, and...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Magically revolting.

(LAUGHTER)

FAITH SALIE: Am I the only person who doesn't know what IPA means?

POUNDSTONE: No, I was just going to ask.

SAGAL: India pale ale. It's a kind of beer.

SALIE: It's like a genre of beer.

SAGAL: A genre of beer.

SALIE: OK.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: I don't like beer, but...

SAGAL: Clearly.

SALIE: ...If they made a Count Chocula beer...

SAGAL: Really?

SALIE: ...I would totally be into that - even a Cap'n Crunch Berries.

SAGAL: How about a Franken Berry beer?

SALIE: Oh, yeah.

SAGAL: Yeah. How about a Trix beer? That would be for kids.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: Not a brunch, but a home for my raw toes. My shoes are like foods that a spa knows. The soles are almost like some golden-brown toast, and the top is like mashed...

PURNELL: I'm not getting it.

SAGAL: Millennials like this mashed on top of toast.

PURNELL: Avocados.

KURTIS: Yes.

SAGAL: Yes, avocados.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Yes.

SAGAL: Apparently, you can now buy avocado toast shoes.

SALIE: What?

SAGAL: That's - they cost $140 a pair, or the equivalent of two orders of avocado toast.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They're not really avocado toast. Their souls are brown like bread, and the shoes - the laces are a wonderful green. Oh, no, now they're brown, too.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The shoes are going to be quite the hit because who doesn't see food and think feet?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You know what a good food would be to make into a shoe? A foot-long hot dog - always the right size.

SALIE: (Laughter).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Sandra do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Sandra pulled it out with a 3-0 win.

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

KURTIS: Good going.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: She's a power house.

PURNELL: Thanks, everybody.

SAGAL: Thank you so much, Sandra, for playing.

PURNELL: Thanks, guys. Love you. Bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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