Panel Questions The Mueller Effect, Say cheese!
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Panel Questions

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Panel Questions

Panel Questions

Panel Questions

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The Mueller Effect, Say cheese!

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Peter Grosz, Adam Felber and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thanks, everybody. In just a minute, like a lime to a lemon, a lemon to a lime, Bill Kurtis will be here to show you how to rhyme. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Peter, this week, an NPR report focused on a new crisis for our nation's elderly - the desire to extend their life expectancy long enough to see what?

PETER GROSZ: To see their friends die before them.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: To see great-grandchildren or something?

SAGAL: No, no, no. Who cares about that?

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Yeah. No - political - political.

GROSZ: Oh, something now? Oh, they want to live past Trump's presidency.

SAGAL: Not quite - according to some rumors in the press, it might be as soon as next week. Some people say they have to stay alive until, like, later in the spring.

GROSZ: (Laughter) They want to live to see the Mueller report?

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

ADAM FELBER: Wow.

GROSZ: Wait a second. So I thought it was, like, a matter of, like, years of, like - you know, like...

SAGAL: No, no. They just want to see the Mueller report.

GROSZ: ...I want to live to see my grandchild get married.

SAGAL: The NPR story described a 93-year-old man who was on his deathbed.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And he suddenly sat up, you know, from what presumably was his terminal coma and looked at his son and said his last words, quote, "Oh, bleep. I'm not going to see the Mueller report, am I?"

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: He'll get the Mueller report he wants in heaven, probably.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: This is apparently...

GROSZ: So what are they saying? Don't unplug me. They're, like, reversing their DNR...

SAGAL: Exactly. Exactly.

GROSZ: ...So they can like...

SAGAL: No, I want to live. This is common with seniors all over the country. Some of them added that, once the report does come out, it wouldn't hurt if their grandkids called them once in a while with the details.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In order to extend their lifespan, in order to live long enough to see this news, doctors are recommending that seniors stop watching the news.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Peter, the latest dumb thing people are doing in the Internet - well, they're posting videos of happy parents doing what to their babies?

GROSZ: They're happy parents trying to catch their kids up on the most recent season of "The Bachelor," so that they're all up to date.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: They know what's going on. They're throwing their babies?

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Did someone say throwing?

SAGAL: They're not throwing their babies.

GROSZ: All right. Stop giving me hints because you're distracting me. They are throwing something that sounds like keys?

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: They're throwing keys at their babies?

ROBERTS: Baby swap parties.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Everybody put your baby in a fishbowl.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: And then afterwards, we'll just take whatever baby home. So I don't know. OK.

SAGAL: It's a baby, not a cracker.

GROSZ: What do you throw at a cracker?

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: You don't throw anything at a cracker. It's going to break - cheese?

SAGAL: Yes...

GROSZ: What?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...They're throwing cheese at their babies.

GROSZ: Oh, that's what it was. OK. That's what sounded like keys.

SAGAL: This is called cheesing. And all you have to do to take part is film yourself throwing a slice of cheese at your baby's face and post it in the Internet.

FELBER: Should be a slice of American cheese.

SAGAL: Yes, technically, it's a slice of American cheese.

FELBER: Because it couldn't be like - it shouldn't be a hunk of cheese.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Oh.

SAGAL: Yeah. Do not use...

FELBER: Or a wheel.

SAGAL: Don't use a wheel of cheddar.

GROSZ: It's the effect that it hits...

ROBERTS: But...

GROSZ: ...Their face comically and, like, sticks...

SAGAL: Yes.

GROSZ: ...And then slides down?

SAGAL: That's exactly it.

GROSZ: (Laughter) That's worth it. That's funny.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Now that I know what it is, that's funny. Yeah.

FELBER: And then usually bemusedly peel it off their heads and eat it.

GROSZ: (Laughter).

SAGAL: The first cheesing video went up just a week ago. And it got taken down but not before it was seen hundreds of thousands of times and inspired countless imitators.

GROSZ: Wait. It was taken down by the parents or by, like, some - the authorities?

SAGAL: Nobody knows. Somebody said, oh, here, I did this to my baby. And they put it up. And, like, a hundred thousand views later...

GROSZ: And they were like DCFS took my baby. And the FDA took my cheese.

SAGAL: Exactly. He's got nothing. He's got nothing.

FELBER: I'll tell you. This is the first time I've ever wanted to have another kid.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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