Panel Questions Neighborhood watch, build those walls.
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Panel Questions

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Panel Questions

Panel Questions

Panel Questions

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Neighborhood watch, build those walls.

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Jessi Klein and Helen Hong. And here again is your host...

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: ...At the San Diego Civic Theatre in San Diego, Calif., Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, the sorting hat puts Bill in Rhymenclaw (ph) in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from this week's news. Luke, there's a new app which alerts people of nearby crimes and emergencies to help them steer clear of the area. But now that it's out, the creators of the app have discovered one flaw in it. What?

LUKE BURBANK: The crooks are using it?

SAGAL: No. The app works just as it's intended. If you're using it, it says, oh, there's an emergency of this nature in this place. But the problem is people then do what?

BURBANK: Go to where the emergency is.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new app called Citizen alerts people to bad things happening nearby. Instead of running away, people are running to the disasters...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...And crime scenes...

HELEN HONG: What?

SAGAL: ...Because it's well-known selfies in front of bus crashes are guaranteed to get likes on Instagram.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: This is, like, a rubber-necking thing?

SAGAL: Sure. Like, it says, oh, my God. There's a there's a trash fire. There's a bus crash. There's an active shooter. Let's go, you know?

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Yeah. But honestly, we would all go.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah.

JESSI KLEIN: True. But honestly, though, we'd go. so...

BURBANK: We'd - like, I'd be at my house. I'd be, like, wait. There's a clown car on fire...

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: ...Three blocks away? This is way better than what I'm doing right now.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Pics, or it didn't happen.

BURBANK: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You know, it makes so much sense, though. Finding real-life disasters to watch is so much better than Netflix. But it would soon become just like what we normally do for entertainment. You know, a building collapsed. I've already seen that one twice.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Forget trying to pick which disaster to run to with your significant other. You chose carjacking last week. Come on, we never get to see gas leaks.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Is it a relationship issue if your spouse or significant other goes and watches a crash without you?

SAGAL: Yeah, exactly.

BURBANK: Like, we were supposed to watch that together.

SAGAL: Wow. You found out if they survived without me.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Helen, for the past few years, the hottest real estate trend has been the open-concept home - you know, the large, open space with no walls. According to the Boston Globe, residents who have these homes are saying they're great, but they're just missing one thing. What?

HONG: Walls.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Real estate agents are reporting that homeowners are expressing regret for moving into open-concept homes. Families opted for the layout hoping it would promote more family togetherness. But the problem was it did.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Parents are complaining they're unable to watch anything on TV racier than PG if the kids are in the house, right? Spouses are complaining they never have any time to themselves. And walls across the country are trying to make a living driving for Uber.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Wait. So, like, I know I've seen the open concept, like, with the living room and the kitchen.

SAGAL: Yeah. It's basically one enormous room.

HONG: But they also did it with the bedrooms? That sounds insane to me.

SAGAL: Now, the real problem is with the open-concept bathrooms because...

HONG: Ugh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah.

KLEIN: I feel like there are a lot of hotels now with, like, the weird open-concept bathroom.

HONG: I hate that.

SAGAL: That is true. Yeah.

KLEIN: Do you know what I'm talking about - where there's, like, a - they're, like, oh, don't you want to stay in this room where there's a clear wall between the toilet and the bed?

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: So when you're staying here with someone, you're, like, here I am. Do you know what I'm talking about?

BURBANK: Yes.

SAGAL: I know what you're talking about. It's terrifying.

HONG: I do.

HONG: The hotel that we stay in when we go to Chicago, the shower doesn't have a shower door, which I guess is supposed to be chic and novel. But it's just wetness everywhere.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Some homeowners are even undergoing costly renovations to add walls back in. Good news, though - there are plenty of walls for families to choose from down at the Wal-Mart.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Oh, Peter. Come on.

KLEIN: Peter.

HONG: That was the lowest of the low-hanging fruit.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: I'm glad for one week, it's not going to be me.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: The worst joke has been made, and we know what it is.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: How could you make a wall out of ASCIIs, Peter?

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: What would it be - little slash marks?

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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