Lightning Fill In The Blank All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.
NPR logo

Lightning Fill In The Blank

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/713004966/713052817" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript
Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/713004966/713052817" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: All three of our panelists are tied...

SAGAL: Oh, my...

KURTIS: ...At three.

SAGAL: Tied at three.

NEGIN FARSAD: What?

MAEVE HIGGINS: Oh, my God.

SAGAL: OK. I'm just going to randomly pick Maeve to go first. Maeve, fill in the blank. On Thursday, the EU offered to delay blank until October 31.

HIGGINS: Brexit.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, lawmakers in New Zealand overwhelmingly approved a ban on blank.

HIGGINS: White guys.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Assault weapons. On Monday, Virginia beat Texas Tech to win the men's blank title.

HIGGINS: School.

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: The best school award.

SAGAL: If only. The NCAA basketball tournament.

HIGGINS: Oh.

SAGAL: This week, a high school baseball game was canceled after a group of people attempted to dry the field by blanking.

HIGGINS: To dry the field?

SAGAL: Yes.

HIGGINS: By going out there with tea towels?

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: By dumping 25 gallons of gasoline on it and lighting it on fire.

(LAUGHTER)

FARSAD: Jesus.

SAGAL: Happened in Connecticut. On Monday, the White House reversed an Obama-era decision to allow baseball players from blank to play in the U.S. without defecting.

HIGGINS: Cuba?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Oregon were surprised when a 911 call reporting a robbery in progress turned out to be blank.

HIGGINS: It was a bear?

SAGAL: No. It wasn't a bear. It was a Roomba trapped in a bathroom.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The homeowner heard strange noises from a bathroom and called the police, who arrived on the scene with guns drawn. They busted in the door and were surprised to find a Roomba inside - even more surprised when it said, can't you knock?

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: They were like, give me all your dirt.

SAGAL: The woman apologized to the police for wasting their time. And the burglar under her bed breathed a sigh of relief and jumped out the window.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Maeve do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She beat her old record. She got two right.

HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: That gives her four more points, a total of seven. And in her distinct style, she takes the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

HIGGINS: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Alonzo, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Monday, a federal judge blocked the White House's policy forcing blanks to stay in Mexico.

ALONZO BODDEN: Oh, asylum seekers.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, WikiLeaks founder blank was arrested in London.

BODDEN: Julian Assange.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Florida man who stole a jeep but left his phone behind was arrested when he blanked.

BODDEN: Went to get it.

SAGAL: No. He drove up in the stolen Jeep and asked the cops for help finding his phone.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Thursday...

BODDEN: Wait, wait, wait. Wouldn't that be went to get it?

SAGAL: I don't know. Bill, what do you think?

BODDEN: Judges?

KURTIS: Yeah, (unintelligible).

SAGAL: Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODDEN: Yeah.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the CDC warned that a new drug-resistant blank is a global health threat.

BODDEN: A new drug-resistant virus?

SAGAL: No. It's a fungus. This week, a grand jury indicted former Stormy Daniels attorney blank on 36 federal counts.

BODDEN: Aventi (ph).

SAGAL: Yes. Michael Avenatti - close enough.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODDEN: Avenatti.

SAGAL: This week, the owner of a bed and breakfast on the U.S.-Canadian border...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Called the Smuggler's Inn was arrested for blanking.

BODDEN: Smuggling.

SAGAL: Of course.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Why he called it that.

KURTIS: (Unintelligible).

SAGAL: It's on the sign. Canadian police arrested the owner of the Smuggler's Inn for organizing...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Illegal entry into Canada for seven people. He now faces 21 criminal charges, which could come with a hefty jail sentence. The owner says he's going to stay calm and really hopes police don't find out about his other business, the every cake contains a nail file to help you break out of prison bakery.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, he raced to the lead with five right.

FARSAD: Wow.

KURTIS: 10 more points - total of 13.

SAGAL: Very well done.

FARSAD: Did so much better than Maeve.

HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: How many, then...

FARSAD: Noticing that.

SAGAL: ...Does Negin need to win?

KURTIS: She needs six to win in a very difficult field.

FARSAD: Yeah.

SAGAL: Here we go, Negin.

FARSAD: All right.

SAGAL: This is for the game.

FARSAD: OK.

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Steve Mnuchin said the IRS would not meet a House panel's deadline for releasing Donald Trump's blank's.

FARSAD: Tax returns.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Benny Gantz conceded defeat to Israeli Prime Minister blank.

FARSAD: Benjamin Netanyahu.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, New York declared a public health emergency over an outbreak of blank.

FARSAD: Measles.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the White House declared blank's Revolutionary Guard a terrorist group.

FARSAD: Iran.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, police in South Africa said that a missing poacher was likely blanked.

FARSAD: A missing poacher was likely eaten by an elephant?

SAGAL: Oh, so close.

FARSAD: Wait.

HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: I'm going to give it to you.

FARSAD: They don't eat elephants.

SAGAL: Killed by an elephant, then eaten by lions.

FARSAD: Oh.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

FARSAD: Yeah.

SAGAL: On Monday, Texas Tech announced it would no longer consider blank in its admissions.

FARSAD: Race.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, it was reported that blank hires thousands of employees to listen to recordings made by their smart speakers.

FARSAD: Amazon?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Detroit have opened an internal investigation...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...After an officer showed up drunk to a training session on a blank.

FARSAD: (Laughter) On how to use a Breathalyzer.

SAGAL: You're exactly right...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Negin.

(APPLAUSE)

FARSAD: (Laughter).

SAGAL: According to the police report, the officer volunteered to role play the part of a drunk driver for a Breathalyzer demonstration and proceeded to blow above the legal limit.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That means he was either drinking on the job or just really that good an actor.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He is currently being investigated on charges of being really, really, really dedicated to his job.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, I think Negin did well enough to win. Did she not?

KURTIS: She got eight points for 16 more points...

(CHEERING)

KURTIS: ...with a total of 19 and the win.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations, Negin.

HIGGINS: Whoa.

SAGAL: That was masterful.

FARSAD: Thank you very much. Thank you.

HIGGINS: Did you get the questions beforehand?

FARSAD: (Laughter).

Copyright © 2019 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.