Panel Questions Helsinki Chit Chat, Fun with Fossil Fuels, Downward Facing Pharmacist.
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Panel Questions

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Panel Questions

Panel Questions

Panel Questions

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Helsinki Chit Chat, Fun with Fossil Fuels, Downward Facing Pharmacist.

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Aida Rodriguez, Maz Jobrani and Adam Burke. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill will be hugging the rhym-ote (ph) control in our Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Adam, while the Finnish people rank at the top of the world in terms of lifespan, education and wealth, The Wall Street Journal reports that they are at the bottom in one category. What?

ADAM BURKE: Humor.

SAGAL: Almost. I'll give you a hint. It's, like, nice weather we are having, huh?

BURKE: Do it in a Maz Jobrani accent.

SAGAL: That's right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's absolutely it.

MAZ JOBRANI: (Imitating Finnish accent) Nice weather we are having, huh?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That sounds like a South Asian Dr. Strangelove.

JOBRANI: Oh, it is. I mix them all up.

SAGAL: I understand.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: Small talk. I don't know.

SAGAL: Exactly, small talk.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: You got it. Apparently, the Finnish - as a nation, they're terrible at small talk.

BURKE: But...

SAGAL: They may be at the top of the world in all these other important things, but they're near the bottom at chatting with a stranger next to you at Stiarbiuucks (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And this is true - many schools in Finland are now offering small talk classes to help Finns engage with people from other countries who enjoy small talk. It goes like this. A student gets up before the class, and the teacher says, I like your shirt. Where did you get it? And the student stands there, like, totally frozen for 20 seconds before saying, fine, thanks. How are you?

(LAUGHTER)

AIDA RODRIGUEZ: You mean to tell me there is a place in the world where white people shut up?

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

RODRIGUEZ: What? I want in.

BURKE: That's why it's called - that's why they call it Finnish.

JOBRANI: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: Just finish.

SAGAL: Just finish.

JOBRANI: Yeah.

SAGAL: Maz, as some countries turn to solar and wind power, our Department of Energy is still all-in on fossil fuels. In fact, in a recent press release, it referred to fossil fuels as what?

JOBRANI: Essential.

SAGAL: No. It's a little bit like - you may remember this back during the Iraq War, where they decided they didn't want to call french fries...

JOBRANI: Freedom fries - oh, so it was freedom fuel?

SAGAL: Close enough. They called it molecules of freedom.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

JOBRANI: Oh, no.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I quote the government of the United States.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Quote - "the Department of Energy is doing what it can to promote an efficient regulatory system that allows for molecules of U.S. freedom to be exported to the world" - unquote. This was a press release about exporting natural gas - or, as they called it - and I promise you again I am not kidding - freedom gas...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Which is what we thought they called what happens when you eat too many hot dogs at the Fourth of July.

(LAUGHTER)

RODRIGUEZ: We do not need to wait till 2050.

SAGAL: No, no.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Is there any way we can hurry that up?

JOBRANI: Oh, my God.

RODRIGUEZ: All is lost.

BURKE: Molecules of freedom sounds like it was invented by atoms of asshats.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: It's true. I see where they're coming from. Like, I can't wait to be free from the onerous burden of breathing.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It takes so much time.

JOBRANI: Oh, my God.

BURKE: In and out and in and out all day long.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: When does it end?

SAGAL: 2050, by the way. That's when it ends.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We now know. Adam, question for you. Adam, if you've ever gone to CVS and wondered what it would be like to lay down on the floor, good news. As part of the company's expanded focus on health care, they'll soon be offering customers what?

BURKE: In-store yoga lessons.

SAGAL: Exactly right, Adam.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BURKE: All right. That was a guess.

JOBRANI: Wow.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The CVS pharmacy chain is expanding their focus on wellness by offering in-store yoga classes, encouraging deep breathing exercises in the place everyone goes when they have a cold.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They will also be offering a selection of eight-foot-long receipts as yoga mats.

(APPLAUSE)

JOBRANI: That's brilliant. I mean, how does that work? They're going to be, like, downward dog, aisle five.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Pretty much.

BURKE: I know that when I've been standing in line at a packed CVS with people coughing and spluttering all over me, I've always thought, you know what's missing? Yoga farts.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: That's the one thing that would really...

SAGAL: Yeah.

JOBRANI: Freedom gas.

BURKE: Yeah, freedom gas.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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