Lightning Fill In The Blank All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.
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Lightning Fill In The Blank

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Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

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All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Peter, we have a three-way tie.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh.

KURTIS: Everybody has four.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Here we go. I am going to arbitrarily decide who goes first. And I'm going to say it's Jordan. Jordan, you're up first.

JORDAN CARLOS: OK. I'm ready.

SAGAL: Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Labor Secretary Alex Acosta defended his role in blank's 2008 plea deal.

CARLOS: That was Epstein's plea deal.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the governor of New York signed a bill allowing Congress access to blank's state tax returns.

CARLOS: Donald Trump.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, stocks jumped after the Fed signaled a blank cut.

CARLOS: A Fed rate - rates.

SAGAL: Interest rate, yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday a federal judge blocked a new DHS rule requiring pharmaceutical companies to disclose blank during commercials.

CARLOS: Side effects.

SAGAL: No drug prices. Though they meant to send out next season's schedule, the American Hockey League accidentally sent all of their app users blank.

CARLOS: I don't want to say a pic of their genitals, so...

SAGAL: No. It was...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It was a text demanding $6,000 from someone named Stewart Zimmel.

(LAUGHTER)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Wow.

CARLOS: Pay up, Stewart Zimmel.

SAGAL: Pretty much. On Wednesday, automaker Volkswagen produced the final run of their iconic blanks.

CARLOS: The Beetle?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Israeli ambassador to Brazil is in trouble...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...After being caught using Photoshop to cover up a photo of himself blanking.

CARLOS: Doing the Macarena.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLOS: I have no idea.

SAGAL: He used Photoshop to try to cover up a photo of himself eating a nonkosher meal.

CARLOS: Oh, well, then.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He sat down to a big plate of definitely-not-kosher lobster with the president of Brazil when someone snapped a picture. Before it was released, the ambassador apparently altered the photo by, you know, scribbling lines over the lobster, hoping people would just say, oh, yes, blurry black lines, the national food of Brazil.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The problem is not so much that he ate a treif meal or that he Photoshopped it out but that he's really bad at Photoshop.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Better thing to do would be just, you know, grab a Torah and Photoshop in the words, bacon good.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Jordan do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Jordan, got four right - eight more points - total of 12. And Jordan's in the lead.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Woohoo.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: OK, Paula. We'll have you go next. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, an appeals court ruled that it is unconstitutional for President Trump to block critics on blank.

POUNDSTONE: Twitter.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following weeks of protests, the Hong Kong government says their proposed extradition law with blank is dead.

POUNDSTONE: With China.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the House passed a bill to change the wording of a law that describes presidents as blank.

POUNDSTONE: I don't know.

SAGAL: As male. Best-known for his third-party presidential runs in 1992 and '96, billionaire blank passed away this week at the age of 89.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, sorry - Ross Perot.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In the official declaration of a Senate run for Kansas, Republican Kris Kobach blanked.

POUNDSTONE: He declined to run for Senate?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, he misspelled his own first name.

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

CARLOS: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A minor league all-star game this week was the first baseball game in history to have its balls and strikes called by blank.

POUNDSTONE: A woman?

SAGAL: A robot.

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

SAGAL: Citizens in Australia are on alert after a...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Wild cockatoo was spotted blanking at a shopping center.

POUNDSTONE: I'm not sure, but if you were to look in another universe, you'd know...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: ...It was trying on clothes.

SAGAL: No. It ripped out all the anti-bird spikes so it could sit down.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: That is so great.

SAGAL: It is pretty great. To prevent birds from squatting in the mall's awnings, employees put up spikes across the entire building. But one cockatoo just wasn't having it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Shoppers caught him on video tearing up the anti-bird spikes with his beak and throwing them on the ground. Afterwards, he flew inside the mall, smashed a window and flew off with a crate of saltines because Polly wants a cracker.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Paula got three right.

POUNDSTONE: Well, there you have it.

KURTIS: Six more points - total of 10. She's in second place.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: And how many then does Roxanne need to win?

KURTIS: Well, four to tie and five to win.

SAGAL: OK. Roxanne, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, a federal court dismissed an emoluments lawsuit filed against blank.

ROBERTS: President Trump.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a delay, the White House says the deportation raids conducted by blank should begin on Sunday.

ROBERTS: ICE.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, officials in the U.K. say that blank tried to seize a British oil tanker in the Persian Gulf.

ROBERTS: Iran.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, online retail giant blank pledged $700 billion to teach workers how to code.

ROBERTS: Amazon.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, a judge rejected Johnson & Johnson's request to throw out a lawsuit suing the company for their part in the blank crisis.

ROBERTS: Opioid.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, UNESCO added eight buildings by famed architect blank to its World Heritage List.

ROBERTS: Frank Lloyd Wright.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: And the injured baby bird found in Utah by a drunk guy...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Is fine after the man blanked.

ROBERTS: Called Uber to take it to a wildlife refuge.

SAGAL: You're right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The man was out for the night with his friends and found the lost baby bird. He was too drunk to drive it to the wildlife rehabilitation center himself. He did the next-best thing - called an Uber, put it in the backseat, sent it on its way. According to its review, the baby bird had a great ride...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Said the car was clean and the driver even provided bottles of water and chewed up worms and regurgitated them into my mouth - four stars.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, Roxanne won, didn't she?

KURTIS: Yeah, she did.

SAGAL: Yeah, she did.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Yeah. She got seven right - 14 more points - total of 18 for her win this week.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Yeah. That was inevitable.

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