Limericks Bill Kurtis reads three news-related limericks: Robutt, Spirit Animal, Love Is Bovine.
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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

Limericks

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Bill Kurtis reads three news-related limericks: Robutt, Spirit Animal, Love Is Bovine.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There, you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming shows August 29 and 30 at Wolf Trap just outside of Washington, D.C. and September 12 at the New Jersey Performing Arts Center in Newark, N.J.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: And for all you people with smart speakers, check out the Wait Wait Quiz. It's a whole new quiz just for you, and you might even win the voice of your choice for your voicemail. Just say, play the Wait Wait Quiz.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

BENJAMIN FIFE: Hi, Peter. This is Benjamin Fife.

SAGAL: Benjamin Fife - that is a very cool name. Where are you calling from?

FIFE: I'm calling from Blackfoot, Idaho.

SAGAL: Blackfoot - oh, wow, Idaho. I've never been to that part of Idaho. Is it as beautiful as I have been told?

FIFE: You know, it's kind of normal.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Way to sell your hometown, dude.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Ben. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play?

FIFE: Sure.

SAGAL: All right. Well, then let's do it. Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: Like a cane, it'll help when legs fail, right? You never see dogs or cats flail. This appendage or limb also helps at the gym. I prevail with my new robot...

FIFE: Tail.

SAGAL: Tail...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes. A company in Japan...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...Has developed a strap-on smart tail designed to stabilize the elderly by helping maintain their balance.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You think your aunt is dangerous now, wait till she becomes Doctor Octopus with that thing.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So the idea is, like, these tails' movements and strategic weight act as a counterbalance to prevent falls. Sleek, metal design makes you look terrifying.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's tough to imagine the way this conversation would go with your loved ones. Grandma, we've all been talking, and we all think it's time for you to have a tail.

(LAUGHTER)

HARI KONDABOLU: What if you fell forward, though?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Like, if you fall - if you faint in that way, then that tail's not...

SAGAL: Well, if you fall forward, the tail will whip around in the air really cool.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And that'll be great.

KONDABOLU: If that tail was on the front, that'd be really funny.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here's your next limerick.

KURTIS: In the cheap airline seat where I sat, I was strafed by a twice-airborne rat. When vampires fret, they need comforting pets, so I'm sharing this flight with a...

FIFE: Bat.

SAGAL: A bat...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes. A Newark-bound Spirit Airlines flight...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The flight was thrown into a frenzy when a bat started flying around the cabin. Of course, the bat wanted to go to New Jersey.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Everyone was afraid of the bat until they realized that on Spirit, that's your in-flight meal.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If you catch it, it's free.

(LAUGHTER)

HELEN HONG: Wait. It was an emotional support bat.

SAGAL: No, it was just a bat...

HONG: What?

SAGAL: ...That got on the plane. Somehow, the bat got on the plane and they didn't find it until they took off. And all of a sudden, this bat's flying around in the cabin.

KONDABOLU: What a lazy bat. It can fly, and it's, like, eh. I'm that bat. I'll get on a plane. I don't feel like doing it today.

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: A plane is basically a Segway for a flying animal, essentially.

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: I could do this. But why, though?

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: When I milked her, the cow gave a shudder. My milkmaid heart started to flutter. I tugged it. It said moo. And I said I do. My beau put a ring on her...

FIFE: (Laughter).

(LAUGHTER)

FIFE: Udder.

SAGAL: Udder.

KURTIS: Udder.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A dairy farmer in Singapore made headlines around the world for proposing to his girlfriend by slipping a ring around her cow's udder so she'd be surprised when she went to milk it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We don't know yet if the woman said yes. But what we do know is technically, the farmer is now engaged to the cow.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Put the ring on, that's what happened. Which is pointless. Everybody knew he was already getting the milk for free.

(GROANING)

KONDABOLU: So he had to get it on the udder.

HONG: That's...

SAGAL: Yeah.

HONG: That's the gross part.

SAGAL: Yeah. When you think about it, I mean, a ring and an udder - it sounds crazy, but it's just a kind of nipple ring.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Ben do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Ben was perfect. Ben, you're great.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Ben. Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thanks so much for playing.

FIFE: Thank you.

SAGAL: Take care.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "SINGLE LADIES (PUT A RING ON IT)")

BEYONCE: (Singing) If you like it, then you should have put a ring on it. If you like it, then you should have put a ring on it. Don't be mad once you see...

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