Who's Bill This Time Bill Kurtis reads three quotes from the week's news: "The Weatherman-in-Chief," "Bad News Boris" and "Playtime for Grownups."
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Who's Bill This Time

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Who's Bill This Time

Who's Bill This Time

Who's Bill This Time

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Bill Kurtis reads three quotes from the week's news: "The Weatherman-in-Chief," "Bad News Boris" and "Playtime for Grownups."

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. Take a gulp of me, and I'll give you wings. I'm Red Bill.

(CHEERING)

KURTIS: I'm Bill Kurtis. And here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago filling in for Peter Segal, Tom Papa.

(CHEERING)

TOM PAPA, HOST:

Thanks, Bill. Thanks, everybody. We've got a great show for you today. Mary Wilson of The Supremes will be joining us later to play our games. But first, you may be asking yourself, why does Peter's voice sound so weird - so much cooler?

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: I'm Tom Papa, and I'm filling in for Peter Segal, who is currently volunteering with storm cleanup in Alabama.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: You may know me from my Out In America segments on Live From Here, my radio show What A Joke on Sirius XM or as a panelist on this show. If you don't know me, don't panic. Just close your eyes and call me Peter.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: I'll call you friend.

PAPA: That's why I'm here.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: You out there can call me whatever you want as long as you call me to play our games. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

IAN SNYDER: Hi, Tom. This is Ian Snyder, he/him/his, and I'm calling from Washington, D.C.

PAPA: Ah, our nation's capital. What do you do there in Washington?

SNYDER: I'm a master's student in public policy management, and I work on the league - equity in leadership team at the National League of Cities.

PAPA: Wow. That's either a superhero or very boring.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Well, thanks for being here, Ian. Are you ready to play our game? Let me introduce you to our panel. First up, it's a producer of This American Life and a host of the podcast Thirst Aid Kit, which returns on September 26 - It's Bim Adewunmi.

(CHEERING)

PAPA: Next, the syndicated advice columnist behind Ask Amy and author of "Strangers Tend To Tell Me Things," Amy Dickinson.

(CHEERING)

AMY DICKINSON: Hey, Ian.

PAPA: And the comedian you can see in Los Angeles on September 28 at the theater at the Ace Hotel, the host of the podcast "Nobody Listens To Paula Poundstone" - It's Paula Poundstone.

(CHEERING)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Hey, Ian.

PAPA: Well, welcome to the show, Ian. You're going to play Who's Bill This Time. The loveable Bill Kurtis is going to read you three quotes from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win the greatest prize in all of radio - the voice of anyone on our show for your voicemail. Are you ready?

SNYDER: You bet I am.

PAPA: Your first quote is from the National Weather Service.

KURTIS: Alabama will not see any impact from Dorian.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: That was a tweet in response to whose incorrect weather warning?

SNYDER: I believe it was a Sharpie drawing from President Trump.

(CHEERING)

PAPA: Ah-ha. That's right...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SNYDER: ...President Trump. For whatever reason, the president has been insisting Hurricane Dorian was headed for Alabama...

(LAUGHTER)

SNYDER: ...Which it wasn't, saying that he got that information from meteorologists, which he didn't.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: So on Wednesday, he held up a National Weather Service map showing the path of Dorian towards Alabama. But it was a Photoshop. Actually, it wasn't even a Photoshop. It was a Sharpie-shop.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: He drew on it with a Sharpie.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: He didn't even use the same color.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: It was like a kid changing his grade from an F to a B with a crayon.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: Did you all see it? It was a bad fake. He just Sharpied on this little extra bubble at the end of it - at the end of the hurricane path, as if Florida doesn't look perverted enough.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Oh, my God.

POUNDSTONE: Maybe it was supposed to be a thought bubble. Maybe it was, like - or, like, a word, like he was going to - if he had finished it, it was going to have, like, Alabama talking, like...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: ...Glad it's not us.

DICKINSON: Oh, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Does anybody know why he did that? I mean, the only thing I can think of is he has some sort of investment in Sharpie because we've used the word Sharpie so much.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: That's very smart. I think you're right because he's made a couple of gaffes with the Sharpie, right?

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

PAPA: Didn't he change his weight on his physical from 330 to 230?

DICKINSON: No.

PAPA: Yeah. Yeah.

DICKINSON: Oh, my God.

PAPA: With a sharpie. Trump was so mad about this, on Thursday, he took to Twitter, calling the hurricane Sleepy Dorian...

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: No.

PAPA: ...And saying a lot of people are saying this is the weakest hurricane ever...

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: No. No (laughter).

PAPA: And I personally am doing a much better job destroying American cities.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: OK, Ian. Your next quote comes from England.

KURTIS: (Imitating British accent) Not a good start, Boris.

PAPA: That was a member of Britain's Labour Party reacting to whose pretty terrible week?

SNYDER: That would be Prime Minister Boris Johnson.

PAPA: Very good. That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had a bad, bad week. He lost four out of four votes. He lost his majority, with one member of Parliament actually getting up and leaving his party while he was speaking.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: And his brother retired from government, basically saying he wanted to spend less time with his family because his family...

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: ...Was Boris Johnson.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Then on Friday, Donald Trump emailed him a map showing that Hurricane Dorian was headed right his way.

(APPLAUSE)

DICKINSON: But, you know, the whole - I actually was sort of glued to C-SPAN watching some of these proceedings. It's so...

POUNDSTONE: No one has ever been glued to C-SPAN.

DICKINSON: I know.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: It was crazy. It was actually very dramatic.

PAPA: But, Bim, is there anything that we're missing about this?

BIM ADEWUNMI: I'm in the unique position this week of being embarrassed by the country I live in and the country I come from.

(LAUGHTER)

ADEWUNMI: And it's quite a - it's a horrible place to be.

(LAUGHTER)

ADEWUNMI: It's not quite a rock and a hard place. It's, like, mud and, like, more mud.

(LAUGHTER)

ADEWUNMI: And I'm just wearing, like, flip-flops. Like, I'm already, like, borderline always embarrassed to be British anyway. It's just, like, you know, it's in the blood. They give it to you at birth. But then it's been building to the point now whenever I hear a British voice on, like, NPR in the mornings, I just slowly - I don't even do it quickly - I just slowly turn it down. Like, no, no, no, no, no.

(LAUGHTER)

ADEWUNMI: So I don't talk anymore at the office because I can hear myself. And I'm, like, oh, that's too much. It's...

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: All righty. And here is your last quote.

KURTIS: Whee (ph).

PAPA: That was Bill going down the slide...

DICKINSON: (Laughter).

PAPA: ...Now that adults are allowed to participate in their very own what?

SNYDER: Recess? Playground?

PAPA: That's right...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: ...Recess.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: According to The Wall Street Journal, cities like San Francisco, Seattle and Greensboro, N.C., are putting on adult recess.

DICKINSON: Oh, my God.

PAPA: Grown-ups play classic recess games like kickball, tetherball and dodgeball, which are just as fun, fun and traumatizing as they were you were a kid.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Where is this - you mean, like, from a break from work? You mean, you take a break from work, and you...

PAPA: From work, from their adult lives. And you can - they're, like, hey, it's recess. Are you a grown-up?

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Are you feeling...

DICKINSON: Oh, my God.

PAPA: Do those bills have you down?

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Do you not like having to wear pants in the morning?

DICKINSON: You know, I...

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: I would just go over that whole seesaw trauma all over again where you're trying to gauge your weight, and the whole thing. Like, I can't handle it.

PAPA: Yeah, I feel like it's going to bring...

DICKINSON: Can't handle it.

PAPA: I feel like it's going to bring bullies back - like, adult...

DICKINSON: Yeah.

PAPA: ...Bullies. Because I know - you know, when I see people on those scooters flying down the street, I just want to hit them.

(LAUGHTER)

ADEWUNMI: My question as ever...

DICKINSON: All the time.

ADEWUNMI: ...Is, what the hell is America?

DICKINSON: I know.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Explains a lot.

POUNDSTONE: America is one giant dodgeball game.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: It's true.

(APPLAUSE)

ADEWUNMI: That explains so much.

DICKINSON: (Laughter).

PAPA: Bill, how did Ian do?

DICKINSON: Oh, my god.

KURTIS: You know, Ian - congratulations. You got them all right.

POUNDSTONE: Hey, congratulations...

PAPA: Hey.

POUNDSTONE: ...Ian.

(APPLAUSE)

SNYDER: Thank you.

PAPA: So long.

(SOUNDBITE OF JOHN BARRY'S "BLUEBERRY HILL")

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