Who's Bill This Time Bill Kurtis reads three quotes from the week's news: "Impeachment TV," "The Grumpiest Generation" and "e-NO-gi."
NPR logo

Who's Bill This Time

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/777895804/777912784" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript
Who's Bill This Time

Who's Bill This Time

Who's Bill This Time

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/777895804/777912784" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript

Bill Kurtis reads three quotes from the week's news: "Impeachment TV," "The Grumpiest Generation" and "e-NO-gi."

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. Psst (ph) - want to know a secret? I'm a whistle-Biller, Bill Kurtis.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: And here's your host...

FAITH SALIE: (Laughter).

KURTIS: ...At the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. We have a fine show for you today, especially for you "Hamilton" fans, because we've got Leslie Odom Jr., the original Aaron Burr, joining us later. But first...

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: First, we just want to take a moment and congratulate our friends and colleagues over at NPR's Morning Edition, which celebrated its 40th birthday this week.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: Isn't it great?

ADAM FELBER: Doesn't sound a day over 30.

SAGAL: It really doesn't. And finally, at 40, they are now the same age as the children of their average listener.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But now that Morning Edition is in its 40s, they're going to have an inevitable midlife crisis. We already saw signs of it earlier this year when they hooked up with their new, younger theme song.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Don't be surprised if they start doing more stories about motorcycles and maybe learning to surf.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We're always glad to hear from you whatever your age, so give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

HARRY MCENERNY: Hi. This is Harry McEnerny from Middlebury, Vt.

SAGAL: Hey, Middlebury, Vt., I know where that is. What do you do there?

MCENERNY: I am a barista. I make gorgeous coffee art in lattes.

SAGAL: Oh, are you one of those talented baristas who take time and effort to make those beautiful designs on the top of the foam?

MCENERNY: No, I'm pretty new.

(LAUGHTER)

JORDAN CARLOS: Nice.

MCENERNY: But I'm trying.

SAGAL: You're trying.

SALIE: Hey, Harry...

MCENERNY: I can steam milk. Yes?

SAGAL: Yeah, that's good.

SALIE: I need to know your feelings about oat milk, please.

MCENERNY: Oh, my God. I'm totally for oat milk.

SALIE: Me too.

MCENERNY: I know.

SALIE: I get so angry when a place doesn't have it.

FELBER: Oat milk just got a smattering of applause here.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: It's weird.

SAGAL: Well, Harry, welcome to our show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, you can see him on "Black Mirror" this season, and he's featured in the new "Sesame Street" spinoff "The Helpsters." It's Jordan Carlos.

CARLOS: Hey, Harry. How are you doing?

(CHEERING)

MCENERNY: Hey, what's going on?

SAGAL: Next, it's a contributor to "CBS Sunday Morning." It's Faith Salie.

SALIE: Hello, Harry.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: And finally, it's the co-host of Nobody Listens To Paula Poundstone. It's Adam Felber.

FELBER: Hey there, Harry.

(APPLAUSE)

MCENERNY: Hi.

SAGAL: So, Harry, you're going to play Who's Bill This Time. As I bet you anticipated, Bill Kurtis is going to read for you three quotations from the week's news. Your job, identify or explain two of them. Do that, you win our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose from our show on your voicemail. You ready to do this?

MCENERNY: Great. Let's do it.

SAGAL: Let's do it. Here's your first quote. And yes, it's the president.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: For next week's fake hearing trial in the House, I get no lawyer and no due process - witch hunt.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That was just part...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Just highlights from a tweet in which the president was previewing next week's hit TV show. What are we all going to be watching next week?

MCENERNY: "The Apprentice" gets impeached.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Good.

SAGAL: That's certainly one of the titles they workshopped. But it is, of course, you're right, the impeachment hearings.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: If you thought "The Little Mermaid Live!" on ABC this week was impressive...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...You're going to love next week's public impeachment hearings. It will be just like "The Little Mermaid," except it'll be Rudy Giuliani who suddenly starts singing.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The hearings, which have taken place in private for weeks now, will finally get some airtime on live TV. Seriously, whoever thought Donald Trump would be on a trial show, and it wouldn't be "Law and Order: SVU?"

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Hey, we're all special victims now, people.

SAGAL: We are. We are.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's been 20 years since we've seen an impeachment on TV, and the technology has completely changed. The hearings will be bingeable. And, like Netflix, there will be a button where you can skip opening statements. That will be great.

FELBER: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Musical? Somebody could sing, right?

FELBER: Yeah.

SAGAL: They might have lights and makeup. It'll be weird to see Vice President Pence with a skin color.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: And eyebrows, even. Yeah.

CARLOS: I'm tuning in if there's a rose ceremony. That's what I want to see.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: It's amazing to me that there is such a cast of characters to call on...

SAGAL: Yes.

SALIE: ...Because this week, we had one of Pence's assistants or something. And at this point, it - how many people listen to these phone calls? It makes...

CARLOS: (Laughter).

SALIE: ...It's making me think of, like, he's in an office. He's on a phone call. It's probably on speaker.

CARLOS: Right.

SALIE: And there's, like, a line of 20 people outside the door, like, all one after another with their ears up to the door. And then somebody sneezes, and they all fall in.

SAGAL: Exactly. They all listened. And some of them...

SALIE: But how?

SAGAL: ...Were in the room. And you can just imagine the faces they were making to each other. You know, like, it was like they were, like, literally grabbing a lighter to set their hair on fire. That's...

(LAUGHTER)

CARLOS: Trump should have done what people normally do when they're on a conference call, which is, like, you know, he's on the phone with the president. He's, like, president of Ukraine, just so you know, you're on conference call.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLOS: You're on speaker, so watch your mouth.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, Harry.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Harry, here is your next quote.

KURTIS: OK, boomer.

SAGAL: That's the phrase that's become the rallying cry - the verbal eye roll, if you will - for what group of people when they criticize baby boomers?

MCENERNY: I don't know.

SAGAL: Well, who's - we know to whom it's being said. Who's saying it?

MCENERNY: Yeah, me. Millennials.

SAGAL: Yes, it's millennials.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For years now, America has been blaming young people for everything bad, from the death of bars of soap to serious movies to those 10 pounds we can't get rid of. Damn you, millennials. Well, the kids are not all right with this. They're annoyed, and they have focused their rage laser-like into the phrase OK, boomer. Now, it was created on TikTok - at least, that's what I've been told. I am 54 years old...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...So I cannot hear the range in which the audio on TikTok is broadcast.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So it is a perfect way, though - it's great to dismiss any sort of trolling concern from an old person. You kids don't understand the value of hard work. OK, boomer.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: It's so good.

SAGAL: I've fallen. I've fallen, and I can't get up. OK, boomer.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: I have a reverse mortgage.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLOS: I - this is so weird because I thought this was all just hate channeled towards Boomer Esiason.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLOS: And...

SAGAL: Really?

CARLOS: Yeah.

SAGAL: I don't think people hate Boomer Esiason that much.

CARLOS: No. I mean...

SALIE: I don't know...

CARLOS: He's a beloved...

SALIE: ...Who that is.

FELBER: He's a quarterback.

CARLOS: OK, boomer. But, like...

(LAUGHTER)

CARLOS: He's a quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals back in the day.

SALIE: Oh, of course.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So it started online, of course, like everything does, and it spread everywhere. There's merchandise. But it got into the international news this week when a 25-year-old member of the New Zealand Parliament was heckled while she was making a speech about the climate. And she just so quickly came back with an OK, boomer...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...That the guy was so burned he actually contributed to global warming.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's terrible.

SALIE: I think that OK, boomer would be a great - I think we can make - I think we can blow this out. I think it should be a reality show. And I think it should feature boomers trying to do things like they have to reset their passwords or turn off the flashlight...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah.

SALIE: ...On their iPhone...

FELBER: Oh, my God.

SALIE: ...Without any help from kids or grandkids.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Imagine all the disappointed old people, though, who thought OK, boomer was a new dating app.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Hey.

SAGAL: And it matches people by how early they fall asleep in front of the TV.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Harry, here is your last quote.

KURTIS: Don't worry. You can still get your eggplants and peaches at your local Aldi.

SAGAL: That was grocery chain Aldi letting you know they've got you covered now that eggplants and peaches have been banned on what popular social media site?

MCENERNY: Facebook.

SAGAL: Yes, Facebook.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

CARLOS: What?

SAGAL: Facebook is banning the eggplant and peach emojis when they're used to indicate anything sexual. This is bad news for all those, say, eggplant parmesan recipes your mom was trying to share with her hot boyfriend.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: For those who don't know, eggplant and peach emojis are stand-ins for certain body parts. OK, boomer.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But don't worry because you know what else works as a stand-in for that sort of thing? Everything.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLOS: Yeah.

SAGAL: Corn, a hotdog, a chili pepper, two cherries and a carrot.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Two cherries and a carrot.

SAGAL: Yes, two cherries and a carrot.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLOS: Depending on the season, broccoli, you know?

SAGAL: Exactly. You know?

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: A baguette.

FELBER: Oh, no, no, no. See a doctor.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, even the most basic emoji is sexual. What do you think that smiley face is smiling about?

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: This is just going to - people are just going to become more creative. Like, a rosebud, right? Or...

FELBER: A fig leaf.

SAGAL: Yeah.

SALIE: Maybe...

SAGAL: Don't flatter yourself.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: A Georgia O'Keeffe flower, I don't know.

FELBER: There we go.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Harry do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Harry got them all right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Congratulations. Thank you, Harry, for playing. Take care.

MCENERNY: Bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF BECK SONG, "PEACHES AND CREAM")

Copyright © 2019 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.