Panel Questions Oodles of Loos.
NPR logo

Panel Questions

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/799425712/799525663" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript
Panel Questions

Panel Questions

Panel Questions

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/799425712/799525663" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript

Oodles of Loos.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Right now, panel, though, some more questions for you from the week's news. Mo, this week, The Atlantic published an investigative piece which reveals the United States far outpaces all other countries in the number of what we have?

MO ROCCA: Snack foods? The number of what that we have. Candidates? I need a clue.

SAGAL: Well, this news makes us flush with pride.

ROCCA: Oh, we have more toilets.

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROCCA: Yes.

SAGAL: The number of bathrooms per person in America has doubled in the last 50 years.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Wow.

SAGAL: That's according to The Atlantic magazine. The Atlantic Ocean says that's great, maybe you'll stop treating me like one.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If the trend continues, soon, every single American can have their own toilet. Heck, they can have a No. 1 and a No. 2.

(LAUGHTER)

NEGIN FARSAD: If there are toilets everywhere, why am I always fighting for, like, the one Starbucks on the streets of Manhattan that might let me in to pee illegally?

ROCCA: I can use a Starbucks bathroom without ever touching anything. I can do that. I can do with my feet, the entire process...

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: ...And never actually touch anything. I've done this. And I really want to do a video to show you all how.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: But it is possible to use your foot to open the door. And then to lock it, you do, like, a "Karate Kid" kind of kick because the lock sort of flips over. And then you...

POUNDSTONE: It's called a outer crescent kick.

ROCCA: Is it?

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: I would just say that, if I could, I would bring out a roll of toilet paper on a little stand. I'd put it right next to you, and I'd say, demonstrate.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Wait.

ROCCA: You have to limber up before you do it.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: You unzip your fly with your foot?

ROCCA: No, no, no, no, no, no.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: I can't - I'm sure I could do that. I don't do that. I don't touch...

POUNDSTONE: What do you mean you're sure you could do that?

ROCCA: I'm saying that I don't touch any of the hardware in the bathroom at all.

POUNDSTONE: That's what I meant, the hardware.

FARSAD: This is, by the way, this is - like, the sequel to "My Left Foot" is this story.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "MY BATHROOM IS A PRIVATE KIND OF PLACE")

UNIDENTIFIED SINGER: (Singing) My bathroom, my bathroom is a private kind of place, very special kind of place.

Copyright © 2020 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.