PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Josh, the online magazine Romper undertook a deep investigation this week into why men take so long to do what?
JOSH GONDELMAN: Oh, define their relationship?
GONDELMAN: Can I have a hint?
SAGAL: It's the No. 2 reason people build a second bathroom.
GONDELMAN: Oh, OK. I was trying not to go there.
SAGAL: Go there.
GONDELMAN: OK. poop?
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SAGAL: Exactly. The average man...
FAITH SALIE: Why are you applauding it? It takes too long.
SAGAL: The people who researched this say that the average man vanishes into the john for two hours and 45 minutes each time.
MAZ JOBRANI: What?
SAGAL: Wait a minute. We made that up just to make you guys feel better about what you actually do.
SAGAL: It's actually more, on average, like, 20 minutes. Isn't that a lot more reasonable? According to Dr. Niket Sonpal of Brookdale University, quote, "no one in theory should take that long."
SALIE: So this is so true. Like, first of all, my husband has a whole lexicon around it. Like, oh, I'm going off campus.
SAGAL: Oh, please, share more.
SAGAL: Wait a minute. I'm...
SALIE: Hold on. I am on stage with all these men.
SAGAL: Yes, you are.
SALIE: So can someone explain to me, is this physiological or is this technological?
SAGAL: Well, here's the thing. This is why it's a subject of interest.
SALIE: Or does my husband just not want to be around me?
SAGAL: ...Funny you should ask that.
GONDELMAN: The study was of your husband.
SAGAL: So there is no physiological reason why it should take men any longer than women. So most people speculate that, for them, it's just private time away from the stresses of family. Asked for comment, the mothers said nothing, but simply spit blood from their eyes.
JOBRANI: I got a question. Did it say how long women spent - I'm just curious, how much longer are men spending than women?
SAGAL: Well, according - apparently up to 15 minutes more.
JOBRANI: Fifteen minutes more?
SALIE: Oh, yeah.
JOBRANI: That's - you should try 20. It's really...
GONDELMAN: Yeah, this study should really be like, why aren't women stretching this out?
SAGAL: I know.
JOBRANI: No, I honestly - like, kind of - you're right. First of all, you know, my kids will still come in and be like daddy. I'm like, hey. This is me. Get out. So it is. It's a moment to get away from them. And secondly, I just get mesmerized. I'm looking at my - I'm looking at the news, answering emails. But even I sometimes - you ever done it where you're getting up, you're like, oh, my leg's asleep.
JOBRANI: I've been here too long.
SAGAL: You might as well just stay the night, you know?
SALIE: Oh, my gosh.
JOBRANI: I've had that.
SAGAL: Maz, The New York Times last week reported on 3-year-old Haryz Nadzim, who lives in the UK. The toddler loves Legos, nursery rhymes, and he is also what?
JOBRANI: A royal?
SAGAL: No, he's not a royal.
JOBRANI: Give me a hint. Can I get a hint?
SAGAL: Well, he refers to his age as the square root of nine.
JOBRANI: Oh, he's a genius.
SAGAL: Yes, he is the youngest person in Mensa...
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SAGAL: ...At the age of 3. He's a genius. His mother proudly refers to Haryz as, quote, "my little brain box", which sounds like a monthly subscription service for zombies.
SAGAL: He can read fluently at the age of 3. He's good at math. And he's constantly finding ways to work into the conversation how he went to a preschool near Boston.
SAGAL: He's just been made the youngest member of Mensa, though it really in his case should be Boysa (ph), am I right?
GONDELMAN: My favorite genius R&B group is Boysa 2 Mensa (ph).
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