PETER SAGAL, HOST:
All right, panel. Here are some more questions for you from the week's news. Alonzo, without any games to cover, Fox Sports broadcaster Joe Buck has offered to do play-by-play of the action in any video his fans might send him. But after receiving many submissions, he is requesting that people stop sending him their what?
ALONZO BODDEN: Porn.
SAGAL: Well, close enough - their own sex tapes.
BODDEN: Listen, it's bad enough to see amateurs at work. We don't need a Joe Buck play-by-play.
SAGAL: Exactly right. Do you miss sports? Well, you don't miss sports as much as Joe Buck does. The beloved and behated sports commentator has been providing play-by-play for videos of kids throwing footballs in the backyard or beer pong games, all really cute until it wasn't. It is nice, though, when people are taking precautions, so he can say, and he's safe.
BODDEN: Well, it makes sense for him to be doing that because his announcing partner A-Rod is busy advising the White House on what to do with the coronavirus.
SAGAL: That's true. Well, you know, somebody's got to hold down the fort, Alonzo.
MO ROCCA: He's been getting - so he's been - Joe Buck has been getting a lot of sex tapes. That's basically it?
SAGAL: People have been sending Joe Buck sex tapes for him to do, quote, unquote, "play-by-play analysis."
ROCCA: He could have a whole line of videos called Buck Buddies.
SAGAL: It occurs to me that Joe Buck can get back at some of these people by just going ahead with what they asked him to do and doing the play-by-play. Like, ah, looks like he's using a much smaller bat than expected.
SAGAL: Based on his performance, he'll be traded for a player to be named later.
ROCCA: And it's game over before the first commercial break.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "BUCK")
NINA SIMONE: (Singing) Buck, you're a whole lot a man. Just take a look at your great big hands. You know you can crush poor me in two, but gentle, oh, so gentle are the things you do.
NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.