Bluff The Listener
MAZ JOBRANI, HOST:
Coming up, our panelists do it like rabbits in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.
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BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Jessi Klein, Faith Salie and Eugene Cordero. And here again is your host, Peter Sagal's doula, Maz Jobrani.
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JOBRANI: Thank you, Bill. Feel free to call me Lamaze.
FAITH SALIE: (Laughter).
JOBRANI: Right now, it's time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on air.
Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
BOB WILEY: Hi, Maz. This is Bob calling from Chapel Hill, N.C.
JOBRANI: Hi, Bob from Chapel Hill, N.C. How are you doing today?
WILEY: I'm doing all right. How are you?
JOBRANI: I'm well. What do you do out there?
WILEY: I'm in grad school at UNC studying chemistry.
JOBRANI: Well, you know, we need you, my friend. Any pointers on which vaccine is going to be the one to go with?
WILEY: Well, I think as long as you take one, you should be all right.
JOBRANI: All right. Well, we'll take that, Bob.
JOBRANI: It's nice to have you with us. You're going to play our game where you must try to tell truth from fiction. What's the topic, Bill?
KURTIS: Four hundred rabbits.
JOBRANI: So this week, 400 rabbits made the news. Was it what they fed the 101 dalmatians in a dark deleted scene? Was it a new pet they got Joe Biden in the hopes this one wouldn't injure him? Our panelists are going to tell you. Pick the one telling the truth, and you'll win the WAIT WAITer of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to play?
WILEY: I sure am.
JOBRANI: All right, Bob. Here we go. First, it's Jessi Klein.
JESSI KLEIN: There are many branches of the church - Presbyterian, Catholic, Protestant, to name a few. But 2020 being the special year it is, it seems there may soon be at least one new theological institution - the Church of the 400 Rabbits. This potential new church is, in fact, a tequila and mezcal bar in Nottingham, England.
Under the current COVID restrictions in the U.K., bars must close, but churches are allowed to be open. So James Aspell, owner of the 400 Rabbits tequila and mezcal cocktail bar, has sent in his application to register his tavern as a religious congregation. With places of worship allowed to open in all tiers, we thought, F it, let's start a religion. Amazingly, those were the very same words that started the Catholic Church.
KLEIN: To get approved, he needs a certain number of people to sign up and say they are members of the congregation, so he has allowed patrons to join his application as a, quote, "Bunny Believer" or "reverend of the Righteous Rabbits." Why he didn't just change the name 400 Rabbits to 400 Rabbis is anybody's guess.
KLEIN: I want to worship at the church of mezcal, said one enthusiastic convert. Certainly, after the year we've all had, getting some takeout tequila shots while we pray safely in our homes for our vaccine shots doesn't sound like such a bad idea.
JOBRANI: A bar that turned into a church from Jessi Klein. Your next story of 400 rabbits in the news comes from Eugene Cordero.
EUGENE CORDERO: At first, the dating app 400 Rabbits, the first-ever dating app just for magicians, seemed like a great idea. And rabbits were a perfect symbol, representing both magicians and something that needs to get laid a lot. But recently, the app got a lot of criticism from users who say that people they were meeting looked nothing like they do on the app. Apparently, magicians were using elaborate illusions to glam up their profile pics. One man known as The Amazing Gary (ph) used literal smoke and mirrors to make it appear that he still had hair, while a self-professed wizard who goes by the name Grimbleshanks Bloodrayne (ph) used the classic trick called the Devil's Chamber to make his condo look like a two-bedroom.
CORDERO: I just wanted to find someone I could have fun with, said one user, and maybe someday saw in half.
JOBRANI: 400 Rabbits, a dating app for magicians. Your last story of more rabbits than necessary comes from Faith Salie.
SALIE: Creating a cozy, communal feeling is a challenge for holiday parties all over the world this year, which is why the Association of Welsh Councils decided to do something special for its 400 members last week. They wanted every council member, selectperson and queen-appointed lord lieutenant in the country to enjoy a savory supper of Welsh rarebit together on a nationwide Zoom call. So they sent hundreds of orders of the traditional cheese toast to individual homes - or at least that's what they thought.
What actually happened was 400 people each received a live rabbit the day before the holiday party. And if you think a mistake like that can't happen, I have four words for you - Four Seasons Total Landscaping.
SALIE: That's right. Someone messed up the order for rarebit, and each rabbit arrived with a note that said, for our holiday party, please heat up in microwave or eat as is. So when confused Welsh leaders all over the country joined the Zoom, some had jumping bunnies in their laps. Others were picking bunny droppings off their keyboards. But a few, like Mirk Child (ph) of the Mumbles Community Council, were ready to tuck into a steaming bowl of stew cwningen, which is Welsh for rabbit stew.
Association of Welsh Councils spokeswoman Charis Craddock (ph) has apologized for the mistake but says she's been giving her bunny a cwtsh (ph), which is Welsh for a cuddle, and has named him Tom Jones (ph), which is Welsh for sexiest man alive.
JOBRANI: All right, Bob. There you have it. Is it, from Jessi Klein, the bar that turned into a church so you can drink? Is it, from Eugene Cordero, the dating app for magicians, or is it, from Faith Salie, the Welsh rarebit that was ordered, but rabbits showed up, instructed to put into the oven? Which one is real?
WILEY: I think I'll go with Jessi's one - the first one.
JOBRANI: You're going to go with Jessi Klein's story - the story of the bar that turned into a church. And to find out the correct answer, we spoke to someone directly involved with the 400 Rabbits.
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JAMES ASPELL: Because of new regulations in the U.K., we sent off an application to be classified as a place of worship, the Church of the 400 Rabbits.
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JOBRANI: Congratulations, Bob. You got it right.
SALIE: Yeah. Bob, you have graduate-level critical thinking skills (laughter).
WILEY: Thank you very much.
JOBRANI: You guessed right, earning a point for Jessi. And you've won our prize - the voice of your choice on your voicemail.
KLEIN: Thank you for my point.
WILEY: Well, thank you for having me on here. Good luck.
KLEIN: Bye, Bob.
JOBRANI: Take care.
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JEFFERSON AIRPLANE: (Singing) One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small...
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