Limericks Bill Kurtis reads three news-related limericks: Cretaceous Cliques; Bezos' Barbers, and Satellites with Slivers.
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Limericks

Limericks

Limericks

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Bill Kurtis reads three news-related limericks: Cretaceous Cliques; Bezos' Barbers, and Satellites with Slivers.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. And be sure to check us out on Instagram, @WaitWaitNPR. You'll find more info on this week's show, and you'll get a chance to explore the very beautiful mind of our very own social media influencer, Emma Choi.

Hi. You're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

CATHY MILLER: Hi.

SAGAL: Hi. Who's this?

MILLER: This is Cathy.

SAGAL: Where are you calling from, Cathy?

MILLER: I'm actually calling from the kitchen at work, but it's Madison, Conn.

SAGAL: What are you doing at work? Who goes to work these days?

MILLER: I know (laughter). I work at the Madison Beach Hotel. But during the day, I'm a literacy coach.

SAGAL: Oh, good for you. And do you feel OK working in a hotel? Are people staying in hotels again?

MILLER: Yes. It's very safe. We have a great HEPA filter.

SAGAL: Oh...

MO ROCCA: Can I say that that sounds like a pick-up line. Like, I hear you've got a great HEPA filter.

(LAUGHTER)

MILLER: It's a good one.

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Cathy.

MILLER: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bill Kurtis is now going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Are you ready to play?

MILLER: Wonderful. I'm ready to play.

SAGAL: All right. Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: I'm a dino whose arms don't extend. Still, these party invites, I will send. I'm tyrannic no more. I'm a popular-saur (ph). I'm a T. Rex who has lots of...

MILLER: Friends.

SAGAL: Yes, friends.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new study suggests that rather than being lone predators, T. Rexes were very social and loved hanging out in packs, which must have been hard. Imagine trying to put your friendship bracelet on when your little arms can't even reach each other. Now, this evidence comes from a collection of fossils found in a mass grave in Utah called - and I kid you not - the Rainbows and Unicorns Quarry. What a great name for a mass death site. And it included multiple T. Rex skeletons and a fossilized Groupon for a fun canoeing weekend.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Peter, Peter, why is this a surprise? The name of the show was "Barney & Friends."

SAGAL: You're right. And that, as we know, archeologically accurate. You know, I think - I just basically think the asteroid was a mistake, that I think it was a much cooler planet when dinosaurs ruled the Earth. And I'm kind of sorry that we got to take over because I just don't think we're as cool.

ADAM BURKE: It was meant to hit us. It just got here early.

SAGAL: Yeah, I know.

BURKE: It's like an Amazon package.

SAGAL: Every 7-year-old in America is like, oh, yes, he's right. He's right. They're cooler.

(LAUGHTER)

NEGIN FARSAD: Alternate theory is that it wasn't an asteroid; it was just that they ran out of branch places. So...

(LAUGHTER)

FARSAD: They're a social being, and then...

SAGAL: That's true.

FARSAD: ...I guess that killed them.

BURKE: Yeah. Either that or the endless mimosas.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: I love it. Rex in the city.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. Here is your next limerick, Cathy.

KURTIS: Jeff Bezos, the bald billionaire, grabs clippers and points to the chair. He claims Amazon is a fancy salon. His delivery team now cuts...

MILLER: Hair.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The very first Amazon hair salon opened in London on Tuesday. And I know what you're thinking. If there's one person I would definitely trust with my hair, it's Jeff Bezos.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The salon, in addition to actually cutting your hair, it features these augmented reality hair consultations. And it uses Amazon visualization technology to show you what you will look like with different hairstyles. Unfortunately, this augmented reality system that allows you to change your look on a whim only works before you get your hair cut. You will then still live in reality, where you cannot pull off bangs.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: Wait. So do they actually offer haircuts?

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURKE: Or is it - so what happens? So they send one of the drones, and then you just stick your head out the window...

SAGAL: Apparently, (unintelligible) snip, snip, snip. No, it's an actual - I mean you probably have seen them, that Amazon has been opening for the last few years, retail stores - retail bookstores and food stores. And this is their latest foray.

FARSAD: Is there a thing after you get your hair cut that's like, people who got this haircut also got, like, this...

SAGAL: The real danger is - there is. And the sad thing is it says people who got this haircut also were interested in a whole bunch of hats.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. We have one more limerick for you, Cathy.

KURTIS: We lumberjacks think this is good. We shall be where Neil Armstrong has stood. Astrophysical laws lead our axes and saws on a satellite made out of...

MILLER: Wood.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: You are right.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: Wood. Take that, good ideas. There's a wooden satellite in town. A group of Finnish engineers is going to launch the first ever working satellite made of wood. It's called WoodSat, and it looks like pretty much what an 8 year-old would make if you gave him some plywood and told him to build a satellite. It's sort of this square thing with an antenna. It is equipped with scientific instruments and two cameras. Those cameras will be pointed mostly at itself to capture the historic moment it bursts into flames.

ROCCA: Oh, my. This must have been - this must have been invented by yuppie parents. Oh, we only want wooden toys for our kids.

(LAUGHTER)

FARSAD: We're only doing Danish modern in our satellites right now.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Cathy do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Cathy came to play. Three-zip and a perfect score.

SAGAL: Oh, congratulations, Cathy.

MILLER: Yay. Thanks.

SAGAL: Thank you so much.

MILLER: Thanks for having me.

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