Nun of Us Are Friends

It's a basic tenet of friendship that you get to choose your friends. In this episode, we look at two institutions that experimented with taking away that choice. First, we follow two women who lived in Catholic convents in the 1960s. Then, we hear about a program for high schoolers — Telluride Association Summer Program — where being friends with everyone is the new normal. What do we lose and what do we gain when we let go of our preferences and try to make friends with people we might otherwise pass over?

Additional Resources:

Experts in this episode:

• Siwei Cheng is an Assistant Professor of Sociology at New York University.
• Mikaela Sundberg is a Professor of Sociology at Stockholm University.
• Kathleen Sprows Cummings is a Professor of American Studies at the University of Notre Dame

Research featured in this episode:

• Structural effect of size on interracial friendship (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences)
• 'You Can't Just Stick with Those You Like': Why Friendship Practices Threaten Fraternal Life in Cistercian Monasteries (Sociology)

Learn more:

• In her memoir Forever and Ever, Amen, Karol Jackowski writes about her early years in the convent
• Philosopher P. Quinn White asks: should we strive to love everyone?
• The Telluride Association Summer Program (TASP) will continue in 2022 as the Telluride Association Summer Seminars (TASS), offering free six-week educational experiences for high schoolers, focused on combating racism and anti-Blackness

Special thanks to the following musicians:

• Theme music by Infinity Knives
• Ramtin Arablouei
• Jonathan Barlow
• Connor Lafitte
• Firephly
• Skyhole
• Solxis