Scott TobiasScott Tobias is the film editor of The A.V. Club, the arts and entertainment section of The Onion, where he's worked as a staff writer for over a decade.
Minor Penalty: Hockey player Derek (Dwayne Johnson) tells his girlfriend's 6-year-old that there's no such thing as molar-collecting fairies — and gets smacked around by Julie Andrews as a result.
20th Century Fox
Home Is Where The Horse Is: Our equine hero and his hapless human housemates take a break from their high-speed stop-motion adventures battling waffle-loving sea creatures and parachuting cows.
Rosemary's Baby Sitter: Samantha (Jocelin Donahue) agrees to baby-sit for a creepy couple on the night of a lunar eclipse — never mind that there's no baby in sight. In the best scare-flick tradition, it doesn't end well.
Swept Away: In a short directed by Brett Ratner, Olivia Thirlby and Anton Yelchin are paired together for an eventful prom date. All 10 shorts in New York, I Love You revolve around the pursuits of love and lust in the city.
A Bit Of The Ultraviolence? With his thoroughgoing ruthlessness and his curious charm, Britain's infamous professional thug Charlie Bronson (Tom Hardy) inspires comparisons to the psychotic anti-hero of A Clockwork Orange.
Happy Hunting: Woody Harrelson's loose, loopy Tallahassee makes a kind of freestyle art of dispatching zombies — which makes him a perfect foil for Jesse Eisenberg's neurotically methodical Columbus.
Under the influence: Freed by the Woodstock vibe — and a certain mood-altering substance — shy painter Elliot Teichberg (Demetri Martin, center) discovers the Aquarian age with two hippies (Kelli Garner and Paul Dano) in a classic VW van.
Surf's up: Will (Connell) comes into his own as the manager of the fledgling band "I Can't Go On, I'll Go On." The 20-year-old actor used to play in his own band, Exist — in the basement of his parents' house.
Van Redin/Summit Entertainment