Episodes We Love: The Power Of No, Part 2

"What do I want?" This is the question Oprah Winfrey finally asked herself, after years of struggling to say "no" to people in her life. In the second of this two-part series, the Sugars continue their conversation with Oprah Winfrey on when, why and how to say "no." This episode was originally released July 22nd, 2017.

Episodes We Love: The Power Of No, Part 1

There's incredible power in saying "yes." It opens up avenues and allows us to be brave. In Cheryl's case, it's what led to her becoming Sugar. But saying yes to life's opportunities can also have its risks. The Sugars are joined by Oprah Winfrey to discuss when to say no, how to say no, and what happens in the wake of that. This episode was originally released July 15th, 2017.

Episodes We Love: Friendship, Part 1

Everyone has had a friendship quandary of some sort in the past, right? This week, the Sugars take on frequently asked questions in "rapid fire" fashion – from hating your best friend's significant other, to hating her politics. This episode was originally released October 28th, 2016.

Episodes We Love: May-December Romances

Age is just a number in many contexts, but when it comes to finding long-lasting love, an age gap between partners can greatly impact the course of the relationship — both in positive and challenging ways. The Sugars discuss those so-called "May-December" romances with the help of Lucinda Franks, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author of the memoir Timeless: Love, Morgenthau, and Me, which tells the story of her marriage to New York District Attorney Robert Morgenthau, who's 27 years her senior. This episode was originally released October 20th, 2016.

Episodes We Love: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me

Divorce is always a painful process, but it's especially so when there are children in the middle. This week, the Sugars discuss situations of parental alienation caused by divorce. They answer letters from a mother and a father whose daughters have cut off all communication with them after taking the other parent's side. This episode was originally released October 14th, 2016.

Episodes We Love: Make The Call

The Sugars bring you another "rapid fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters. This time, they challenge each other to make the call — one way or the other — on the questions they're discussing, rather than offer open-ended guidance. This episode was originally released September 30th, 2016.

Episodes We Love: How Do I Find The Courage To Be My Own Guide?

The Sugars often discuss letters dealing with very specific problems or struggles. This week, they take on a broader, more existential question — how to follow your heart. The Sugars discuss with the GRAMMY-winning singer/songwriter India Arie, who shares how she learned to be her own guide. This episode was originally released September 23rd, 2016.

Episodes We Love: I'm A Transgender Man, Seeking Acceptance

The Sugars read the letters of two transgender men who are struggling to find love and acceptance. They discuss with Cooper Lee Bombardier, a visual artist, writer and transgender man. This episode was originally released September 2nd, 2016.

Dear Sugars Presents: Last Seen

From our partners at WBUR, a new podcast that looks into the greatest unsolved art heist in history: the theft of half a billion dollars worth of art from the Isabella Stewart Gardner museum in Boston. Listen to the first episode and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

Episodes We Love: Can A Sexual Assault Survivor Love A Rapist?

The Sugars discuss a letter from a survivor of sexual assault who has just been told by her long-time partner that he raped someone when he was in high school. The writer wonders how she, as a survivor and self-proclaimed feminist, can justify loving a rapist. This episode was originally released July 28th, 2016

The Long Goodbye

After four years of ministering to the lost, lonely, and heartsick, the Sugars say farewell on this final episode of the podcast. We take a look back at some of our most powerful advice, hear from former guests, and talk to listeners about how the show has impacted their lives. Cheryl and Steve share what saying goodbye means to them, speaking with radical empathy straight into our ears, one last time. For more information on today's episode visit nytimes.com/dearsugars.

Moving On, Part 2 — With Dr. Harriet Lerner

"Dear Sugars, I'm a serial codependent. I've married and had children with two addicts," begins a letter signed by "Mommy Messed Up." Over the years, her second husband began to withdraw and stash money inside of old bottles. Now Mommy Messed Up is ready to end their toxic relationship. The only problem is she'll have to disrupt her children's lives for a second time. "I'm fine with breaking my own heart," she writes. "But how do I break my boys' hearts?" A second letter comes from a woman who is haunted by her abortion, a decision she laments now that she's experiencing early menopause. Both women are ruled by their regret. In this second part of our series on moving on, the Sugars and Dr. Harriet Lerner discuss how we can release ourselves from our past mistakes and move forward despite our deepest regrets. For more information on today's episode, including a list of literary recommendations from the Sugars, visit nytimes.com/dearsugars.

Moving On, Part 1 — With Claire Bidwell Smith

As our final season draws to a close, the Sugars have been thinking about what it means to say goodbye and let go. In this first episode of our two-part series on moving on, the Sugars and Claire Bidwell Smith answer two letters from people struggling to move past their grief after the death of their loved ones. The first letter comes from a woman who recently discovered that her best childhood friend died by suicide. Now she's haunted by the fact that she failed to intervene years ago. The second letter comes from a woman who has the sickening feeling that she played a role in her mother's death. Both letter writers wonder how they can get out from under their guilt and carry on with their lives. For more information on today's episode visit nytimes.com/dearsugars.

Talking About Privilege — With Catrice M. Jackson

Privilege comes in many forms: socio-economic privilege, gender privilege, heterosexual privilege, to name a few. But behind every case is an imbalance of power, invisible to those who possess it, and ever-present for those who don't. In today's episode, the Sugars reply to two letter writers whose loved ones are unable see their own privilege. One letter comes from a woman whose fiancé wants her and their future children to take his last name. The Sugars call on Catrice M. Jackson, a leading voice for racial justice, to help answer a second letter from a woman who calls herself "A Mother of White Privileged Children." Together, Ms. Jackson and the Sugars discuss ways in which racism is internalized, and outline best practices for talking about privilege. For more information on today's episode visit nytimes.com/dearsugars.

Emotional Abuse — With Reema Zaman

He removed her makeup when he thought she was wearing too much. He refused to put her name on the leases for their car and their house. He told her that she had a green card only because he chose to marry her. Reema Zaman was in an emotionally abusive marriage. Although her husband's abuses never left any physical mark, it took her years to repair the damage he inflicted upon her. In today's episode, Ms. Zaman describes some of the telltale signs of an emotionally abusive relationship and helps the Sugars answer two painful letters from women who are struggling to disentangle themselves from their abusive partners. For more information on today's episode visit nytimes.com/dearsugars.

Dear Sugars Live: The Great Reckoning

Dear Sugars returns to Portland, Ore., for another epic live show. Special guests Mitchell S. Jackson and Rebecca Skloot share the stage with the Sugars to tell stories of personal reckoning and answer letters from the audience. To some extent, every letter the Sugars receive is a kind of reckoning, as it's often the letter writer's first attempt at taking account of their mistakes and delusions. In this episode, the Sugars take a long hard look at transgressions of love, friendship, the self and so much more. For more information on today's episode visit nytimes.com/dearsugars.

Rapid Fire: Love & Money

When it comes to love, money is supposed to be no object. But there's no disentangling love from anything in our lives, and income is no exception. So how do you assess the role money should play in a relationship, and what happens when your desires and means change over time? In today's rapid-fire episode, the Sugars answer five letters from people who want to know how to discuss money with their romantic and familial partners. For more information on today's episode, including a list of literary recommendations from the Sugars, visit nytimes.com/dearsugars.

Young & Isolated — With Shirley Manson

Feeling like an outsider is one of the hallmarks of adolescence, but in today's episode we hear from two 16-year-olds who have cause to feel especially isolated. One girl is home-schooled and rarely leaves the house. A second girl feels disconnected from her best friend, who has suddenly become popular at school. Both letter writers wonder if they'll ever feel comfortable in their own skin. Shirley Manson, the lead singer of the alternative rock band Garbage, joins the Sugars to discuss her own journey as an outsider. She assures the letter writers that though they may feel like outcasts, they are not alone — most teenagers at some point feel inferior to their peers. For more information on today's episode, including a list of literary recommendations from the Sugars, visit nytimes.com/dearsugars. Today's episode features the song "Beloved Freak" from Garbage's 2012 album "Not Your Kind of People."

Who's Your Daddy? — With Steve Lickteig

With the advent of affordable DNA testing and companies like 23andMe, many people have discovered that the family members they grew up with are not biologically related. For some, these revelations can be a welcome and exciting discovery process. For others, they're shocking and unwanted. In today's episode, Steve Lickteig explains how his family and community kept his true identity from him for 18 years, and the Sugars advise letter writers who are still reeling from their genetic discoveries. For more information on today's episode, including a list of literary recommendations from the Sugars, visit nytimes.com/dearsugars.

Trust Your Body — with Hilary Kinavey & Dana Sturtevant

A letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative was categorized as overweight when she was 5 years old. As an adult, she vacillates between dieting and gorging on cake and ice cream. The sinister cycle of dieting and binge-eating plagues many American women, but recently a counter-movement called Body Positive has sprung up. The movement promotes fat acceptance and attempts to reverse body-shaming, no matter one's size. But Body Negative is skeptical, writing, "I struggle with how to be body positive after years of being told it's wrong to be my size and weight. Is there such a thing as unconditional body acceptance?" Hilary Kinavey, M.S., L.P.C., and Dana Sturtevant, M.S., R.D., the co-owners of Be Nourished, join the Sugars on today's episode to offer new definitions of health and discuss alternatives to the "dieting mind.". For more information on today's episode, including a list of literary recommendations from the Sugars and a link to Cheryl Strayed's photoshopped Vogue image, visit nytimes.com/dearsugars.

Rapid Fire: There's Just One Thing

He's smart, kind, generous and oh-so handsome. You're beginning to imagine starting a family with him. He's everything you've ever wanted in a partner — but there's just this one thing... In today's rapid fire episode, the Sugars read letters from four women who each have one not-so-tiny reservation about the men they're dating. When it comes to religious and racial differences, commitment issues, and health problems, which can be ironed out and which are deal breakers?

Sex & Aging — With Dr. Pepper Schwartz

When two women in their sixties start losing interest in sex, their sex-starved partners become increasingly frustrated. Both women blame old age for their waning libidos. But is their diminished sex drive because of age or something else? The erotic lives of senior citizens are typically made invisible by our culture, which can lead to confusion and misinformation. Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the love and relationship columnist for AARP, joins the Sugars to dispel certain myths about sex and aging For more information on today's episode, including a list of literary recommendations from the Sugars, visit nytimes.com/dearsugars.

Rage is a Red Lesson — With Morgan Jerkins

Shortly after the birth of her first child, a letter-writer who calls herself "Tantrum Daughter" lost her mother to suicide. Now, with a second child on the way, Tantrum Daughter is filled with rage and she's unable to control her angry outbursts. She worries that her anger will drive her husband away and irrevocably harm her children. The Sugars and the writer Morgan Jerkins discuss the connection between trauma and rage, and offer Tantrum Daughter practical ways to address both. For more information on today's episode, including a list of literary recommendations from the Sugars, visit nytimes.com/dearsugars.

Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work (Most) Women Do—With Gemma Hartley

Remembering the grocery list, coordinating with the babysitter, making food for the potluck, scheduling a get-together with the in-laws: These are some of the invisible tasks that (most) women exclusively do in their romantic relationships — and the list goes on and on. In today's episode, the Sugars and Gemma Hartley read letters from wives and girlfriends who are fed up with the imbalance of domestic labor in their romantic relationships. For more information on today's episode, including a list of literary recommendations from the Sugars, visit nytimes.com/dearsugars.

Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work (Most) Women Do—With Gemma Hartley