Everything Happens Life isn't always bright and shiny, as Kate Bowler knows. Kate is a young mother, writer and professor who, at age 35, was suddenly diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. In, warm, insightful, often funny conversations, Kate talks with people about what they've learned in dark times. Kate teaches at Duke Divinity School and is author of "Everything Happens (And Other Lies I've Loved)."
Everything Happens

Everything Happens

From North Carolina Public Radio

Life isn't always bright and shiny, as Kate Bowler knows. Kate is a young mother, writer and professor who, at age 35, was suddenly diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. In, warm, insightful, often funny conversations, Kate talks with people about what they've learned in dark times. Kate teaches at Duke Divinity School and is author of "Everything Happens (And Other Lies I've Loved)."

Most Recent Episodes

Emi Nietfeld: The Cost of Survival

What does it really mean to "survive" when what you survive... lingers? Emi Nietfeld went from being homeless to graduating from Harvard. But the rags-to-riches story isn't ever completely true. It skips over the hardest parts—complicated families, long-term trauma on brains and bodies, the ways we wish we could go back and undo what has been done. This is an incredible story about resilience—what it is, and what it isn't. You're going to love the way she talks about the power of her efforts. And the ways she learned to get back up, but should have never had to. In this conversation, Emi and Kate discuss: the cost of resilience the downsides of relying on the individual therapeutic to solve every problem (and why we should be looking for ways to create systemic or family solutions too) how hope and ambition can pull you toward a future the complexities of navigating the value of success when weighed against the lasting impact of trauma Emi carefully interrogates what it really means to "overcome" anything. It makes us all feel less alone when we can say, honestly, that some things can be conquered and some things conquer us. CW: brief mentions of suicidal ideation, eating disorders, self-harm, adverse childhood, hoarding, trans issues Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Emi Nietfeld: The Cost of Survival

Lisa Damour: Understanding Today's Teenagers

How hard is it to be a parent today? After a pandemic? With social media breathing down our necks? It's so hard! Navigating the delicate balance between granting independence and providing guidance can be daunting as a parent. Dr. Lisa Damour (New York Times bestselling author of The Emotional Lives of Teenagers) has dedicated her life to unraveling the intricacies of adolescence and offering practical, heartfelt advice. In this conversation, Lisa and Kate: offer a more reassuring definition of mental health (hint: it's about having the right-sized feelings that fit the situation at hand and managing those feelings effectively). emphasize the importance of being a steady presence in kids' lives, as well as offer scripts to try with your own teenager give language to what parents might be feeling if they missed this kind of parenting themselves CW: Mental Health awareness *** Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter). See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lisa Damour: Understanding Today's Teenagers

Rob Delaney: A Heart that Works is a Heart that Hurts

Comedians have the ability to be unsparingly honest in ways that buck all cultural norms. It's a truth-telling that so many of us crave. Cue Rob Delaney. Rob is a comedian, actor, writer, and director. His memoir, A Heart That Works is an unsparing account of the death of his beautiful son, Henry. Rob lives in London with his family where Kate visited him for this honest and hilarious conversation. Kate and Rob discuss: The importance of finding people who really understand what you're feeling What not to say to people whose kids have died How tragic loss exiles you to a planet where only those who understand grief live The ways we hope grief metabolizes in us and transforms us into empathetic, heart-open kinds of people Rob wants us all to understand that if the unthinkable happens, our hearts still beat so strong in truth and love. CW: hard-earned explicit language of a bereaved parent, death of parent, Suicide, death of a child *** Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter). See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Rob Delaney: A Heart that Works is a Heart that Hurts

Jenna Bush Hager: Get in the Game

The TODAY Show's Jenna Bush Hager sits down for a wide-ranging conversation with Kate Bowler. Together, they share about the importance of family and intergenerational relationships (Jenna shares such tender stories about her grandparents), how they hope to let their kids make mistakes and be met with grace, and how they both (try to) find beauty in ordinary, regular days and regular problems. In this conversation, Kate and Jenna discuss: How to model openness and empathy across difference (even when people really, really disagree) Why they want to raise their kids to be curious and independent How the love of others makes us brave—brave enough to make mistakes (and why that's okay) Kate visited Jenna in New York City for this conversation. And Jenna is just as lovely and generous of spirit as you'd imagine. CW: fertility issues; Alzheimer's Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter). See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jenna Bush Hager: Get in the Game

Introducing Season 11 of Everything Happens

Are you living your best life now? Not always? GREAT, ME NEITHER. My name is Kate Bowler. I'm a professor, speaker, podcast host and New York Times bestselling author. Which makes it sound like I believe in living your "best life." Don't worry—I don't. I study the stories we tell about success and failure, suffering and happiness. And hobbies are wasted on me because I'd rather be talking to funny and wise people about how to live with the knowledge that, well, everything happens. A new season of *fantastic* conversation starts on September 5th. Mark your calendar. Make sure you're subscribed. You won't want to miss this. EVERYTHING HAPPENS is available everywhere you get your podcasts. *** Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or (what was formally known as) Twitter. And be sure to subscribe to our email to receive behind-the-scenes updates. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Introducing Season 11 of Everything Happens

Tig Notaro: The Luckiest Unlucky Person

How do you live knowing life can just come undone at a moment's notice? In the span of a few months, Tig Notaro received three life-threatening illnesses, unexpectedly lost her mom, and went through a breakup. Tig is a brilliant comedian whose real life informs her comedy and has a lot to teach us about living honestly in the face of reality. In this conversation, Kate and Tig discuss: Tig's "hands-off" parents and her journey of self-discovery, eventually uncovering her talents in the entertainment industry and making her a respected figure in comedy How Tig Notaro's family of "real characters," served as an abundant source of comedic inspiration in her life (including the best graveyard story ever) How to live alongside fear of what you know could actually happen? CW: cancer, death of parent *** Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here. Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter. THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here. Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tig Notaro: The Luckiest Unlucky Person

Miroslav Volf: Life Worth Living

What makes a good life? How would you answer that question? Not just life in the abstract... but what makes YOUR life good? Professor Miroslav Volf teaches a popular class at Yale University which guides students through these kinds of questions and might help us all think a little more deeply about what our lives are adding up to be. In this conversation, Kate and Miroslav discuss: Why just practicing the habits of a good life doesn't make a life meaningful (hint: we need to be thinking about the ends) Importance of asking questions we don't always have the answers to How to define joy What does flourishing look like when we feel like we're "losing" How joy and suffering can coexist On a personal note, this is a special interview for Kate because Miroslav was also her professor at Yale and someone she looks up to with joy and admiration. *** Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here. Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter. THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here. Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Miroslav Volf: Life Worth Living

Kwame Alexander: To Be Loved Like That

Our most precious relationships are often our most complicated, aren't they? Poet and bestselling author Kwame Alexander wrote an honest book of poems and essays that name the difficult and beautiful and heart-wrenching conversations we have (or should be having) with the people we love and with the ones who love us. In this conversation, Kwame and Kate discuss: How we can't outrun our grief How our own parents love us in the ways they want to be loved, but maybe not in the ways we need—and how we find our ways back to each other The desire to share with our kids how we love, where we fail, where we tried, and who we were before we were their parent CW: death of parent, divorce *** Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here. Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter. THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here. Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kwame Alexander: To Be Loved Like That

Minka Kelly: Clear Eyes, Full Hearts

How do we stay soft in a world that has taught us to be tough? Actress Minka Kelly is known for her roles as Lyla Garrity on Friday Night Lights or as Samantha in HBO's Euphoria. Despite her fame on the big screen, one might not realize the chaos that surrounded her childhood. Being raised by a single mom who worked as a stripper and struggled with addiction, Minka had to learn how to take care of herself and the adults around her, and, eventually, to forgive her mom. In this tender conversation, Kate and Minka discuss: How we can be built from the outside in through our friendships and how our friends become our chosen family How anger tells us that a boundary has been crossed The unfinished ways people love us—reconciling our complicated childhoods with the love we feel for each another How Minka has processed her difficult childhood through a lens of love and grace The way Minka's mom was changed by her cancer diagnosis, and how once they found their way to one another again, there could never, ever be enough time CW: colon cancer, death of a parent, brief mentions of abuse and neglect *** Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here. Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter. THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here. Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Minka Kelly: Clear Eyes, Full Hearts

John Swinton: The Art of Presence

Some people are the LEAN IN sort. They lean into your unsolvable problems, show up on your impossible days, and walk with you all the way to the end. How do we become them? How do we create belonging when the people we love experience such uncertainty? Practical theologian and mental health nurse John Swinton knows a thing or two about this kind of love. In this conversation, Kate and John discuss: The importance of learning to be present for people with intellectual disabilities, dementia, or in mental health crises How two places that should be known as places of belonging—the church and the hospital—have become difficult for fragile people... and how we might begin to make these institutions better A theology of hope we might all be able to sign up for (Spoiler: Hope is a long story.) How love moves at a certain speed, so we all might need to slow down a bit *** Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here. Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter. THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here. Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Swinton: The Art of Presence