This episode was originally released on June 11, 2018. Her doctor categorized her as overweight when she was 5 years old. Her grandmother always introduced her as the "chubby one." As an adult, she vacillates between moderation and binge-eating, restricting food some weeks, and gorging on cake and ice cream during others. "It's only when my pants are nearly impossible to button that I force myself to lose weight," writes the letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative. "And then the pattern starts all over again." The sinister cycle of dieting and binge-eating plagues many American women. The body positivity movement promotes fat acceptance and attempts to reverse body-shaming, no matter one's size. But Body Negative is skeptical, writing, "I struggle with how to be body positive after years of being told it's wrong to be my size and weight. Is there such a thing as unconditional body acceptance?" Hilary Kinavey, M.S., L.P.C., and Dana Sturtevant, M.S., R.D., the co-owners of Be Nourished, join the Sugars to offer Body Negative and women like her some hope. Ms. Kinavey and Ms. Sturtevant present new definitions of health and discuss alternatives to the "dieting mind." Ms. Kinavey explains that before body acceptance is achievable, "most of us who have experienced a lot of body shame ... and weight stigma have healing work to do."
This episode was originally released on May 25th, 2018. When two women in their sixties start losing interest in sex, their sex-starved partners become increasingly frustrated. Both women blame old age for their waning libidos. But is their diminished sex drive because of age or something else? The erotic lives of senior citizens are typically made invisible by our culture, which can lead to confusion and misinformation. Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the love and relationship columnist for AARP, joins the Sugars to dispel certain myths about sex and aging: Do libidos change after menopause? How does the aging body affect the way we feel about sex? Should medical interventions be considered for a declining sex drive? Dr. Schwartz is a professor of sociology at the University of Washington and has written more than 25 books on love and sexuality. She's also an on-air expert for Lifetime TV's "Married at First Sight." The Sugars Recommend "Our Souls at Night," by Kent Haruf "Scary Old Sex," by Arlene Heyman
This episode was originally released on July 21st, 2018. When it comes to love, money is supposed to be no object. But there's no disentangling love from anything in our lives, and income is no exception. So how do you assess the role money should play in a relationship, and what happens when your desires and means change over time? In this episode, five letter writers want to know how to discuss money with their romantic and familial partners. How do I stop resenting my husband for his low income? How do I ask my stay-at-home wife to get a job? Should I feel obligated to share the wealth with my fiscally irresponsible parents? The Sugars answer these questions and more in rapid-fire style.
Episodes We Love: Do I Follow My Head Or My Heart?
Cheryl and Steve are no longer dishing out new advice, but we're listening back to episodes we love every week. This episode was originally released November 6, 2015. ____ The Sugars get a letter from a young woman who has fallen head over heels in love. She and her boyfriend only met a month ago, but they are already in deep. Everything seems perfect, and yet the letter writer can't help but wonder if the traumas of her new love's past are hiding somewhere under the surface, threatening to resurface. In this episode, the Sugars do something new — and get the letter writer on the phone to speak with her directly about her fears.
Episodes We Love: Do I Follow My Head Or My Heart?
This episode was originally released July 29th, 2017. ____ In a heated moment, a mother reveals a dark chapter from her childhood to her daughter, then immediately regrets it. What now? In this week's episode, the Sugars tackle this and several other questions, including how to handle a brother-in-law who treats your vacation as his own free childcare; what to do when your best friend's husband asks you to lie; and why we sometimes recoil at very public displays of grief.
This episode was originally released on January 5, 2017. How many times have you heard this: "I love him, we're great together, but..."? There's always room for doubt, even in the happiest of relationships. So in this episode, the Sugars take on some of those doubts in rapid-fire fashion.
Rewind: How Do I Find The Courage To Be My Own Guide?
This episode was originally released September 23rd, 2016. The Sugars often discuss letters dealing with very specific problems or struggles. In this encore episode, they take on a broader, more existential question: how to follow your heart. The Sugars discuss with the GRAMMY-winning singer/songwriter India Arie, who shares how she learned to be her own guide.
Rewind: How Do I Find The Courage To Be My Own Guide?
This episode was originally published on July 28th, 2018. Special guests Mitchell S. Jackson and Rebecca Skloot share the stage with the Sugars to tell stories of personal reckoning and answer letters from the audience. To some extent, every letter the Sugars receive is a kind of reckoning, as it's often the letter writer's first attempt at taking account of their mistakes and delusions. In this episode, the Sugars take a long hard look at transgressions of love, friendship, the self and so much more. Mitchell S. Jackson is the author of "The Residue Years," which won the Ernest J. Gaines Prize for Literary Excellence. He is the winner of a Whiting Award, and his honors include fellowships from Ted, the Lannan Foundation and The Rockefeller Foundation. His book, "Survival Math," was released in 2019. Rebecca Skloot is the author of "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks," which was made into an Emmy-nominated HBO film starring Oprah Winfrey and Rose Byrne. Her award-winning science writing has appeared in The New York Times Magazine; O, The Oprah Magazine; and many other publications.
This episode was originally released on January 20, 2018. "I'm a 24-year-old woman who is completely and embarrassingly aroused by people who are confined to wheelchairs," writes a woman who calls herself "Wishing to be Seen." In her pained letter, she explains the possible origins of her isolating fetish and asks the Sugars for a way out: "I just want to have an orgasm with a real human rather than with my sad self, in my sad bed, sadly watching YouTube videos of women I feel I am objectifying and using." "Wishing to Be Seen" is plagued by a single, shame-inducing fantasy, which Dr. Ian Kerner terms her "core erotic theme." Where do our core erotic themes come from? And is it possible to escape their grip? In part two of our Dark Fantasies series, Dr. Kerner returns to help the Sugars answer these questions and delve deeper into the world of sexual fantasy. Dr. Kerner specializes in sex therapy and couples therapy. He's also the New York Times best-selling author of "She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman." The Sugars Recommend "The Metal Bowl," by Miranda July "The Erotic Mind," by Jack Morin
This episode was originally released on January 13, 2018. Orgies. Sex in public. Incest. These are the things that some of us think about in the dark. Taboo fantasies can be exciting, but they can also be the source of our deepest shame. In this two-part series on sexual fantasies, the Sugars read letters from people who want to turn off the thoughts that turn them on. Dr. Ian Kerner, a psychotherapist and sexuality counselor, helps the Sugars answer a letter from a woman who calls herself "Fed Up With Fantasy." She writes, "Ever since I started being a sexual being I've had terrible fantasies. Incest of every kind. Teachers having sex with their underage students. Gangbangs in public bathrooms. I cannot get turned on without thinking of these story lines. Did something bad happen to me that I have repressed so much I don't even have a hint of it?" she asks. "And how do I make it stop?" Dr. Kerner and the Sugars explore where dark fantasies come from and offer "Fed Up With Fantasy" ways she can share them with her boyfriend. Dr. Kerner specializes in sex therapy and couples therapy. He's also The New York Times best-selling author of "She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman."
